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i FEEL LIKE MY FRIEND IS DITCHING ME
my friend mili is ditching me and tessa thinks she number 1 she hates me
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Hi dear
You see,you need to understand something about the human mind. The human mind is capable of being deceitful if you allowed it to probe you along.
What are the facts you have? Why did you come into that conclusion about it? Do you beleive that your mind may be playing tricks on you?
Before you assume,kindly gather all the facts and pieces together. With the facts and pieces,you can solve the riddle whether it is true or not.
The situation is difficult for me to conclude because i am not privy to all the details but take a deep breathe and careful with the way you allow your mind to work on you.
Godspeed
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You mentioned what you think the issue is but did not ask a question. So I can only guess you want to know what to do about the situation. I remember when I was in school, and whether grade school, middle or HS, kids have through history always had the same kinds of issues as you have mentioned. When the body is maturing into adulthood, the front part of the brain is lagging behind in humans and won't be mature and capable of making good choices and having better relationship with people, among many other things we can't do well until that part of the brain is done growing by our mid twenties. That is the biggest reason for kids being cruel and not caring how another person may feel. Later as Adults they may be very kind, nice people.
So what can you do until then? You say Mili is not spending time with you since meeting tessa who does not like you at all. I have had people not like me who have never really talked to me or met me, only observed me from afar and from what they see, I am not their kind of personality type and so they automatically don't like me. Adults meet people they don't like either but we don't say so to their face or steal friends. You will always see this in life, people who don't get along or can't be friends because they are so vastly different in personality. So don't think you are the problem. Mili is excited over a new friend now and not thinking of how you feel. In time, Mili may find she is ready to juggle both of you as friends. the issue is that she may do well with both you and Tessa so she can meet with either of you but not both at the same time. You will need to make a new friend or two to have people to hang with while Mili is around Tessa. If she is friendly toward you later, after the newness of being Tessa's new friend wears off, then you would have to call her and plan times that just she and you hang out together. the best plan for that is weekends and inviting her to your house. You will need to let her know at this time in the future that Tessa doesnt like you at all and the best thing is to say, you are okay with her spending time with Tessa but you can't join in and be a group of three. She has to see either of you separately. If for some reason, she changes her mind about you, and does what many young people do, trying to impress a new friend, no matter if that person is a good person or a kid who gets in trouble, they will do what ever they think will make them liked by that person, even if it means verbally rejecting you for Tessa to see. This is of course bad judgement and as I said, something that happens when the brain is not yet mature. I highly doubt that you and her are over 25. Yes, a handful of teens out of most will mature faster mentally and treat you well but you have to really hunt for these people. I did and had really only 3 close friends in HS, people I could spend time with away from school. You may have to wait longer than you want for Mili to come around and want to be with you again. It may not be this year. But don't write her off. If and when she ever comes around, be willing to forgive her and pick up the friendship where you left off when she matures and comes to her senses. I know it feels like a big terrible thing now.
However I'd like to share about a HS reunion I went to 2 yrs ago. One gal came up to me and started apologizing for not making an effort in school to befriend me. Both she and I had social anxiety so neither of us was very capable of doing that. In fact, I did not even remember her from school. That is how unimportant you will find this all to be later in life when you are long out of school.
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