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Can't reach orgasm during sex...please help?!
So I've had three sexual partners within my life time so far and not a single one has been able to make me climax yet and it's seriously frustrating! Yes I've tried having him rub and finger me, and even eat me out for a decent amount of time before having sex but nothing has worked :( it's not like I don't feel good because I most definitely do but I've never been able to get close to a climax. Are there any women who have had this issue? I've had orgasms before with a vibrator directly on my clit but that is the only thing that has made a difference. Could I have desensitized myself to sex? I can't keep having sex and not get anywhere it makes it hard for me to enjoy sex anymore. Please anyone who can help or give me tips, it's more then welcomed!?
Also any position suggestions for a women who doesn't like being on top but is tired of missionary...?
Thanks ahead of time :)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?
I think I can see what your problem is, not by what you said but by what you didn't say. Honey you can't rely on a partner to do all the work for you! You are obviously not able to bring yourself to climax either unless you have a vibrator! This type of sex relies purely on stimulation of the clitoris, it does not involve fantasizing and getting turned on first. No where in your post did you mention any type of fantasy life, alone or with a partner. Good sex has a lot more to do with the brain than the clit! You have to experiment (without the vibrator) by getting turned on with fantasy. Some women can even orgasm through fantasy alone. Once you find out what really does it for you, you can rely on these fantasies to bring you to orgasm with or without a partner. Women are not as visually stimulated as men so you may prefer reading erotica or perhaps you have a favorite movie star or musician you would like to think about having sex with(it's okay to fantasize about someone else during sex, guys do it too, you just don't want to tell each other!) Find some alone time with yourself and let your imagination run wild. Before long you will have a whole catalog of fantasy to enjoy and share with your partner. Don't worry about sharing your fantasies, men love this! Why don't you and your partner check out a few porn flicks and you might get some ideas for new positions. Vibrators are kind of like candy bars. There a great once in a while but you don't want to make a meal out of it!
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Hand the boy the vibrator?
The really is the most elegant solution, for for some women, is really is the only solution.
The simple truth is that many, many women cannot reach orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Contrary to what adivceman suggested, all orgasms are 'clitoral' in a sense. The clitoral organ system surrounds the entire vagina. Different women find different areas of the organ to be more sensitive (or more easily reached), but in the end, all female orgasms are linked back to the network of nerves in this organ, which is way, way bigger than just what we think of as a the 'clit'. The idea that there is any difference between a clitoral or vaginal orgasm is very old school - we've known better for quite a while now. It may certainly feel different, but it's the same basic physical function.
So don't pine over some mythical 'vaginal orgasm'. If that isn't the way in which you are most sensitive and able to reach orgasm, then it's just not, and that's fine.
Could you have desensitized yourself? Well, not to sex entirely, but you could have fallen into a trap where you've trained your body to only have orgasms under a really particular situation (ie, with a vibrator). If that's the case, your best bet is to mess around when you are alone, and not let yourself get off the easy way you know how. Get yourself a bit frustrated could lead to you being able to orgasm in new ways.
Finally, you've got to stop thinking of an orgasm as something your partner 'gives' you, or something you 'give' them. It's not a gift, it's a physical function, and in the end, it's up to you to know how to get yourself off, and to find ways to share that with your partner. If that means including a vibrator in your play with your sexual partner, that's totally fine.
Overall, orgasms are a very personal. There is one right way to get one. Whatever works, and feels good, and helps you feel most connected with your partner - just do that.
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I'll leave out the lecture on being too young to be having sex but that is also part of the problem. I will explain.
First you have answered your own question as to why you don't orgasm during coitus. You say it when you said, “I’ve had orgasms before with a vibrator directly on my clit but that is the only thing that has made a difference."
Women climax usually in one of two ways. Either through vaginal stimulation through intercourse or clitoral stimulation, which with the right positions can be had during intercourse? For a woman who is more clitorally stimulated she will not climax unless she can have her clitoris stimulate during sex.
Now here is where the fact that you and most likely your partners young ages come in. While I may be old enough to be your grandfather when it comes to having sex as a teenager I doubt it has changed much. Finding a place where you won't be discovered or a time when you can relax and take your time or even a comfortable place to have sex is hard. It is usually stolen moments where the boy gets all the satisfaction and the girl is left hanging as you are writing.
For the women who are vaginally stimulated slowing the boy down or trying to get him to last longer helps? You need to find positions where both you and he while having sex can also stimulate your clitoris. Look on the web for these positions.
Now I would not be a responsible adult if I didn't remind you to make sure he uses as condom. No excuses here. If he says he is allergic to latex there are non-latex condoms available. Beside the pregnancy protection condoms provide they protect you from many of the STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. It is for your own health protection that he uses a condom. No condom no loving.
You should also be on birth control medication. A Federal Law called HIPP says you are old enough to ask any doctor for birth control. You can go to any women’s clinic and ask for birth control and it will be supplied at little or no charge to you. You do not need parental permission.
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