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I am a woman married from last 10 years. This is the only relationship i have been into, till date. From past 4 years my husband shows no interest in physical intimacy. I have noticed him eyeing random guys and making eye contact with guys on several occassions. He has never had romantic eye contact with me till now, I dont know if it is normal, as I have never been in a relatiinship before. But it do makes me feel empty, as other guys do initiate eye contact with me which I think is powerful romantic gesture which I crave from my husband. I have never seen him checking out girls, like other guys do.
I have confronted him with these issues but he simply denies of being gay, saying this happens in all relationships. But I cant go on like oldies without sex and romance. We are in thirties.
Pls suggest what can be done to clarify my doubts. Is he really gay in close?
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There is such a thing as being bi-sexual, meaning attracted to both sexes. I have met and known several women who were bi sexual. They were not attracted to men in general except for the one to they were married. So it doesn't mean you end up attracted sexually to many of both sexes. So it is entirely possible for a husband to be attracted to only one female sexually, their wife but attracted to many men. Perhaps how he was brought up or idea's he has of what is morally right, may keep him from admitting that he is like this...if this is the case.
However, you did say he is not drawn to you physically, no romance or sex so it can't be that he is attracted to men and just you. Perhaps he is still capable of being bisexual but simply with the wrong female. Another possibility is that something that was traumatic to him occurred 4 years ago and that is messing with his mind and therefore his ability to feel any desire for you. He may be able to say he loves you but for a man to be 'in love' with his wife, like any successful relationship in couples, there has to be two things in existence for it to work out in the long haul.Thats the friendship part which you may have and so he may feel he loves you, as a friend but not realize that the loving you as a lover is the other half of the equation and just as important. I recommend you both go see a couples counselor as this needs to come out and discover what he may be holding inside and not sharing or simply misconceptions but you can't really move forward with any hard decision unless you know there is absolutely no hope to rekindle the love and romance.
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