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How do I tell my parents I'm pregnant ?
I'm turning 16 in a month & I had sex with my boyfriend in the end of January. We used a condom but it broke & we didn't notice til after... Since then I didn't get my period on the date I was suppose to get it on which was February 8th. I thought I might just be a few day late but still no period. I've taken many pregnancy tests & they all came out positive... I'm so scared I don't know how to tell my parents they're going to be so disappointed & I'm scared they'll kick me out
Is there any advice from anyone's experience ?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Pregnancy?
I cannot tell you exactly what will happen when you tell your parents. What cannot happen is they cannot put you out of their home, that is child neglect and child abandonment. Both are serious charges way more than the fact that you are or may be pregnant.
What you can expect is there may be some screaming, lecturing, handwringing and mom may do some crying. You may do some crying of your own but try not to add to the turmoil by screaming back at your parents. Its not going to do you, them or the baby any good.
The next thing you can expect when they cool down a bit and believe they are of cooler heads is they will tell you what you are going to do about this. WRONG, THE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SAY IN THE MATTER BY LAW.
Since you are over 14 years of age a Federal Law called (by Acronym) HIPPA gives you total medical confidentiality over your reproductive system. This means among many things regarding medical issues of your reproductive system; your reproductive rights in this matter are also protected. Your parents cannot force you to have an abortion, stop you from having one, you do not even have to tell them you're pregnant if you can afford to have an abortion as you do not need to tell them. They cannot force you to keep the baby or give it up for adoption should you decide to go through with the pregnancy. These are your rights and they are protected by Federal Law.
Now back to your fear of being told to leave the house. Should that happen and should you feel that is the safest thing at that moment for you to do. You have options. You can dial 911 and tell the call taker what is going on. Officers will be sent to the home to check on your safety and explain the legal facts of life to your parents. If they feel you're not safe they will take you some place safe.
If it is not safe for you to call 911 then go to the nearest police or fire station, these are safe havens. Tell them you have been kicked out of your home and why. The police will as I explained take you home. IF they feel it is not safe to leave you their they will take you someplace safe until it is safe for you to return home.
You parent are not going to be happy they have no rights regarding your pregnancy but doctors will back you up. In order to listen to your parents they need to have you written permission and you cannot be bullied into giving it.
good luck.
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As your parents, they must legally provide for you until you turn 18. Anytime before is illegal and considered child abandonment. Read the law post regarding kicking out of kids and you'll see that they can't do anything if that's what you fear.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Now think for a moment how you would feel years from now if the same thing happened to you? Your own daughter becomes pregnant. Csn see you how they'd feel angry? Don't know if you broke dating rules or a rule of no sex til you're an adult at 18 but those are a couple reasons to be angry. Your parents will feel the same. Mom will be wishing that you had said something and confessed the day the condom broke or the day after so she could purchase the Plan B emergency contraception just in case, which in your case was needed. I assume you didn't think of taking that. All this is reason enough to be angry. They have a right to feel angry and then also to go through grieving the loss of your normal life, because no matter how good the outcome, having a baby to term or aborting it, all will be emotionally traumatic to you and what hurts you will hurt your parents. They will have wanted to protect you from this. So yes, they'll be upset.
However, I am a parent myself and I know that no matter how angry or how much I cry myself to sleep over what happened, in the end, I am still her mother and can't change my love for my daughter no matter what happened or what she naively did. If a parent can stop loving you over any,,,ANY incident that involves you, then they only thought they loved, for that is not true love, that would be conditional love, meaning they will love you only as long as you are the kid with high grades who never gets into any kind of trouble. That is not love. I don't know of many parents who are that messed up...there are some. Out of anger, they may say some hurtful things or make demands but when they have had time to get over the initial shock and dissappointment, you'll see them come around.
There is no way to break this to them gently. All you can do for an opener is ask to sit with both of them privately if you have siblings. Then start out with, "Mom and Dad, I did something really stupid, mostly out of being ignorant and now I'm in trouble because I am pregnant." I am not saying that having sex at your age was a stupid thing dear, but it's what you did to really be prepared beforehand and what you did after that will show the level of ignorance. I know sex ed isn't taught much anymore and most teens know as much or less than even you. You word it your way to acknowledge acceptance that you just plain weren't thinking by using some statement like that which means they don't have to go over and over that point with you. You truly weren't thinking to go to Planned Parenthood and get on the pill. Laws have been passed so that teens from about age 14 on can go there for any needed, contraception, an infection or some questions answered regarding anything to do with your sexual organs and the parents don't get to know unless you say so. Once the condom did break, you didn't think to go get Plan B, or as its also called the Day after pill for emergency contraception. It takes up to a week for a fertilize egg to implant in uterus at which time you actually become pregnant. Any time before, contraceptives can be used that make the lining of uterus too slippery for the egg to attach to...so it flushes out with the next period. I am hoping all goes well for you. But do not delay...the sooner the better in case you go for aborting.
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