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Did I Do the Right Thing?
This is kind of multiple pet questions in one, but the first is the important one. I have done something that I feel guilty about doing to one of my pets and although part of me feels it was the right thing, another part doesn't know.
I used to have a golden retriever named Buddy. I had him for nearly fourteen years and he was probably the best dog I've ever had in my life. A while back, he quit walking because he stopped being able to use his back legs. I thought it was just arthritis and took him to the vet, thinking he'd just get some medicine and we'd go home. However, the vet examined him and told me that he had a spine injury and his back legs were paralyzed.
The vet gave me two options. I could choose surgery where they'd fix his spine, but he still wouldn't be able to walk. He'd have to use a dog wheelchair (one of those things with wheels that fits around the dogs waist and holds up their back ends). The second option was to put him to sleep. I was told that he wouldn't be happy in one of those wheelchairs and his quality of life wouldn't be very good. I was also told that the surgery would be very expensive. Too expensive for me to afford on my own and there was a good chance he wouldn't survive it. Even if he did, an average golden retriever lives about ten to twelve years. He'd already outlived his life expectancy, so he probably didn't have much time left and during what time he did, he'd probably be very unhappy. That was IF he even survived the surgery that I'd have to borrow a lot of money from my family to pay for.
It was hard, but I decided to put Buddy down. I cried for months. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I still cry ever time that darn Marley & Me movie comes on TV. I miss him. And although I felt like I'd made the right decision at first, now I wonder. I feel like no matter what I did, it would've been wrong. I'd have either ended his life early to save me the expense of the surgery and him the unhappiness of not being able to walk any longer or I'd have kept him alive and miserable because I didn't want to be without him yet. Both decisions seem selfish.
He actually wasn't the first dog my family put to sleep. My parents put our doberman down when I was ten. That, however was a different situation. She was sixteen years old which was very old for a doberman. She was sick, had become very frail, and was going to die soon anyway. In fact, when my mom pulled up to the vet's office, she thought the dog was already dead. It definitely seems like putting that dog to sleep was the right move, but as for Buddy, I just don't know and fear I never will.
I was single when I put Buddy down, but now I'm married and my husband and I are about to buy a golden retriever puppy that we want to name Mose. I already have a yorkie, but Mose will spend more time in the backyard that the yorkie will. We know that golden retrievers don't like being alone for long so my husband wants to get another large dog to keep Mose company in the backyard when we're not home. We don't know what to get. We could buy one of Mose's brothers or sisters, but they're pretty expensive and I kind of want something different anyway. Breeds that are available to us that we are considering are a dalmatian, chocolate or yellow lab, siberian husky, or a beautiful golden retriever/irish setter mix (I know that's not exactly very different form a golden retriever but they're so pretty). I'm excited, but at the same time, I feel like I don't deserve Mose or the other new dog after what I did to Buddy. Mose will be the first New dog I've gotten since Buddy died and I feel like I don't deserve another dog.
So to sum it up, did I do the right thing by putting Buddy down and if not, will I ever stop feeling guilty for it? Also, if you don't mind, I'd like some insight on whether or not it's logical to feel undeserving of a new dog and if we do get another large dog for Mose, do you have any opinions on what kind we should get? By the way, sorry for the length of this question. I didn't mean for it to be this long.
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When faced with surgery or anything needing to put an older pet under anaesthetic, Dr.s are very un-willing because according to their experiences, a high percentage of older animals never come back out of sleep and die. I was faced with this decision several times in my life, each was different circumstances as to why anaesthetics were needed and the other option was putting the pet to sleep for good. While I have had many pets of all different kinds, the one that was hardest and I cried most over as a 40 yr old at the time, was the putting to sleep a guinea pig, the one pet I had bonded the closest with and we had a dog, several cats, hamsters and gerbils, and bunnies over the years. We were sad or cried when the other pets died of old age, but I think a combo of the closer bond combinded with the circumstances under which a pet must be put under is what makes it hard to get over. Even with loved ones who've died and passed on, for some time after, I always had thoughts that maybe I hadn't done enough to help Mom who died of cancer and Dad later from complications to strokes. I think it is natural to question oneself and feel guilty.
So now you question how good a parent you'll be to new dogs. Remember, its a new dog, they may never need surgerys, being put to sleep and just die of old age.
Since animals can't always understand things the way a human can, my guess is, since it was a settled deal with Dr. that the dog would never regain use of its legs, if it was a younger dog, I am for getting it the wheelchair. For an older dog used to a certain type of life, how can one explain that it must now use a wheelchair. Since a dog cant communicate in speech to tell you if it likes something or not, there was no way to know ahead if your dog at an older age would have even liked this change in life. Or if the dog would have acclimated to it eventually. We had a dog who began to claw and bite himself and try to aqueeze in tight spots in the house while we were away, like separation anxiety and tried all medications with the vet first. I tend to feel the dog who was fine for 14, 15 years just developed some doggy sort of mental illness as it aged, it would stare at something and shake in fear when for years it didnt, and there were no changes, other than my kids growing up and none of us were gone long. I was home before kids were out of school and then the one in HS was home before me. One medication had the dog so drugged it couldn't walk and stumbled around looking like it was totally drunk. It wasn't fair to make the dog suffer thru its fear and mental illness or to leave it so drugged it couldn't move on its own to go out to the bathroom or for anything, so we put him to sleep. I wish people had the same option to choose to die by being put to sleep if we get a really debilitating accident or a terminal disease that totally changes our quality of life and the hardships on ourselfs and others. I don't think you made the decision lightly. You didn't want to see your dog suffer. You can't know if after an expensive surgery, getting the contraption for your dog and training him to use it to get around that your dog would have been happy if it limited his chasing squirrels or other favorite activities. The dog after 14 years, may not have liked his life and just moped around. And keeping him around would've been just for your benefit, not for his best. In the end, you may have had to put him down simply to end an unhappy existance for him. Animals are like people there, some have personalities where they can learn to adjust and others don't. Then there are those of us who can't afford the money in no way shape or form to try surgery and such first. In this case, your only choice is to continue to let him live in pain, or put him to sleep. Putting him to sleep was the humane thing to do.
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