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Losing best friend of 20 years
I found out about this last month and it’s still killing me inside. I turn 20 next year. My cousin/ex-best friend just turned 20 last month. We are exactly 2 months and 10 days apart. We have pictures together when we were infants and have always been inseparable. We both have always had trust issues, but she is the only person I finally came to trust. We opened up how we both went through depression and were self harmers. We used each other as support to help us through this time and only trusted each other. We also drank together and snuck out when we were 16. I just finished my second year of college and I’m in SGA. I helped out with the school dance and went with my friend Ericka. My ex-best friend helped me get ready. My parents aren’t fond of dances, so since I’m almost 20, I didn’t tell them. When she got me ready, she took pictures and I thought they were just for her. I found out later she showed them to everybody, and not only that, said one of my college friends gave me alcohol. My ex-best friend was the only one to do that, and this was way back when I was 16. She’s the one who gave it to me. She set me up and blamed my friends for it. I’m heart broken because the only person I came to trust, stabbed me in the back. I even remember telling her once that she’s the one person I probably couldn’t live without. I’m much better now, but some days are hard. I can’t help but to remember the good times. I now have many more friends I’m super close to, but I had to cut out my ex-best friend. I have a new one now and she’s had to go through betrayal as well. I still don’t know how to handle this though. 20 years best friends is a long time...=‘{
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
There's a say "Some people come into our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime"
I guess you can cross out lifetime with the ex best friend. It's possible that she was only there for a 'season', meaning your childhood and teen years basically. NOw that you are a young adult, perhaps there are things for you to learn and experience in adulthood that you couldn't have with her. There was no way the two of you would part ways so you could do this, make new friends to learn and grow as a person. So something had to happen to cause you both to part ways. Since she is also a relative, it might be best after the sting of the betrayal is gone, to try to be on a friendly basis with her for the sake of family at holidays and such. You don't need to be like before, just not hostile. Whenever two people are needing to part ways due to growth opportunities for one or both, something like this will happen. As long as things are good, they won't part. Perhaps in the future, looking back you will understand why it had to happen. This happens in marriages too. ITs goes as long as possible and if one is not learning how to treat their spouse better, then they must part ways. Many won't due to financial concerns and that is why I stayed 30 years with a verbally abusive man. Since he was the one who needed to learn the most lessons and wasn't improving, I had to be taken out of the picture. I wasn't going to fight violently with him every day so he gave up and granted a divorce, I am not like that. So the only other choices, looking at only what he needs, is for me to leave either of my own free will, without the divorce, or to wait and be taken out by an accident or by developing a disease. God told me that if I didn't leave within 4 years from the day He was warning me in prayer, that I would be dead. I wasn't going to wait around for that to happen. This of course is worst possible scenerio. Luckily it is not so for you. Now all you need to choose to do is think of this situation in a positive way. What good can you see possibly coming from this. Don't think of the negative of betrayal but what you stand to learn and how much you are now able to grow.
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