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I asked my friend out...
I have a friend and she talked like she likes me more than a friend so Saturday I asked her how she really felt about me during truth or dare. She avoided the question. Then yesterday I asked her how she felt again and she avoided the question. I don’t want to go out with her cuz I am still trying to figure out if it’s deep admiration for her or if I like like her but since she refused to answer the question I didn’t see another option. I asked her out and she said maybe. I don’t know what I’ll do if she says yes. What do I do if it’s just deep admiration I have for her and she says yes? I don’t want to lose her.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First: Forgot the idea of losing her friendship, this is not on your hands anymore. In my point of view, you should let things roll at the right time. You are friends, so you know what she likes the most. Surprise her, don't be shame or afraid of rejection (this is the most common thing in everybody lives). But at the same time you need to act natural, take it easy. Don't pressure her, just go trying to conquer her little by little. If it doesn't go well, try to look at others persons. Think: what made you like your friend? Of course, the intimacy has a good roll on that, the contact, the funny moments, discovering the best of her. Being that, trust me: you can have this with other girls. But this just needs to be thought before the concrete "not". Be brave and try. But don't trick yourself, a "Maybe" is not a "Yes". A silence is not a confirmation. If is just that what she has to give, so run! Don't accept alms. You deserve more. Everyone deserves. I will cheer for you, don't forgot to tell the end of this!
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She may not be ready to make such a decision, dating same sex rather than a male. She simply may not be sure of what she feels for you, same as where you are at. There are many kinds of love besides the love for a romantic partner. There is love between family members for example and another common one is love for a friend. Yes, all these kinds of love can have strong feelings attached and these feelings can seem the same or as strong as, or in some cases stronger than the feelings of love for a partner. The One big difference between the love for a friend and love for a romantic partner is the sexual attraction, otherwise the feelings can feel the same. So the question to ask yourself is if you have a sexual attraction to her, meaning you are sexually turned on by her and if not, then you are not bi, lesbian as far as she is concerned. You would know by now if you get turned on when you see sexy women in which case you are bi or gay. It doesn't mean you have to feel turned on and sexually attracted to your friend. Remember, it's personal taste as to what you will find attractive sexually whether men or women. If she isn't attracted to you sexually, then any of the overtures you are picking up on are only friendship. If you asked her out like a date, and she did not answer, then my guess is the reason she didn't answer is because she thought you were gay, she's not and thought if she said she is not attracted to you that way, that she'd lose you as a friend. When I was your age, gays were just coming out in media and the public getting used to hearing about them. However, I never mistook any female for wanting me as more than a friend, it didn't even occur to us. Yes, I saw 2 gay couples around school so it wasn't unheard of but people didn't imagine that any friendly overture was because the same sex person wanted us as more than friends. I think teens today read more into this, overthinking and guessing wrong and causing themselves more anxiety and worries and issues than need be. I am pretty sure this is what is going on between you two, a big misconception and miscommunication. So you need to have a talk with her. Let her know if you are lesbian or not. You are not if you are generally not sexually attracted to random females you see. Let her know you think you misread some things she said or did and that you don't want her to be afraid of talking about the subject for fear of losing you as a friend. You tell her that no matter your or her sexual orientation, that all you want from her is plain old friendship so she has nothing to fear. Once you have reassured her, she may share what she was thinking or her own sexual orientation and everything should go back to normal friendship.
Not related to your issue, but I want you to know for the future when you do choose a mate, any sex, that you can't rely on just sexual attraction. remember that person should also treat you as a best friend. Partnerships without one or the other will be rocky or break up.
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