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my friends
I know my friends care about me but they don’t show it. They leave me out a lot and kinda talk to me like shit. What do i do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I know my friends (should be changing to people I know and hang out with) care about me ( the definition of care about is unclear in my web search but I used to be a care giver for people in need like disabled and elderly, etc. I was taught that to care for someone properly that I had to see them as an equal, be kind to them and give them respect. This the closest I can describe caring that is not like love in a couples relationship)but they don't show it. (the reason they don't show it is because if they were jars they would not contain any caring. They lack ability to know how by choices of theirs or a crappy upbringing and family. If instead of a cookie jar with the words cookie jar on it, it was filled with dog shit from all the neighbors lawns instead of cookies, would you still call the dog shit a cookie? Just because you call them a friend, does not mean they will treat you like a friend should. People don't change their bad behavior to fit a title you give them. The crap continues.) They leave me out a lot (This is a good thing hon. This means they don't see you as being like them and that goes to deeper levels like ones conduct, morals, how they treat others, etc. and of course they won't want you around because you are a constant reminder to them of how they should be or closer to what they should be like. You are a nice person, they are not. This would be like a cop hanging out with a group of friends who thieves and robbers but somehow the cop hasn't realized that his/her friends are bad guys yet. The bad guys only pretend to be his/her friend but want as little to do with the cop friend as possible because they feel guilty and feel its too dangerous, they might get caught. Not saying your friends are candidates for jail, thats just an analogy to explain how like minded persons enjoy other like minded people. Obviously you are found to not be like them.)
And kinda talk to me like shit.(who knows what starts any one person to start talking crappy to or about someone. When young, teens will do it because they want to be liked and think if they do it, they will appear cool. It is not cool to talk trash to or about anyone. Some do it because they grew up in a dysfunctional home where parents and children all addressed each other by verbal insults rather than their names or use of endearments like sweetie, honey, dear. So if a kid has a Dad who looks at them as he comes home from work and says "How did my pile of shit brat do in school today? Such a kid will think it is normal. Sometimes, well often on sitcom families they are tossing verbal insults at each other with the recorded laughter played after each insult to teach viewers that this is supposed to be funny. It's not. There are probably a few other reasons, but trust me, it is not normal. What do I do? ( based on the fact they already don't see you as a rotten even person to hang out with them and when you do, they treat you like anything but a friend, I would have to say these people are not friends, just people you are in acquaintance with because they treat you more like an outsider or an enemy. You are with the wrong group of people. Now I know it is hard to start up finding new friends if lots of well established groups or cliques exist that frown on excepting anyone in. But in can be done. If this is friends at school or at work, then you may need to think of the larger picture, as to where else you can meet new friends. Try meeting new friends at the park, in your neighborhood, or join a club of an interest you have and met people who already have something in common with you. Staying with them because you currently have no other friends, is not going to make you feel any better when faced with being alone for a while and being alone for this transition time till you find new friends, but being alone is going to feel much less stressful and relaxing than staying. So leave them all. If they ask why, don't point out all their bad qualities or things they did as the reason, that will only gain you retaliation behavior. Just tell them that you have changed a lot recently and don't feel like you fit in there anymore. NO matter what they say, don't go back, just smile and wave good bye.
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