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Trying to move to California
Thank you so much for clicking on my question. I appreciate your willingness to help me sort through this difficult issue. I'm a 27 year old female. My family is basically like a cult. While I love them and care for them, I understand that I need to break free because it's not a healthy environment. I could go on and on and provide story after story. But, to make several long stories short, they have isolated me to a point that is unhealthy. At this point in my life, I have one friend, and now they've prohibited her from coming into the house because my grandmother had an "intuition." I live in my mom's efficiency. I don't pay rent, but I pay the mortgage of the house and all of the utilities. So, basically, my mom doesn't pay any bills. Her aunt pays her car. I think the only thing she pays for is her phone, which is like $50 a month. Unfortunately, I live in Miami. If you aren't aware, Miami has the biggest gap in the country between cost of living and salary. I'm a teacher and my salary is $41,000 a year. After taxes, it's about $2,000 a month. I have two other jobs: teaching english online and driving for uber. The cheapest apartment rentals are $1200 a month. I have tried looking for a roomate, but i'm really not interested in rooming with young college students who party/drink, etc. I know everyone is not like this. I KNOW. But, unfortunately, my options are limited because of where I live. This is a big city a party place. People come here to party and it's hard to find a roomate my age, as most people I know are married.
I have decided to move. I can't live here anymore because it's effecting my health. If my home-life and family-life was healthier, I would be able to stay with them, living in the efficiency, saving money, and then buying a house. But, the reality is, that I can't. I have gotten to the point where I've considered that living is not worth it. When I leave and go on vacations, I feel like a huge weight is lifted off my chest. I feel more confident about my choices. I'm happier. I don't feel like the impending cloud of doom is looking over me. I really want to move to Los Angeles. I already have people there that I know and won't feel totally alone... but I can start anew.
The issue is that because I don't have an address in LA, it is really difficult to get a job there. When I apply online, it always asks me for an address. I do have a friend who moved there and then looked for work. But, unfortunately, I can't take that chance because I have no financial help. My parents aren't exactly responsible with money and I know my mom will do everything in power for me to fail living there because they want me in the house where they can see me all the time. My mom has no life of her own. After she divorced my dad, she never dated, made friends, etc. So, she sees me as everything. Yes, it's sad. But, all my life that responsibility has been placed on me. As a child, I was the parent and I'm tired. I just want to live my life as an adult without the added pressure of raising another adult.
So, my question is.. how can I make this work? Any tips on how to get a job there before actually moving? Any successes with relocating for jobs?
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I am sorry to hear about your situation. That sounds really tough. I know what it's like to have a dependent mother. I have a lot of sympathy for what you are going through.
It's extremely courageous of you to try to move out. That is awesome and I agree it will help you. Although my situation wasn't as extreme as yours, I also had to get away from my mother by moving away. It was one of the best decisions I ever made for my mental and physical well-being.
Is there any chance you could stay at your friends place in LA for just 3 months while you job search?
Or if you are part of a religious community, it's a good idea to reach out to local religious communities and find roommates there. They tend to not be party people and have strong networks. I am a Christian and I know that a lot of pastors would try to help you in your situation, even if you are not a Christian.
Is there any chance you'd consider another cheaper city in California, around LA or Sacramento? I'm in Sacramento and could direct you to possible places to find roommates and jobs in the area, even though we are strangers. Feel free reply with some kind of contact email if you are interested.
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I remember your situation and am glad to hear you plan to move. I do not know if there are specific places to go for listings of teaching positions, but you should be able to ask around until someone can tell you what is best way to find a new teaching position. It is more important that you leave than where you go as long as the gap between earnings and cost of living isn't so big. So do your research on the states or cities that are best in that and don't just confine yourself to finding a job in California. Places where you already know someone is best so you can stay with them while starting a new job. However, you might also try to consider if there are hostels nearby where you can stay as long as you do your share of work to be able to stay for free and check on time limits. If you find a job in state or another area of your own state where you do not have s omeone to stay with during the transition, a hostel near by your work location might work out.
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I would say that now is the best time to act on your desire. Make arrangements with friends to stay with them for an extended visit. As soon as your school year ends be on the next plane to LA. Every school district in the country uses the summer months to find and hire new teachers. Being a teacher a credentialed teacher should make you more desirable and receiving a higher starting salary then a teacher just out of college.
Make the rounds of different school districts near where you want to live. Explain you are out there seeking a teaching position as you wish to relocate to that area, no cost to them. Have plenty of resumes and a cover letter to leave if an immediate interview is not available. In the cover letter state that it is your desire to relocate to that area. That you would like to do so with a teaching position to in hand.
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