|
Dad issues
I’m 16 and my dad has always been my idol. My mom went on vacation for a month with my sister (12 years) and my dad misses them but he doesn’t want them to come back. He asked my mom to come a week early but my mom said I because my grandma recently died. My dad decided to extend her ticket to two extra months. He said that since she loves her family so much she doesn’t love me anymore ( which I don’t believe) and that’s why she is staying extra long. I told him that my sister will be missing a ton of school but he’s not listening. When I confronted him he said he’s just joking but when I told my mom to screenshot what he said, he said that she can go find another man to live with and love because I can’t live with you anymore. I don’t know what to do
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
every family have its problem, especially when its after 16 year of married
one of the keys to continue with successful married are the kids.
the first point is your parents love you and your sister so much, and they will do anything you make you both happy
i think you cant imagine your your life without your father or your mother beside you
u should talk to both of them, and tell them that maybe they have problems " and it happens in most of the houses " they must solve this problems, " why they must " for their kids, for you and your sister, they must stay beside you
so the end of the path will not be the divorce
The most important thing that u must talk, you must tell them how important to you that they stay together
i cant say if its right or wrong that your dad extended the ticket, and what is the purpose of your mother vacation, because their is so much missing details, but the one can force them to calm their self and solve their problems are you and your sister
they should feel that they are forced to fix this for you
and even if you think some one is right and someone is wrong, dont take a side, talk with both of them, and tell them what you really feel
" i dont know what is happening in your home ", and how the relation between them, are they fighting all the time or what
but what i understand that you know their is problem, and you wanna solve
tell them that you need them together, you need their support together, every family face its own problem, maybe the problem is complicated and huge, but their is always solution
and the first step to solve their problem
is to know how much you care about them being to together
]
Since she went to this vacation on her own. I would imagine that maybe things aren't great. Unless of course, he couldn't get time off work.
Things can be complicated and things are probably going on that you don't know about and they don't
want to tell you.
Sometimes some time apart can help bring things into perspective and can be good for the relationship or help define it.
You should not pick sides and realize that they both love you and that it has nothing to do with you. Sometimes people just drift apart, maybe one more than the other. Maybe he is depressed and really believes that. If she really did still love him like she used to, I think she would make a bigger effort to demonstrate that. But ,like I said, things can be pretty complicated and you don't see the whole picture. You shouldn't assume anything. Just love them the same as you always have. Support and show your dad some love and appreciation now that he is down and you're the only one with him right now. But you shouldn't try to force anything from either of them. You might accidentally make things worse by trying to make things better.
]
I want to be sure I understand what you are saying. I get the part about Mom on vacation and visiting relatives and needing to stay longer because her own Mom just died. That actually happened to My Mother. She went to Germany to visit relatives when I was your age, While there, her Mom died and there were sibling fights so she was left to be only one willing to put together a funeral/memorial.
I will paste in the parts that were not clear and what I hope they mean.
"my dad misses them but he doesn’t want them to come back" (If you miss a person, then you can't wait for them to come back. So whatever he said about not wanting them back, is because he is dis
appointed and thinking only of himself, not what your Mom needs.)
"My dad decided to extend her ticket to two extra months" (extending her ticket is a big thing. It shows that in some way he really does care about what happened. Its just that he is disappointed, expecting her back a certain day cus he misses and loves your Mom but now he has to wait longer)
"He said that since she loves her family so much she doesn’t love me anymore" ( Either the 'me' was him speaking of himself, saying the wife didn't love him anymore because she is wanting to stay for a funeral or he was saying it meant Mom doesn't love you her teen child. The last part didn't make sense so I am going with him saying his wife doesn't love him anymore. And that dear would be a childish statement, from an adult acting like a child when disappointed, by saying stuff that isn't true and blowing things out of proportion, like when a Doctor had to drain pus out from under a finger nail when I was 5 and I told everyone afterward that he cut off a part of my finger.)
"When I confronted him he said he’s just joking" (Ah, now we see a bit of adult maturity. He saw what his pessimistic dramatic, pity party statements were doing to you, so he quickly assured you he was joking)
"he said that she can go find another man to live with and love because I can’t live with you anymore." (Not sure what you meant to say. It could mean he wants her to find another man so he can be single and he also doesn't like living with you and is tired of it. If he meant the I in I can't live . .. is himself, then who is the 'you'? Did you mean to say 'her' as in he doesn't want to live with his wife anymore because of an extended trip with good reason? I am going to guess that because you are so alarmed that he seems to be hinting at divorce.
Honey, if this is the only time he has ever mentioned divorce and they do not fight like cats and dogs, them most likely, he is so deeply in love with her, that every day they are not together, is pure torture for him. I know that kind of Love, I have that with my husband. And we do not like being apart for long. If we are, it drives us crazy and we worry for each others welfare, etc. The only issue here that I see, may be that he needs to grow up a bit more. Not all adult are totally mature as an adult needs to be. This may be his weak area. If I were you, I'd not worry about it. If he is so in love, he will want the romance and time alone with her, okay I'll say it, sex. So if you are too worried that you are not at peace, you might get him started thinking about special plans for when Mom gets back. Although your sis will have missed Dad, other than the day she gets back and spends time with Dad, after that, sis and you should be out of the picture, sleepovers somewhere. And have Dad plan a romantic Day for him and her. This should get his mind out of the dumps.
]
More Questions: |