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std scare: Can a guy catch herpes even if you didn't have an outbreak?
I am a 16 year old girl, I recently had sex with a guy almost 2 weeks ago.. I have a friend who has genital herpes and I told her about it and she told me that she had sex with him a month before.. she's one of my best friends but she's also one of those people who has sex with people and doesn't let them know about what she has. She told me they used a condom and that she wasn't having a breakout at the time, so the question is there still a chance a guy can catch herpes that way? And if so is it high risk? I'm really worried because I didn't use a condom with him and I had no idea about them having sex until she told me when I told her.
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This is something I had to try find an answer for, for someone else as well and it took me a long while to be able to find the answer as most places were very vague about it.
In short, the understanding I have of this is that when a person has a breakout they are far more likely to be able to pass it on to the person they are with and even using a condom only provides partial protection because direct skin to skin contact is all it can take to pass this on - so a condom is not a guarantee that you will avoid it. However, there are less chances of catching it if it is when the person is not having a breakout.
I think the safest bet at this stage is to have yourself checked out because it is the only real way you will know for certain if you are in the clear or not. Try speaking to your doctor/GP or health clinic about getting checked out for it and explain to them what happened. I will certainly hope you are in the clear but either way please be careful and always use a condom. This is a prime example of how you just never know what the person could be carrying even without their own knowledge.
Good luck and I hope that you are in the clear but as I said above the surest way to know for certain is to have yourself checked out because everyone here can give you opinions but they will mean nothing until you know for certain.
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From eHow a Website that has answers to many questions. The URL for this answer is at the end.
When Can Genital Herpes Be Spread?
Sadly, yes, it is possible to spread genital herpes without an outbreak. In fact, the majority of people who become infected with herpes are infected during an encounter with another person who shows no signs or symptoms of an outbreak. While it is true that a person who is infected with herpes is much more infectious during an outbreak, he can be contagious without any visible symptoms. And, in some cases, a person may be infected without ever knowing it.
How Can I Avoid Contracting Genital Herpes?
The only completely safe way to avoid contracting herpes is through abstinence and through the avoidance of skin-to-skin contact with other people who may be infected. Since such measures are impractical for the vast majority of people, and since one cannot be entirely sure whether another person is infected with the herpes virus, safe-sex practices and common sense are the best means of staying herpes-free. Condoms should always be used during sexual contact of any kind, including oral sex. It's also important to avoid skin-to-skin contact of genital areas with those who might be infected.
What Can I Do to Limit my Chances of Spreading Herpes?
For those who already have herpes there are many things that can mitigate the chances of spreading the infection. Always use condoms during sex. It's important to treat yourself with anti-viral drugs such as valaciclovir at the very onset of an outbreak and to avoid contact with others at all times during an outbreak. Even though you can spread genital herpes regardless of whether there's an outbreak occurring, during outbreaks the likelihood increases dramatically. So, during outbreaks try to remain abstinent and to be especially careful.
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there are so many variables to this. I was tested positive for herpes myself though I have rarely ever had an outbreak, just a handful of times in my life. Husband supposedly a carrier too but never had one. So I read up on it a lot. From what I can tell by what I read, herpes can be passed on even when there is no outbreak visible. This is because the virus travels to the nerve ending all the way to the surface of your skin and there is a short period of time when the virus is there on the skin with no outbreak visible. You can catch it from the invisible virus sitting on the skin or from there being an outbreak at the time. Think about it, the outbreak is usually very painful if not extremely uncomfortable so the person having it is not going to want to have sex. The invisible catching period is short, maybe a day to two days.
Now here's another thing to consider, a person with oral herpes, those cold sores looking things, in or outside the mouth, can pass it on to someones genitals by giving oral sex if they again are at those transitional days right before the outbreak. Where ever their mouth went there is a chance of the virus settling in. Most often the virus will be somewhere on or near her labia or on the penis but it could also end up somewhere on the pelvic region, plenty area's not covered by the condom. The only way a person can know where their outbreaks will always be is by haivng one. the Virus travels down the nerve to lay dormant in the body for a while. Often, it is extreme stress in a person that causes it to travel again to the surface. My doctor says I likely rarely see any because I am not a stressed out person.
Statistics of people who did get tested for STD's including Herpes, have shown that the greater majority of people are carriers but have never had an outbreak. So its entirely possible to contract the virus and not know you have it and that is why so many people are carriers and assume they dont have it cus because they have never had an out break. The only way to be certain is to get a test for one. I discovered I was a carrier, when after my divorce, I thought it would be a good idea to get tested and screened. I found out from someone after the test that they don't always screen for herpes unless you ask, because so much of the human population are carriers. So I checked with my clinic, They had not tested for it so I had them do it this time, it came back positive. So when dating, I told everyone I met that I was a carrier. I think it was my fear of knowing that I was a carrier that stressed me enough to finally have an outbreak. There's about as much chance of contracting herpes as there is for a gal not using birth control to become pregnant, the conditions are right in both cases only for a short time.
Check with your local Planned Parenthood and see if they do screening for Herpes. I know most will screen for STD's but cant say whether they include that. You should get tested and so should your male friend, especially if you'd like to do anything with him in the future.
Now you know to use condom always in the future. It will lessen the chances of getting anything cus it covers the area where it's most often transfered. But most people are not comfortable talking openly about such matters. It would be a good thing to learn how to ask very graphic sexual questions of a possible partner. I hope this helps explain it a bit to you. It wont make you feel any better. Because there's no way for me to tell you for sure what chances you have of getting it, how high your chances. Do the research on line yourself. When you see the photos of outbreaks, you'll see they can be just about anywhere on the body. If the virus got transfered to ones hands and then another part of the body touched, it can end up somewhere else.
But don't worry about the invisible period for the virus being on the skin surface. It doesnt even travel there unless it is kicked out of dormancy by something, our immune system really worn down from another illness, stress, poor sleep or poor nutrition, all adding up to kick the virus into traveling up to the surface. The fact that so many Americans have it and there are even more who havent been tested, and none of these people ever have an outbreak tells me that being a carrier isn't the worst thing in the world. Most forget they even carry the virus.
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