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humorist-workshop
Roommate changed our diet, what do?
My gf and I got a new roommate because our apartment has an extra bedroom and it makes rent easier on us. He's a really nice guy that works in the area. He loves to cook. Since he moved in 8 months ago he has made breakfast, lunch, dinner and desserts EVERY day. He said cookings a hobby for him and its great the tastes are really rich. My gf and I both think it would be rude to refuse what he makes for us so we're eating all the time. He always insists that he'll take care of things like cleaning shopping and other errands if we try one of his cakes or pies or something. We both feel lazier and sit around a lot more now. Cant help but feel lethargic and we both agree the foods so good. And we've put on about 30 lbs each and we have to wear stretchy pants now. Even close friends and family have asked if we're alright...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Cooking?
I agree with Razhie; you have no one to blame but yourself. I think its wonderful you now have a live-in chef willing to do the menu planning, shopping, cooking and washing up. But it is not rude of you to sit at the table and refuse the high calorie deserts or other offerings. In fact after all this time it would be very right of you to say something to the effect, "Jim we love your cooking but it is way too rich we need some lower calorie meals in our weekly menu."
I taught myself to coo and I love cooking. My wife and cook together at times. When we do we turn out some really rich food. We have or I should say I now spend my time looking for just as tasty, just as fancy lower calorie meals to make. IF your roommate is the cook you say he is he should be able to do this as well.
You really have only two choices here. You either talk to him about making lower calorie meals. There is a method to making those same meals you have grown to like, through substitution of lower calorie ingredients, or you join a gym to work off those calories.
As a whole western society is one that loves to eat; for the most part we have grown so accustom to the abundance that we have grown seriously obese as well. It doesn't have to be this way. We can in a sense have our cake and eat it too if we do so sensibly. As I said we cook meals that are every bit as tasty and look as good as the ones he is cooking or you get in fine dining establishments, just made with lower calories ingredients. Another way to keep the calories of is to stop being a couch potato and get some exercise to work of those calories.
You have those same choices given your present situation. Don't blame the cook for something you can control yourself if you want to.
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What do you expect people to say? Take back control of your own life. This problem exists solely because you have given up control you should not have given up. That's the only advice there is to give.
You both think it would be rude to refuse? No. It's not rude for adults to choose for themselves, in their own home, what they are going to eat. You'll just need to be thoughtful, careful and respectful as you negotiate new, appropriate boundaries with your roommate.
That's not rude. It's hard work. Stop trying to avoid it, and accept that it will be difficult to change the current patterns, and that it will be even more difficult to do so while making sure your roommate still feels respected and appreciated.
At this point, I can't help but wonder if your roommate has takes a perverse sort of pleasure in fattening you up, but regardless of whether his intentions are truly kind - and not actually the behaviour or someone who craves control over others - it's time to put an end to them.
If you are't able to just rip off this bandaid and be clear with him about what needs to change, then start small, by managing your own breakfasts, or by going to eat out as a couple. Start asking what his plans are in advance, so you can have some input into them or tell him that it's too much before the tempting sweet it right in front of your face.
There isn't any trick to this tho. In the long run, both of you are going to need to man up, and take control of your lives back. I can't spell out for you exactly what the correct boundaries and agreements between you all should be, but clearly, this current situation isn't it.
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Just be honest and tell him that you need to eat healthier to lose a little weight so you would appreciate it if he would mind making some healthier meals. Its really your own fault for letting him just because he insisted on taking care of cleaning and shopping and stuff that's stuff you need to be doing too as roommates you should be doing half the work just come to an agreement and tell him that you will all take turns making healthy meals on if he continues to insist on making the meals than ask that they be healthy. Also its k to eat whatever as long as your exercising so maybe try working out or go for walks.
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