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Strict mom
I'm a 12 year old. My mom is super strict on how I dress and she wants me to be all feminine (I'm a girl). When honestly I want to cut my hair in an emo boy fashion dye it black and wear eyeliner and black lipstick and band t shirts with skinny jeans and converse. But she wouldn't let me do that...I'm trying to convince her to let me die my hair black. I've just finished my first period, I can make my own decisions. I want to shop at hot topic but she says forever 21 although now we're having a blizzard (I live in New York) so that's out of the question. I want to cut my hair short to make it easier to manage I'm sick of it being long...how do I convince her?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Fashion and Styles?
Your mom is just looking out for you so keep that in mind.
Have a serious talk with her and speak nice and explain to her that you are unhappy and this is not you.
Maybe you can compromise on some things.
Maybe she can get you some of the clothes sometimes or you can mix and match her style with yours. Thats the great thing about fashion and you both may be pleasantly surprised with the outcome.
Maybe she wont give into all your demands but im pretty sure you will be much happier with some for now.
The key thing is to speak to her with respect and be honest with how you feel. There is nothing worse than "dressing the part" when you dont feel it.
Try to explain this to her in your own words.
Good luck! xx
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I am a mom to a 12 year old son. I think your mom is just trying to keep you from making a drastic change like cutting all your hair off and dying it black. I'm 30 years old and just dyed my hair black a week ago. My mom yelled at me over the phone. Its just a thing moms do. You need to sit down and talk to your mom, tell her why you want to go through this change. If you have good enough reasons she will understand. I don't think your old enough to make your own decisions about everything but maybe your hair style is something you should be deciding for yourself. Tell her you want shorter hair because long hair is hard to take care of. Don't act childish. If you really want her to take you serious you need to show her you can take responsibility for yourself and in a mature way have a conversation with her about it.
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The funny thing about us parents is we are a strange bunch. We have a tendency to forget what we were like when we were kids and what we said when are parents did to us just what we are doing with our kids now. Why do we do this one word, maturity? Like our parents we can't see past the look to see the desire to be yourself, so we use parental authority to demand you comply with our wishes. Are we right, probably not? Is there anything you can so about it?
Maybe but don't point to a friend and say but her mother lets her or you will get the mothers famous answer. "If her mother lets her jump off a bridge does that mean you must do so as well." Your 12 years old; as a female you could be seen as a pre-adolescent or even an adolescent by strict definition of the words. To mom you’re still a child until you turn 13 and become teenager and she may still see you as a child.
Regardless of what level of maturity mom sees in you it is obvious she does not like the look you want. Since it is her money that buys your clothing you have a tough road ahead of you to convince her to let you be you. But this is the road you want to go down if you want the look you want.
When I was your age back in the late 50's all the rage was a shirt like the early firefighters wore with buttons that went up one side, across the top and down the other. My father refused to allow my mother to buy it for me he thought it was stupid and it reminded him of the pants he wore in the Navy during WWII. My mother eventually bought the shirt for me but by the time she did it had gone out of style.
I remembered that when my son asked for clothing I thought was I will use the word ridiculous looking. This is what you need to do with mom. Try and get her to remember when she was your age and what the style was then. What did her parents say or allow and how she felt. I'm fairly certain if you can get her to remember she will remember her own problems trying to stay in style or be herself. I
If you can do this you have half the battle won. The other half is taking the style you want and changing your look a step at a step at I time. I would suggest the eyeliner first as that is the easiest and maybe you do so only for school to start. Next cutting your hair, first cut a middle of the road compromise cut to give mom time to get use to shorter hair. Then cut it shorter and shorter until you get to the cut you want.
Once mom gets accustom to your changing look she should be easier to get the cloths you want from her. Just remember we are older and change does not come easy to us as it does for you so take things slowly. IF you can do this I would say within six months you might have the look you want.
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well heres the thing ok. to HER your still very young. your not even in your teens yet, so yes for now from the sounds of it, she thinks she needs to do all the major decision making for you so idk if theres much you can do there.
what you CAN do, is start to slowly show more and more interest into the things you WANT to be into so that the changes for HER are gradual and not so sudden.
If you just asked your mom for ALL the things to just mentioned on HERE and you did it ALL at once, of course shes going to say no.
You have to SLOWLY start wearing darker clothes, with the clothes she buys you. Try to understand that you need to be patient with HER too. Shes got a child thats growing up, getting her period for the first time and this all might just feel like its happening way too fast. Now your over here asking her to change your whole style over night practically.
You may find that she can still loosen up a little if you slow down a bit and maybe when you have her take you shopping, you can still stop into the stores and LOOK at the places she likes, then tell her theres nothing in there you want and then take her over to the stores you want to go to and have her buy you something that subtle, not band t shirts, or anything like that yet. Just start with maybe a belt, or some small accessories....see where im going with this??
then when she thinks she can trust you more to be able to choose your own clothing without her there, you can go with some money without her and buy your own stuff. You can still look "dark and emo" if you pick out the right items even from places like papaya or those other stores that arent hot topic.....
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