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Please help I am 12 and can not buy a dildo


Question Posted Friday September 2 2016, 1:44 am

I am a 12 year old girl who can't masturbate and need help because I can't buy a dildo


[ Answer this question ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?


solidadvice4teens answered Sunday September 4 2016, 9:47 am:
I think the best thing to do is to have an open conversation and continued dialogue with your mother ideally or an older female you trust about masturbation and sexuality and yourself.

At your age it is pretty much a universal thing with both sexes or about to become one due to hormonal surges and puberty with masturbation.

It's something we all do at some point in life statistically but don't admit to or discuss out of stigma. Parents suspect that their teens and pre-teens are doing this or have learned about it through sex-education through school. Not all of them talk about it to their kids because of that perception but figure their child is likely doing it and that it's normal and covered when it may not be and questions linger.

The problem is that society equates this activity with sex when often it is not. It can be done at any age and may be just because it feels good, to relieve stress or for comfort or if toddlers and infants discover their genitals much like they would any other part of their body. Even if you were having racy thoughts it's all normal and par for course.

Your mom knows this and likely was like you but with less info growing up than kids receive today on this subject and sexuality. It would not phase her one bit if you spoke to her about this and sexual feelings that may go with it and increasing need to deal with them in a safe way.

Believe me when it comes to drugs, sex and other bad things you could be up to the fact you masturbate frequently and the method is the last thing she would be concerned with. I would leave the decision on whether you are ready for any type of novelty toy to her as the adult. You can't buy one without a person much older than yourself or 18+ for reasons listed in the other advice below.

It may be awkward to talk about it but it's to your benefit that she knows about this. You could have the same discussion with another adult female or someone in late teens about it as well but I think discussing all of this with her and if unable to someone you trust who is nearly or is approaching being an adult is best.

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Dragonflymagic answered Saturday September 3 2016, 12:20 am:
There are some girls wanting or needing to masturbate at much earlier ages these days. And so for you, it means no access to a sex toy store. The reason behind it is that xrated and porn movies are sold there and minors are not allowed to be in an establishment where such items might be seen by you. IT doesn't mean that a 12 yr old cannot have a dildo.
Just for clarification, masturbation isn't strictly putting a dildo in the vagina. Plenty females also have clitoral climaxs either by using their fingers to massage the clit or using a vibrator of some sort on the clit or in the vagina. So if you can find a sex toy in a store that doesn't sell porn, most likely you can buy one. HOwever thats kind of embarassing. So that leaves buying products that are not sex toys but might be able to be used as such. There is a good variety of body massagers sold in pharmacys to relieve tight muscles. SOme are big and some are smaller. These will not be made safe to insert but holding against your clit will be able to give you climaxes. I have heard of young girls using the vibrating toothbrush, without the bristes, against the vagina. Not sure how well it works but I can verify the body massagers do work as I've tried that. Other than that, if you wish to have a proper dildo, its best to ask a female relative who is old enough and with whom you are comfortable enough to ask, to go get you one. I understand how it can be too embarassing to ask Mom. However, if your Mom is an openminded person who has proven she has no problem talking about sex and is not embarassed about the subject herself, she may be very understanding and willing to get you one without any other family members ever knowing about it. Yeah, you dont want dad or brothers knowing about something like that. When my niece was your age, my sister quietly placed a vibrator under the covers of daughters bed when the girl was about your age, 13 i think and so no one else was the wiser. Hope you can figure out something by what I've shared. But be careful with a dildo, go slow, use lots of lube and if it won't go in easily, dont force it. You might have to wait another year or two for that. But there are plenty of nerve ending near the entrance for it to feel good. Your g spot is only about 2 inches inside on the belly button side of vagina and doesnt really need a dildo to give orgasms. Its that rough patch of skin which you can massage with your fingers to get a climax or just to feel good.

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adviceman49 answered Friday September 2 2016, 10:04 am:
There is nothing wrong with masturbation and I fully support anyone who does masturbate regardless of what their parents might say to them about masturbation. No one has ever gotten pregnant through masturbation. It is a safe and enjoyable way to lose the pent up sexual tension teenagers have and adults too.

At 12 years old you are a little young to be shoving things in you vagina for 2 reasons. First your muscles in your vagina may but be ready to stretch to accept a dildo a which could cause you pain. Second shoving a dildo in your vagina will rupture your Hymen. While your Hymen and virginity have nothing to do with each other I would hang on to it at least until you're 14 for it is one way to prove to your mother you are still a virgin.

At 14 mom can no longer, by a law called HIPPA, force you to have a examination of your reproductive system against your will. Write me back when your 14 and I will explain more fully.

For now if you are unable to climax clitorally then use your fingers in your vagina putting through the hole in your Hyman that allow menstrual blood to drain. But first try masturbating by stimulating your clitoris. Use the web to find out the best ways to do that. Just type Clitoral masturbation in to a search engine.

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