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Social Anxiety is ruining my life?
Lets start off by saying I'm pretty sure I have Social Anxiety. It's not professionally diagnosed but I am 99.9% sure I have it. I can't talk to people, get really worked up in social situations, and have had minor panic attacks in the past. Tye reason that I haven't went to somebody for this is because my parents are anti-therapy. My mom only believes in therapy if you're addicted to drugs or suicidal, and my dad thinks therapy is a hoax. I'm 15 with no money so it's not like I can go see anyone. Back on subject, I have a lot of nervous tendacies that I think rooted from the Social Anxiety, such as me being too afraid to eat around my peers, biting my nails, and ripping my hair put when I'm nervous. I also chew on a lot of stuff when nervous. I have recently gone to my mother to seek guidance to my problems, and she said I just need to stop. The problem is, I can't just stop. The reason I brought up therapy earlier was because I thought maybe talking to so.eone professionally might help, but apparently a therapist is a waste of money and all I need to do is stop, and everything will be better! Why can't she understand stuff doesn't work that way!? My situation is getting worse and worse everyday and I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice?
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I had social anxiety as a child and teen but was never diagnosed by a doctor. Back in my time, it was just called shyness and like Adviceman said, my generation and parents were not big on running to doctors for every little thing. Home remedies and some basic common sense was applied and problem fixed in our minds. To a large part, I was the same with my own children, using only a naturopathic Dr. if immune system boosters did not help when they had a stubborn cold or ear infection. Most times, they recovered just fine. So I don't recall ever having to take them often at all. The worst case ever was a 4 yr old unable to tell me how she felt and it getting to high fever stage to take her to Dr who discovered a UTI/bladder infection quite bad.
I agree you do need to see a specialist. I had severe social anxiety but was cured by following a step by step program of things to do at a pace I was comfortable with, a list I got in answer to prayer to God. In recent years, wanting to have books to recommend to people like you writing in, I read one that had the exact same solutions to do as what I did when I was near graduation. It only took a month or two to be cured. I remember my last days of HS being so wonderful, able to strike up convo with other students I didn't know as well and wishing I'd known how easy I could be better.
I could give you that list, but the other things you mentioned have me suspecting it s not just a strict case of social anxiety but something more as I did none of those at all. It would take a specialist to help you. So if you have a church pastor, that's one more person you can ask for help. Some church's have professional councilling services if large enough. I used to go to one like that. You can't make your parents feel differently. SO it may take another adult talking to them to get them to take you for help, like a pastor, talking to school counselor who contacts them. But going to see your Dr. even under false pretences as adviceman spelled out, is actually a good thing if you fear bringing it up to your parents again and knowing it won't go anywhere. At least you could get in to see your Dr. and ask for the help you really need. If you run into any other adults who don't take things seriously, keep trying with new adults, perhaps a girlfriends mom you feel like part of their family. Confide in her and ask her to help you to get in to see a professional. I would think just seeing a school counselor would be enough to get you the help you need. But remember that school counselors see lots of teens with the common angst issues we all have, including myself at the age. And adults can tend to think its all blown out of proportion in your mind but feels that bad and so may not react favorably and just react more along the lines of your parents. However, he/she will know you are serious if you go in to see them several times a week with the same issue asking them to help and if they don't, ask to see the principal. Eventually you will get the help you need dear. Good luck.
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I use to feel as your dad does until I needed help. I will tell you why in a bit. The reason most of us my age and your dads age is we don't understand how therapy works. How does taking to someone fix something. Our Idea of medicine is if your bleeding you bandage it or if your sick you take a pill. Now there are medications you can take for the anxiety but it won't fix the problem.
I was involved in a life changing auto accident. I was stopped at a traffic an run into from behind that the impact was estimated to be at 60 mph. My injuries forced me into early retirement. I was not ready to retire and I actually loved the job I was doing. That was problem number 1. Then since I was driving a company car I had to deal with their insurance company and their lawyers, Workman's Compensation and their lawyers plus my own lawyer their everyone's doctors plus my own. During the course of all this something occurred that pushed me over the edge and I fell into a deep depression.
Fortunately my wife happened to work for the largest supplier of mental health treatment in the country. The doctors she worked for immediately recognized what was happening to me and while they could not treat me they convinced me to seek help and referred me to a psychiatrist and a therapist.
My first question to the therapist was how does this work. I still can't explain how it works but I'm here to day to tell you it does. I say here today because I was very close to taking a short walk in front of a freight train.
What I do know is you have to find the root cause of the problem. What I found out was what I thought was the problem was only the final trigger.
My suggestion to you is this. By law you are old enough to make your own doctors appointment. If you can get to the doctor on your own then do so. Tell the doctor what you told us. Then let the doctor call mom and dad and tell them you need help. They should believe your doctor. If they don't then you can ask for help at school and they will get child protective service involved.
If you can't get to the doctors office then tell mom you have a women's problem and need to see the doctor. A problem with your period or sever cramping. By law you can tell the doctor you are invoking the HIPPA rules which means mom can not be in the exam room with you. Once in the exam room you can explain to the doctor the real reason you are there and why you had to give a different reason to see the doctor in order to get there.
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