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What's wrong with me?
I pick at my skin. I used to pick at scabs, and that's left me with a lot of embarrassing scars, mostly on my legs because I used to almost always wear pants, and I didn't want the ugly scabbiness to be seen, but now, I'm nearly sixteen and I'd like to be able to wear dresses and skirts sometimes, but I'm embarrassed. I stopped because my parents made me. The process itself was very distressing- they always told me I'd have scarred-up legs and arms and it wouldn't look good- and it just made me very anxious. Now, I pick at my fingers almost constantly. I can't use hand sanitizer and lemon juice is painful, and sometimes it hurts just to get water in them. I can't remember a time not doing it. In fact, I distinctly remember a time in elementary school, I'd have to guess second or third grade, that I was doing it and just pulled off so much skin on my thumb that it kept bleeding for ten minutes, and hurt like hell. Somehow, I was more relieved to have it off than I was distressed that so much blood was coming out of me. I do it significantly more when I'm anxious or nervous, but even when I'm not, I still do it. During class, there I'll be, just picking away. I do it constantly without even realizing it. I've tried to stop, but I can't fund anything that works. I've tried nail polish, I've tried just "hey, I'm not gonna do this anymore", but nothing's worked. It's painful and embarrassing and I always just want to hide my hands away so nobody sees it, and I look at other people with pretty, un-picked hands and I'm jealous. And to clarify- I pick at the skin around my fingernails, like the cuticles, not the nails themselves. What's wrong with me? Does anyone have any advice, or even sympathize at all with me? Even that would make me feel better, to know I'm not the only one to do this.
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Hey!
It could just be insecureness taking over your body, or an obsession. I used to pick my skin on my face with tweezers because I hated my skin (literally), but with me, I stopped doing naturally, because if anything it was making my skin worse than it already was. But yeah like you, it sort of turned into an obsession, and I was also super insecure, so I felt better once I started picking. I think it's best if you talk to a therapist about this situation, because now that I look back on what I did I wish I had done just that. Try putting band-aids, and bandages over those injuries to a) stop picking, and b) reduce the pain. I really do hope this helps.
-Swimmer133
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We aren't professionals and neither are your parents. Picking at oneself is usually a nervous habit, boredom or something else to take your mind and thoughts off of whatever really does bother you deep down in side that you may not be aware of.
The fact you don't even realize you're doing it tells me that your subconscious mind is the one controlling this so the solution would be getting through to your subconscious mind and explaining why it needs to stop. Its almost as if with the conscious and subcon. minds that its like having two persons inside of you fighting each other. It is very difficult for any one person to simply have success with talking to their subconscious as if talking to a friend. I have done it in circumstances as a teen when terrified of going to the dentist and kept telling my subcon. that if wasnt time to get scared yet cus I wasn't at the office yet, and next, you're only sitting in the waiting room, so no need to be scared yet, and next, you're only sitting in the chair and no novacaine yet, until I had talked myself out of being fearful until the last second, right before they started working on me. But I at least knew what the issue was. For you, it could be as simple as something you heard or was said to you as a very young child that your subconscious took the wrong way and now its only release from what was once said that bothered it, is the picking. I can't say that for sure but there is certainly something going on there.
The cure? I have heard that hypnosis works well. Had a co worker who went to one after a mean coworker scared her at her restaurant job so badly she spilling boiling water all over her chest. She was jumpy ever after and it interfered with her ability to do her job. She went for hypnosis and because hypnosis is a way of bypassing the conscious mind and speaking directly to the subconscious mind, thats why it work. Another way would be to see a psychologist who can work with you to discover what the cause of your doing this is, and I want to be sure to explain that not all psychologists put people on meds and say they have some mental disorder. There are ones who prefer to solve issues using anything but meds first like Cognitive Behavioral therapy. I would say,You are not a candidate for medications form what you've said, but again, I'm no expert, just what I've seen in my life so far.
You can try talking to yourself, your subconscious mind as if it was another person inside you, ask its name or give it one. More success if you truly acknowledge it and learn to listen for thoughts that pop into your head with a name. Like mental telepathy thoughts with yourself but holding that silent convo with yourself. Tell your subcon. that whatever it was that happened long ago that made her so scared or nervous that she began to pick at skin and scabs, she doesnt have to worry cus you're now older and won't let anything bad happen to her. Tell her to stop the picking and that to help, you'll apply something to your hands that doesnt taste good. So if you don't like really hot stinging peppers, I'd rub the hands with it so that every time you go for your hands without thinking about it, your sub will be reminded by the nasty biting sting what shes doing and you can then remind her again to stop. Its worth a try. And heres a link to a product to stop the biting at nails
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
but it won't help if your mouth isn't going near the hands and just picking with fingers at skin. I have no idea what to do for that except something outrageous and very embarrassing, to wear rubber gloves on your hands to school or where ever you go during the day and just tell others you have extremely dry hands and are treating them this way. Let your subcon. know that if she continues to pick at you, that you will start wearing rubber gloves to stop her and that will be embarassing for both of you so you need her cooperation to stop. Maybe like a little kid given a new rule to obey who will test the parents, you may have to show your sub. you mean business. Instead of starting with school, put on gloves just to go for a walk, bike riding or to the store instead of school which woould be worst. As I said, its hard for people to work with their subcon. minds themselves and gain success. But if you want to try, it costs barely nothing. I hope this helps you. Since its a habit now for years, you need to get past a month of not picking to stop the habit for good. Instead of keeping your fingers busy picking, try somethinhg else to keep them busy. You've heard of worry stones...I hope. A small smooth stone you can handle in your pockets and keep twirling it around in your hand. I will keep my hands busy in a pocket with a strip of paper, using the one hand to slowly roll it into a tube and unroll it again and keep repeating. I've done that with ribbons on dresses too when younger. Sometimes, I think for me, It was a combo of being shy when younger, and the stress of that and also having lots of energy that needed to go somewhere, not ADD but having lots of natural energy that needed some kind of outlet while I needed to sit still so I also swung my legs or curled and uncurled them around each other. I still do this, not all the time, only when stressed and needing something as a small outlet for energy until I can get out and do bigger stuff. I hope this helps you dear. If you try everything yourself and still have no success, keep this to show the parents and have a good talk with them about searching for a medical intervention with hypnosis or a counselor.
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