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Teen Pregnancy. Please Help.
I'm 13 years old and I'm pregnant. I don't know what to do. Please help.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Pregnancy?
Hiya!
Its okay, stay calm. Thats what matters right now. If you are sure that you are pregnant(for sure), then first, you need to consult with your parents or legal guardians. Tell them this. They can at least set a plan and comfort you if you do so have a baby. Now the next thing is, and there is no way to tell you. But there is no way you can get a abortion. Your going to have to except that your having a child. Its best that if you dont want the child, then you sign it up for an adoption care facility. There really is no way of getting rid of the child now. I highly suggest you just stay away from drugs, sports that center around anaerobic exercise, and live on a healthy diet. Away from most junk food.
There is no way I can help you. And I can't point you to anywhere to help you release yourself of the child. All I can prescribe is a healthy diet, and stay away from the things I mentioned, and anything that damages your body.
I wish you good luck. If you need advice on what you need or how to take care of a baby. Feel free to message me back.
-Dr.D
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Okay you’ve made a mistake I’m not going to lecture you on that. At your age you don’t have a lot of options. Of you were a year older you would but that’s not the case.
Before we go any further; how sure are you that you’re pregnant? Missing a period at your age is not unusual. If you have had unprotected sex and are worried about pregnancy that can cause a missed period as well. More women miss periods over stress about being pregnant than actually being pregnant. Have you taken a home test? If it was possible did you test again in 10 days after as many positives are false positives?
The first thing you need to do is tell your parents. Will they be upset, yes? Will they holler and scream; most likely it is a normal reaction. Why because you made a mistake that they could not prevent and now you and your body will have to pay a price for this in medical terms. At your age carrying the baby to term is probably not going to be recommended as it is not in your best interest to do so.
There are several different ways you can go about telling you parents. The first way is to tell them yourself. Of course this way is going to allow them to fly off the handle and maybe say some horrible things they really don’t mean. The second way is to ask your guidance counselor or school nurse to help you tell your parents. If they won’t help you directly they can get you help from Children’s services if you are fearful of telling your parents yourself. If you are so fearful of what you parents might do when you tell them you can also go to any Police or Fire Station or any hospital ER and ask for help.
After everyone calms down be prepared for this question it will be one of the first. “Who is the father and how old is he?” It is important that you tell your parents the truth about who he is and how old he is. The next question is going to be along the lines of did he force you. This is a tricky question as there is physical force and coercion as in a form of sexual harassment to the point you give in. Some boys especially older boys have a line that goes something like; “If you love me you’ll have sex with me.” This is forced sex by coercion. He didn’t physically force you but let you know either you give him sex or find another boyfriend. Boys that use line like that don’t love the girl they lust for them. Once they get what they want they generally move on any way. Also the boy is just as responsible for you being pregnant as you are. You did not get pregnant by yourself and he and his family need to share in the responsibility and the medical bills.
Yes you made a mistake but it is not the end of the world. You may not like the idea of abortion but if the doctors say it is medically necessary for your health. Then I suggest you head your doctors advise.
Your body is not ready to carry a baby to term and the complications can be life threatening to you and the baby.
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Hi Hon. You must be terrified. I would be too if this had happened to me. But what I do know is that you need 2 things right now:
1. You need support of adults, both your family, extended family and experts on counseling pregnant teens.
2. I can't tell you if the general rules of choices available to older teen girls will also apply at age 13 , so if carrying a baby to term is physically not a good idea as it poses health problems for you, then you may be advised towards abortion. But this is info you will need to collect among other stuff.
Do not wait to reach out and ask for help. You can only hide the fact that your middle is growing, for only a certain amount of time, eventually the parents will find out that way. However I don't recommend putting this off, no matter how much you fear their response, but if for some reason you do successfully carry the baby, after a certain amount of weeks pregnant, they may not do an abortion any more, considering you too far along for that option. So don't limit any crucial options by not saying anything.
