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Who should I allow in the Delivery Room?
Ok, so as a 17 yr old first time mommy, I was wondering what other people thought about his situation. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and I live with my boyfriends parents. My parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant and my bf is away at college. I have become super close to my bf's mom in the time that I have stayed there. Would it be weird if I asked her to be in the Delivery Room with me? My boyfriend and his family are the only ones that are supporting me through this and I feel I will need all the support I can get. I figured it might also be a treat for her as she only had four sons and this might be the only time she will ever be able to be in the Delivery Room for the birth of one of her grand babies.
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I think it is an excellent idea she should also be with you when you do you pre-delivery hospital visit. It is during this visit you will find out exactly what to expect during your delivery.
Many hospitals today have labor and delivery suites a large hospital room type setting where you can have a number of people attend the delivery not just your coaching partner. Still other hospitals use separate labor and delivery rooms with the delivery room looking a lot like an OR. In this instance only your coaching partner is allowed in with you.
Your OB may have privileges at different hospitals and would know which hospital has which type of system. Ask the doctor then see which hospital is covered under your health insurance provider.
FYI -Your parents may have kicked you out of their home but you may still be on their health insurance as changes to insurance can only happen once a year. If they elected family coverage last year during enrolment you should still be covered.
Also you can expect change of heart with your parents once you deliver their grandchild. Grandchildren make a big change in parents. They may be upset with you but they may still want to have a place in the life of their grandchild's life.
Legally your parents had no right to kick you out of your home. They are legally responsible for you until your 18. I realize you may be hurt by what they have done and I will not suggest you do one thing or another in regards to letting them back into your life or the babies.
I'm old enough to be your great grandfather and my only suggestion is you think about it, discuss it with your boyfriend and his mother; then make the decision that you feel is right.
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Other than hospital regulations, your the one who gets to call the shots as to who may be in the room or not.
Considering your family was not supportive, and there are bad feelings on both sides, it is not in your best interest to have your parents or even just your Mom with you. Since BFs mom is now like another mom to you plus she is one of the grandmothers, it is not odd at all to have her and the bigger issue is that you are as relaxed as possible on this special day. Having your family anywhere near you on this day will not achieve that.
Whoever else you may debate over having in the delivery room, you want people who won't lose their cool if they hear you or other birthing moms in the ward screaming. I remember finding it unnearving to hear other women screaming when I was doing my darndest to try to stay calm and follow the advice of my friend who was my coach and had taken child birthing classes, whereas I had not.
I would highly recommend your taking child birthing classes, even if you d ecide to not go batural childbirth. The thing they don't tell you is that any epidural shot to numb you insn't given until it is time to push. All the time of contractions beforehand has to be gone thru without pain medication so a new mom better darm well know how to handle that with breathing techniques and such. i never understood getting a shot to kill pain during the pushing. With 3 kids, there was never any pain during the pushing part when birth is immiment. The pusbing actually feels good and if at 10 centimeters and no complications, then you can push whenever you want to without waiting for the next contraction.
Even if prepared, it isn't the easiest ordeal to go thru and remember everything when you are in the midst of it and stay calm. My daughter hired a doula, a birthing coach. Unlike a midwife, they do not delvier the baby but help you from the time of your first contractions, staying by your side an a helpful calming influence. I was the birthing partner who went to classes with daughter since the daddy was on a ship at sea. When the time came, even tho I'd had 3 and stayed calm with each birth, I can tell you that as a mother, hearing my child in pain scared the crap out of me and I was panicking alot and if not for the doula who went with us to hospital, things would not have gone as well. So no matter if you are taking classes and have a birthing partner, they may even if relaxed easy going normally, and close to you as family, still have a hard time remaining calm and still being helpful. Just a little helpful advice to help being even more prepared. Good luck with the baby dear.
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If this is what you want then there is nothing wrong with that at all. I believe you are allowed 2 people plus your partner. Although you may have tension with your real mother perhaps extending the invite as a courtesy may help resolve issues there too. Bottom line it's about what you feel comfortable with and your choice.
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