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I messed up my friendship badly


Question Posted Thursday February 14 2019, 3:40 pm

So basically I got dared to tell my best friends that I liked him more than friends. So I did it then he told me he liked me back. I didn’t know what to do so I said pranked then he got really mad. He blocked my friends and I from everything possibly. I’ve been trying to make accounts so I can talk to him and reach him but he keeps on shutting me down. I feel so bad and terrible you don’t understand. I’ve been upset since this happened. I miss my best friend. How do I get him back as a friend and make things okay?

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solidadvice4teens answered Tuesday February 26 2019, 7:52 pm:
You have to admit it’s a pretty shitty thing to have been put in his situation or to do to another person. The person who put you up to this needs to be taught how awful this was and learn a lesson. If it were me I would stick a card in his locker apologizing and ask him to hear you out about what happened, who inspired the prank and wanting to earn back trust. I would completely distance myself from the troublemakers and wait until he comes to you which once his anger simmers he will. Right now he feels kicked in the groin and ridiculed because his feelings were and deep down are very much fixated on loving you.

The most important thing of all is to stop period all fake accounts and avenues to reach him. It’s wrong and sends the wrong message that you may be out to hurt him by pretending to be someone else or if using real name to apologize for sake of apologizing. What you need to ask for in the card is a one on one discussion about what occurred and if you can move forward. Make it brutal that you have come to see how savage the prank was and that the instigator is no longer a part of your life.

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TrustDaily answered Wednesday February 20 2019, 10:28 pm:
I think that maybe what you did wasn't the best but you probably already know that. And whoever told you to prank him was wrong and they shouldn't have asked you to do that kind of prank to him or anyone. but it isn't your fault he likes you and if you didn't like him back. I would try and go to him in person. go up and ask if you two can talk in private like adults so it doesn't involve anyone else. but go and say how sorry you are and you didn't think he would be mad. say that you messed up and you are so sorry but it wasn't meant to hurt your feelings or have him mad at you. you didn't know he liked you and so you didn't think he would even believe you. but maybe try and give him some space and if he doesn't let you talk to him tell him that you aren't gonna give up any time soon so might as well talk to you now. but say you are my best friend and that you would NEVER hurt him any way. admit to it that it was wrong and wasn't the smartest thing to do but you wont do it again and probably drop the people who dared you to say that. I hope this helps!

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Atti_Tammz answered Saturday February 16 2019, 6:08 pm:
first of all what you did to him was unforgivable on your part. You should have known better because he was yotr best friend. The friendship you had with him now has changed forever. the friend that dared you to tell your best friend that you love him probably knew that he liked you like that so do your self a favor and examine your friendships.
You need to give him space because right now he's hurt by you and you need to apologize to him but just give him my girl.
you knew that he loved you after he said it you should not say prank after that cmon you should know better that that if you called himk your best friend. give him time. next time treat anyone as you like to be treated.
Hope that helps you out in some way

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Dragonflymagic answered Friday February 15 2019, 3:19 pm:
You can't get him back as just a friend 'best friend' because in saying you liked him as more than friends, he gave you his true feelings, that he has felt this way about you either for a long time now or from the start and he was just afraid of telling you for fear of losing you if you didn't feel the same. It's now, not about the prank but that the truth is out in the open.
Yes, lots of girls and guys will date a best friend of the opposite sex and hope it grows into something more because they believe they are in love with the person. You can't have him back as a best friend because he wants to be your boyfriend and sweetheart, not just your best friend.

Here's something you need to know about the difference between a friendship and a romantic relationship, the friendship is still there in a romantic relationship but you have the added chemistry and desire for the person sexually. Not that you would have sex, but both are excited to be holding hands, cuddling and kissing and feeling the delicious results of those things in your body, reactions you don't get if just a friend.

This friendship you have lost has never been what you thought it was, never simply your best friend, but he has felt something more and has been wishing he could pick up a hint that you liked him as more than a friend which means having the romantic feelings.