Will your parents be angry? Of course they will. And they will be angry partly that you didn't make a good decision but parents get over that kind of stuff, how many times growing up do kids make bad decisions.
What will frustrate your parents most is knowing that their daughter can no longer go back to before being pregnant, that this will change your life and experiences, whether you keep, give up for adoption or get abortion. They will be actually doing a version of grieving, like people do when there are other losses such as a loss of loved one thru death, loss of a good job, etc... and there are many parts to grieving include anger, self blame, blaming others, crying, etc...
So don't expect the parents to be totally calm and cool. So if you want a buffer between you and the parents, it may be best to confess to a relative you are close to and trust to be fair and help you. Perhaps there is an aunt or a grandma. It would be wonderful if they are local enough to be there in person with you, however this can be done by phone calls too. The relatives may be a bit upset at the news too. But I know from being a mom and an aunt, that things that are happening to my niece or nephew don't emotional draw as much reaction as if it were my own child. It doesn't mean I don't love them, but that "mothers connection to you from birth" is a special one and Mom will always worry or react more regarding something with her own kids than close relatives. No relatives? Then think of a friend whose Mom is like another Mom to you and ask her to help you confront the parents. If you have a church pastor, you might call the office and ask to speak to the pastor, but may be more comfortable speaking to his wife, or any other female in a position in church who can alert the pastor to talk to your family. I know this is all scary.
I don't blame you for becoming pregnant dear. I happen to know that scientifically, the pre-frontal cortex of the brain is the last thing in teens to finish becoming fully mature. It won't be until mid 20s as all scientists have agreed. This portion of the brain is responsible for good decision making and ability to see possible consequences down the road. It is not mature enough to help a teen make the best decision. This is why even until your mid to late 20's, it is still a good idea to use certain adults you trust as a sounding board, telling them of your plans, asking if they think its a good idea. And if not, learn of other options. So without your "decision-maker" being fully formed and complete, you can't help but make bad decisions until you get older.
I don't know how open minded your parents are but I understood this fact and did some preventive talks with all my daughters. When they entered middle school already, I was letting them know what my wishes were for them and why but I was not rigid that it had to happen. I asked them to watch the other girls who always have a boyfriend and are always breaking up, and how that affects their grades because they are too depressed to do well in school now. I asked them to try to just have boys as male friends in HS and not date until they graduated. I also told them that although these are my wishes and rules, I do know that things can happen, they may meet a guy they really want to be friends with and all they had to do was invite him to come to our house when parents are home and her room door stays open, this way, she could still enjoy a bf but remain safe. I told daughters that if they got to a point of wanting to have sex with a guy and knew the draw was too strong and they didn't think they would be able to resist doing so, then to come to me so i could get her on birth control, and if the worst happened and she did become pregnant, she needed to let me know as soon as she did because I was concerned about her health and safety and teen pregnancies can have complications so I wanted her to be in a Drs care and have good check ups and for us to all decide what best options are and honor her wishes and make the adjustments. Very few parents even think to have a preventive plan in place. It wasn't needed though because each one saw the drama of dating in HS and chose not to until they graduated. I gave you the example of my attitude because you may want to talk first to the person you feel can handle this objectively and without a bunch of blame which right now doesnt fix the situation and only makes you feel worse. YOu can always tell the school nurse or school counselor and ask for their help.
But I believe your family should also know, this will affect them and since you are still a minor and they are responsible for your care, it still falls to them to take care of you. Not only will your life not ever be the same, but the same goes for them. There are movies of parents kicking their pregnant teen out of the house. But in my 58 years, I have only once known of a girl who was referred to our job for a family to take her in who volunteered, because her family had reacted badly and kicked her out. There are provisions for teens who do find this extreme becoming their situation and agencies who will help with all your needs.
Here is an article with teen pregnancy hotlines. I highly suggest you call these numbers and start asking questions, share what your fears are and find out how professional can answer that and also check out the teen line to talk to other teens about their experiences. You may learn quite a lot of what to possibly expect, the good parts and the bad parts. So heres the link. Hope this all helps dear.
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