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What did this person mean by saying this?
"Being everything but happy for someone when they share good news is a real sign of internal conflict. catch yourself when you’re getting around to that and pump the brakes."
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Maybe give some free advice about: What does it mean??
I will make characters in a mini story to help you see what it means. Sara is the one being told this by a counselor in college. She went home for the Holidays to spend Christmas with her family. She is the oldest and has a sister Megan who is younger. Megan surprises them all by bringing along another person, a male, introduces him as her fiancee.
Sara is shocked. Sara is in her last year of college and though guys have talked with her, no one has wanted to date her. She's never had a boyfriend. Her sister is turning 19 and is engaged? Mom and Dad are excited. Instead of being happy for Megan, Sara says everything but Congratulations, "I thought you said you would never marry young and wait until you finish college...what happened to that idea?" Sara gathers steam to continue, "You guys just said you've only known each other one year. You don't know each other well enough. YOu could be jumping from the frying pan into the fire! Heck Peter, you even told us you left your job. You mentioned a conflict of interests but how can you support my sister without a job. Do you walk away from all your jobs, finding excuses? Megan, do you really think he is all that reliable?
You can feel sorry for Sara just hearing her feel bad for herself and lash out with all sorts of feelings and nasty comments instead of being happy. But if you didn't really know Sara well, you might not know that she has issues and always has. Ever since her sister was born, she felt she had to compete and do better or do something first to keep herself in her parents hearts as their favorite child. She has always had self esteem issues and everyone in the family knows she is selfish but she doesn't think she is. Sara's need to compete with Megan her self esteem and selfishness are the internal conflict and the stuff she said was the sign that those things might exist in her and her life.
To catch yourself, means stopping yourself before you start saying and acting anything but happy and allowing yourself to feel terrible. The speaker may not even know this, but it is important to monotor our thoughts and if they are unhealthy, negative, etc a person should start looking deeper inside themselves to check why there might be reason for them to have these thoughts. Our emotions are linked to our subconscious mind. What ever we think about, our subconscious feels must be important and brings you more of these thoughts whether good or bad. PUmp the brakes means taking an action to stop your car or in this case, yourself, stopping yourself before you get started down the wrong track. Once you dwell on negative distorted thoughts, the subconscious supplies emotions to go along with the thoughts, postive emotions like happiness for good thoughts and jealousy, envy, anger from negative thoughts.
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