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I don't know what type of person I am. Am I good or evil or just insane?
In my life I have never been what you would call normal. I have social quirks: I don't like looking people in their eyes, I move awkwardly, I take things literally, I talk to myself when I'm alone, I'm overtly sensitive, I don't understand all of the norms well and I perceive things differently. I have my issues, I get angry and I have known to tell or break things and hurt people's feelings. These outbreaks happen once a year. I have been perceived as a monster or a villain. Personally, I'm not innocent but I'm Christian as well and I've worked hard to control myself and not give up. I haven't killed anyone or anything unless you count insects and spiders. I haven't done anything that's taboo or horrible to people but over years I have given up to be normal and be happy. After one incident , in which I was perceived as bizarre and different I have become depressed and hopeless. I have lost a lot of things. I want to meet a psychiatrist but I'm not wealthy and I want it private. Is there anyone who can give me advice
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Any psychologist, or doctor, or medical professional you meet with is obligated to keep your sessions private. If you don't have a lot of money, it's possible to meet with someone and get a diagnosis, then use online tools as a way of helping yourself. I personally found this a lot easier, since I have a lot of problems sharing my feelings.
If you want my personal, unlicensed opinion, it's possible you may be autistic. The trouble making eye contact or understanding sarcasm/metaphors, sensitivity(particularly to sensory input like light, sound, smells, textures.), the trouble understanding social norms all point to something on that spectrum. I recommend you look it up, and see if it seems to work.
Good luck, friend!
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Don't let what other people think of you turn you into that person. You are someone they may not be able to figure out and that is why they call ya strange/different. It is on them not you.
My friend, we all have our quirks but why focus on the negative?
If you do not feel comfortable in your own skin (as they say) then you can look up MHMR and they will get you some help. It will not cost you anything. There is a lot of help out there for free but you will have to do some research on it online to find what ya want.
Don't sweat anyone's opinion of you. Just be you and be happy that you aren't easy to figure out. Who the hell wants to be like everyone else and "blend in" ? Noway, I know that I never want to blend in!
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You need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist if you want a proper diagnosis. Even doctors are not qualified to diagnose mental illness. If you cannot afford a psychiatrist or psychologist, try a therapist/counsellor. There are some places that are pay what you can.
All people have both good and bad parts to them. Rather than labeling yourself as good, bad or insane, try accepting yourself as you are and getting the help you need.
Oh and listen to one of my fabulous songs to cheer yourself up!
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Toodles,
Miss Piggy
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Im sorry to hear that you feel alone. Don't feel bad it's just "growing pains" it's hard at times growing up and figuring out who you are . Don't worry you'll find yourself. Being you is a beautiful thing. You just have to find things that you like doing to help deal with things. When I was younger I was very impulsive and angry. Now im not that way I think first and act second. I found hobbies. I like reading, writing, listening to music. These things helped me. At the times I felt alone. To me finding things you love to do is your own therapy and realizi that being different isn't always a bad thing. You are one of a kind, you should embrace that. Sometimes it's hard to accept/realize that but its true. I hope this has helped In some way.
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Do you feel that you are a good person? I think that who you are as a person depends on who you feel you are inside. This is also what matters.
It sounds like you should go to therapy, if you are having these issues. A therapist can help you come up with methods for dealing with these outbursts. Maybe you need anger management, which does not make you a bad person - it just means that you need to exercise more self control.
Are you still in school or do you work in a very large place? You did not mention your age, but if you are still in school there are usually therapists who work for the school. Also, some offices do hire corporate therapists. Perhaps you will want to look into these options.
If you live in the United States, therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists will not reveal that you are in therapy. They are bound by HIPPA, violations can result in the loss of their license or a fine.
If you are a minor they may discuss your sessions with your parents, when I went to a psychologist as a child he would constantly talk to my parents. I had issues with that, but as an adult I understand that there are things that parents need to know about their children. But all your conversations and your issues stay in the doctor's office. No one will know.
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