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How to deal with this person always asking questions?
I have this “friend” that every time we have an exam she’s always asking me questions like “what does this mean” or “did you study this” she’ll even go as far as to ask “where is our exam located?” It’s starting to piss me off at first I was fine with it but it seems the only time she texts me is if she needs help, sometimes I’d message her about anything and she’d either end the convo early or she’d see it and not respond. However, once it’s exam time or assignment time my phone is buzzing with her asking for help. When I ask for help she doesn’t know or she says “just ask the teacher it’s common sense” but if I said that to her she’d be pissed. Last year during exam time there was this one girl, I ended up redirecting all my “friends” questions to her cause I couldn’t answer them and guess what? That girl ended up blocking both of us on whatsapp that’s to show you how much she bothers people. Any tips on how I can deal with it? I don’t want to be rude but it’s just getting on my nerves now if I can figure it out myself she should be able to too
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Well, if you've already tried suggesting she asks teacher and she gets mad, I suppose you could always say "I don't know the answer, I guess I better ask the teacher" even if you do know it. Just say I don't know to every one of her questions.
If she still doesn't stop asking you or it occurs to her that this is your way of blowing her off, and says you are lying you can then admit it and say Yes, I was lying, would you care to know why?
Then tell her the truth, that you find her to only need you when it is exam time, otherwise, she is a friend you never hear from. You don't want to hurt her feelings but there is no way to hint that she stops pestering you for study and test help. Either she is truly having trouble not understanding, has some learning disablity or even a mental issue that makes it hard for her, or she may just be lazy and doing other stuff, not paying attention, etc. and if you or anyone else bails her out, that is called 'enabling her' helping her to remain stuck where she's at without learning to make changes in her behavior.
Another option is to tell her that if she asks you again for help and won't go to the teacher for help, then you will go to the teacher and let them know she needs help. No matter what you say or do, she will react by becoming upset or angry with you. That is something you can't avoid if she is the one trying to avoid dealing with whatever her issues are. She is happier remaining oblivious, not thinking too hard about what needs doing better, etc. When you won't cooperate, she knows her wanting to remain as she is without change for the better, is being threatened so she gets mad but remember, it isn't you being mean or such, she is actually the one with the problem. I had an ex like that. I know how it works.
I am guessing you haven't actually suggested she ask the teacher due to worry over her reaction. But it has to be done, she must be confronted in this way since she is someone you can't just get upk and walk away from, due to being in the same class. You could always block her. But if she contacts you in person, then you'd have to say something and tell her, I suggeset you go ask the teacher for help. If you ever ask me for help again, I will go tell the teacher you need lots of help so she/he can help you. Yeah, she won't like it as you are challenging her to do school some way other than she feels is acceptable. What she is doing however is not acceptable.
When it comes to talking to the teacher, you let the teacher know how often she is asking you for help, give lots of examples. Let teacher know you have suggested she ask them for help but she won't. You don't know if its a learning disorder or her not applying herself but something is very wrong and you'd like for the teacher to approach her and check into it to see what is up and maybe suggest she stop asking you or other students for help. It is the teachers responsibility to deal with it once advised of it. If they don't, go to their boss, the principle with it because you shouldn't have to deal with being pestered for help. If she gets the help or answers without having studied or understood, then passing a test doesn't mean she knows anything. The purpose of a test is to know if you are understanding and getting it, whatever you are studying. So to help someone who doesn't understand or is too lazy, simply makes their situation worse. Remember, it isn't rude to come out and make it clear if she doesn't pick up on hints or gets angry when you suggest her asking the teacher. The best thing is to not play games with her, lying or such, just make sure you've simply told her that if she does not understand or feels lost with the material, that she needs to ask the teacher. That way you can tell the teacher you suggested that but she didn't go ask. Also, I am guessing this person is not really a 'friend'. We meet co workers, classmates and such people are acquaintences but that does not make them a friend. A friend would not use you when its only convenient for them but not want to be a friend at other times. That is definitely not a friend.
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