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Best friend never has time for me
I’m finding myself increasingly annoyed at my best friend and I don’t want to be because it’s not fair to her. I’m annoyed because she is almost never free and “booking a time slot” to hang out with her is often near impossible. She can only spend time with me on the rare occasion she is available which is usually a very specific window of time. We are both quite driven and focused on our future careers. The difference between us seems to be that I need my best friend and she doesn’t. She spends most of her time doing work and spending time with her family. Her family still rules her life (having to set aside an entire weekend for your aunt’s birthday??) but I admit it’s not fair for me to judge her or say she should live her life differently. I just find it somewhat condescending and self-important that she has zero time for friendships. She’s not a celebrity. She’s not working a high powered job. She is busy, as am I. But she also PILES things on her plate to purposely be busy and as we know, that’s not the secret to success. I’m just starting to find it all a bit flippant and uncaring. If my feelings of annoyance are selfish and wrong tell me and please help me find a way to work through them in a kind, nurturing way.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Think about how you need her hon. That is important because if it is simply because you are very social and miss spending time with her. If you have things in your life that are difficult for example where you need someone to talk to and get suggestions, and pretty much, you don't feel like a whole person and are relying on her to fill in those spots for you, that is not a healthy relationsnip. I don't think this is what you meant but I have to add it in case thats true because I have read many times on meeting your mate, that one needs to be whole before they seek a partner. A partner is not meant to be ones crutch or enabler and it wears on any relationship.
It may be just that you both are busy and she is on a different path now, not all the same activities and stuff to do that you both used to do together.
This happens for many after HS. You have a close friend and think it will be forever. But it happened to me too. My best friend moved with her Dad who had custody when he divorced and he took her to another state aa a young teen. Later she married, had kids, and worked several jobs, you know the usual for any person. And we lost touch. But time we found each other on Facebook, both of us had been walking such a different path with different life experiences that we no longer had the same interests, beleived the same things, and so on. I found there truly was little to talk about other than updates on our children or our siblings and thats it. It may not happen for you
If she is married, her first concern will be her husband and home and kids or future kids and that can take up most of ones attention and energy. I know this isn't helping other than to let you know this is normal. There isn't a solution to this ss far as I know other than acceptance of a change you don't like and moving on with your life, making new friends
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