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Having touble getting hard
My boyfriend is 25 years old (so am I) and we have recently started dating. After becoming sexual I've realized one thing - he's having trouble getting hard. We haven't had sex yet, well because he hasn't been able to get hard. We will be making out and he will be fingering me and still nothing. Last night he even tried to do it himself and it didn't work. It's frustrating for both of us but he says he just needs lube and he can get hard in seconds. Is this normal? I've never had this problem with past boyfriends. He said he swears its not because of me he's just always needed lube to get hard.
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No this is not normal for someone his age. He is in fact suffering from some form of erectile dysfunction. Just what my be causing this is anyone's guess. It could be medication for say high blood pressure. another cause could be low testosterone or anything in between.
What your boyfriend should do is see his doctor. If he is on blood pressure medication the doctor can adjust the medication or change it for another medication. If he has low testosterone that is easily fixed in several ways. A complete physical is in order to rule out organic causes.
If lube allows him to get an erection the go with the flow and keep lube in your nightstand. But also encourage him to speak with a psychologist about why he can only get an erection if he uses lube. There may be something he is suppressing that needs to come out and be dealt with so he can have a more regular sex life. Note I said regular not normal as using lube is not really all that abnormal in the grand scheme of things.
I understand this is frustrating for both of you. what he needs right now is your understanding and support. Not only is his libido harmed by this but his ego as well/ Having to admit to this problem even to a male doctor is going to be quite embarrassing for him.
You can help him by being supportive and offer to go with him to his doctor. Your being with him may make it more comfortable for him or you may even have to fill in some gaps for him. What ever is the cause of this problem I believe with your support it can be overcome.
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It's best to listen to what someone says to, especially at the beginning.
Right now, he says he needs lube, so if you want to have sex go and get some lube. You'll find out fast if he was telling the complete truth or if he has a situation he's not comfortable being totally honest about.
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Its not you. Theres something going on for him and though not many at this age have such problems, it is not uncommen and Drs. see young men often enough for this issue. The greatest cause at this age is not enough male hormones. Secondly might be any medications he is taking daily that hinder a mans ability to get hard.
If he drinks heavy to feel comfortable and uninhibited before sex, alcohol can tamper with ones ability to get hard.
Circulatory issues are another cause of the problem as well as prostate which are issues more specific to older men. Those are the issues of which I know and there could be more. So as you can see, the best thing is for him to see a Dr. so if its hormonal, he can be given something that fixes that issue. If its due to medication he takes thats interfering, then his Dr. will try him on other meds to alleviate this issue. The worst thing he can do is not go see a Dr. as any medical reasons will not go away on their own. The only other reason would be a psychological one, involving his thought life and since our brain is our greatest sex organ, it can definitely have an effect on a mans ability to get hard. Encourage him to see his doctor.
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