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Why do I feel the need to change everything?
So I have had this ever since I can imagine and i never really paid any attention to it. I feel a strong urge to change things even if they don't need changing. Some examples would be my room- I move everything around like all of my furniture every week or so, my locker- I change it almost every day (stuff like how many binders I have or folders and papers I think I do or don't need) my backpack/ purses- the contents and different bags to organize things and there are probably a lot more I don't notice. Does anyone know what I'm talking about or have this? No one else I know does.
Just some background info: I am a 13 y/o girl who doesn't have control over basically anything in my life. (Parents take control over everything)
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It is hard for some parents to transition from doing everything for you and making choices for you to allowing an older child to young teen to learn how to make some decisions for themselves within reason. You mention not having control over hardly anything. That could be the reason you are doing this now if it's been fairly recent like the last couple years. Anyone reading that comment of yours would connect those dots and figure its because the changes you execute daily or often are the only ones you can do.
However, you did say also that "I have had this ever since I can imagine" That is not very definitive on a time frame. It could mean in the last two years which may feel like forever to you or you may have had this for way longer. If you have had this as far back as you have memories of your life, say Kindergarten or earlier, either you may have a brain that thinks differently or it could be some kind of disorder.
Right now, the best thing I can tell you is that if this does not interfere with your ability to do all the things you need to do, like attend classes, do all your homework, do whatever household chores you are assigned, be able to make and keep friends, then I wouldn't worry about it. When any kind of real disorder begins to interfere with your quality of life or accomplishing other things, other than the changes, then its a problem that a counselor should at least hear about and let them decide if you need some help, or what kind of instructions on how to cope with this. Heres an example, lets say that changing your locker every day makes you late to certain classes, then its a problem. If re-arranging your bedroom on a weeknight doesn't leave you enough time to get all homework done, then its a problem. I am not saying if it happened only once. . . thats not a problem but if it happens several times or repeatedly. If your needing to change things so often costs you friendship where others don't want to be around you when they learn this about you, then its a problem.
As you know, none of us are doctors or counselors. But I have heard of a disorder called OCS, obsessive, compulsive disorder. It doesnt sound like that if this is all you do. However, once kids start going through puberty, if there are anything odd things in their genetics, this is a time when they usually tend to show themselves. So if any such disorder is starting, it may be just in these couple areas, but if it grows worse as time goes on and you become obsessive or compulsive about many different things, needing to have steps that you c ome up with in your mind, that need to be done in order or you don't feel you can move on to whatever is next, like dinner, your routine to get ready in the morning, etc... then it would be best to talk to the school nurse and describe your problems. Tell the parents too if it becomes out of control like that so these people can get you professional help. Right now, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Yes, you are acting differently than most people. But right now from what you've said, unless you left out a lot, it isn't a problem.
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Your mind is just restless. You don’t had any control and you want to change the things you can. It’s completely normal!
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