If he had not harbored any secret feelings of love for you, and was only a friend. Then he would not have reacted as he did. He would have said, "Sorry, but I don't feel the same way back." and then when you say it was just a prank, he might have said, "Well, that was a mean prank to play but I am thankful you were not serious so we can just remain friends. And he might not be so angry.

Unfortunately, there is no hope of you being a friend with a guy whose feelings for you surpass that of just a friend.

If you lie to him and tell him you have feelings for him anyways and are sorry and for some odd reason he decided to take you back, then you would still be lying to him, although you have him back. This won't last for long if you are wildly grasping for ways to get him back because this is under false pretenses and eventually he will know because your body will give away your secret. If he holds hands, hugs and kisses and you don't respond in certain ways that a person with feelings would, he will know you are lying. So don' even attempt this. What you've already done put you in the frying pan, under an uncomfortable hot situation. Pretending to have the same feelings just to get him back if it works, would be like jumping out of the frying pan directly into the fire and that means, even a bigger mess. Because if you even dared to attempt such a thing, the guy will be even angrier and will be sure to broadcast to every guy in school and the neighborhoods around to avoid you because you can't be trusted and that will kill your chances of ever dating a guy as long as you live in the same area, same school. You won't get any dates until you move far to another part of the city to go to school where people don't know of your shenanigans. The best thing you can do is when making a bad judgement error, is to learn from it. What did you learn dear?
I hope its not only to not prank someone about feelings. If you thinking other kinds of pranking are okay, better start asking yourself why you have such a burning desire to play mean games on people you know. Ask yourself in that case if perhaps you don't care enough about them as friends that you don't care if you hurt their feelings. Other things you could learn is to not do something just but other friends urge you to do it. If you don't and they drop you as a friend, then that is good, because they were not really good friends if they would ask you to do something that would intentionally hurt someone else. If they asked you to jump off a bridge, or attempt to roller-skate blind folded, would you do it? You'd know it was too risky and you could die. So if its something that would affect you, you probably wouldn't listen to them. So why is it okay to think its okay to do something that would affect someone else in a bad way. And here is where you would say, but I didn't know he loved me, or i wouldn't have done that. And this is were the final lesson to learn comes in. Before you do anything, your own idea or someone elses, learn to use your imagination and put yourself in the other persons shoes. I still do this as an adult and I can say if you learn this one thing, you will use it again and again your entire life because it really is very useful in helping you to have the best interactions with people or even just understanding of another person. Putting yourself in anothers shoes is a way to imagine what it would feel like if you were the other person. I'll take you through it. Just reverse the situations. So here we imagine that lets call him Peter, and his friends egged him on, telling him to say to you that he has feelings for you that are of 'more than a friend'. Lets say that he doesnt have these feelings but you do. Lets say you have felt love feelings for him since you first met but you kept it a secret. So one day he tells you of these romantic feelings and imagine how elated you are, you no longer have to hide your feelings and can tell him in return that you have had feelings for him as well. Then he says it was just a prank. Over the days and weeks after, he is trying everything he can think of to get back together as friends, but you were hurt. You were tricked into betraying your true feelings, ones he doesn't have for you in return. How awkward would it feel to even hang out with him doing normal stuff, walking, eating lunch together, watching a movie together, and always wondering if you are doing anything that he is picking up on as being in love with him. You get paranoid about looking at him too often, thinking it would scare him away as a friend, any gesture or words you speak, you would be self scrutinizing, wondering how it will affect him. SO basically, the easy camaraderie you had before with him is gone. All this detail, in thinking out how you would feel and react if it was happening to you will help you understand why your friend is angry and not willing to get back together as friends, because if you did your imagining correctly, you would already know that it would be impossible to regain something that was false before, he was not your best friend only, he was a hopeful that one day he could be your sweetheart as well.

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