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Do you think mouthing while someone is talking to you is normal?
So I want to call out this person so bad cause she’s starting to annoy me anytime I talk to her she’s mouthing what I’m saying while I’m saying it to her, at first she’s never done it but now every time I talk to her her mouth moves while I’m saying something. I don’t really notice her do it to anyone else. I have another friend as well she’ll repeat what I say to her but I understand why she does it because English isn’t her first language and she does it to other people. Should I call her out on it or just leave it alone? Maybe I don’t speak clearly or loud enough? (I’ve been told I talk too quiet but when I talk normal suddenly I’m too loud) any advice?
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Sometimes when learning a new language, people learn ways to pronounce a new word by looking at how they mouth their words. Other than that, there are certain disabilities that affect speech in a way that people find it hard not to stutter without concentrating on mouthing things, or hearing problems.
I say if it concerns you, just ask them about it. Better to let the elephant out of the room than make things awkward for both of you.
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Odds are this habit isn’t to mock you or coming from malice or she wouldn’t be a friend or act it. It could be a non conscious thing she’s doing with no thought behind it or idea why. Rather than call her on it and display anger why not say gee I notice when we talk together that you do this. Ask why and get an explanation from her. Decide from that how you feel about relationship from there. It’s probably nothing to worry about and something she has no idea has you annoyed.
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No, this is not normal behavior. I wonder if she has a hearing problem and tends to read lips to understand what people are saying.She may not even know her hearing is diminished so if you speak light and soft, perhaps that also effects how reading your lips might work. If its as you say, and it is indeed distracting to you being able to hold conversation, then ask yourself, if knowing she had a hearing problem would make you able to tolerate it easier than knowing it was just a bad habit she is doing for you. If it's not going to make a difference and still irritate you, you might want to bring it up. If you know that revelation of a problem on her part would make you able to forgive this issue, then you might also want to bring it up so you can find out.
How you bring it up is crucial though. I know that people tend to bristle or get upset when one of their peers points out a problem of theirs or correct them, so it is always better taken if you make it about you or how you can relate or used to have the problem (i sometimes make up the latter if it doesnt apply simply to make them more comfortable.) So I would say something like, I've been noticing something that happens everytime just you and I are talking, not when we talk to others. So I could only think of a couple of things that might cause it, either I am the problem with my soft speech, or you may have an undetected hearing issue, or it's a combo of both.(By now she is dying to know what the problem is or you could ask if she has any idea of what you are talking about.) She might know and mention the moving of her lips and why. If she doesn't know, you tell her what you have observed.
Personally, if someone did that to me, I'd lose my train of thought and be unable to finish sentences as I watch the lips move. That happens too when occasionally on some phone calls, I hear a delayed echo of what I am saying and it is hard to resist hearing it and losing where I was in what I was saying. So it is very reasonable to bring it up and both of you work on the issue on your ends. That means you work on learning to become more vocal. I can relate to that. See how easy that is only this case is for real. I used to be so soft spoken or spoke very little and couldn't look people in the eyes, and have a fear of people other than my friend and maybe one friend. So I had back then what is now called social anxiety. Along with that was a low to non existent self confidence. So when you attempt to talk to be heard better, when you do not work on the underlying issues of whats causing you to be so quiet, you end up pretending, its not natural and you will over compensate and end up too loud, almost shouting) Again, I tried to fake it and ended up just sounding loudly obnoxious.
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