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why are some people so into their appearances?
Im 16/f and I do not get the whole fascination with dressing up, lots of makeup, dying hair etc. Like all the girls at my school are starting to wear these pretty dresses and doing their hair and they all look so beautiful..but its like i dont give a shit about any of that. Ive always been decent looking without doing a whole lot so i never really got into fashion or lots of makeup..I would like to tbh. Today i tried doing a smokey eye, and it kinda looked like shit lol. And i also tried looking up skirts and dresses that i could buy and they were all ugly and expensive. And all that stuff seems like a lot of work to keep up looking really nice everyday. I just dont get it, why is it so important? To feel good about yourself, sure but why else? I like looking nice but at the end of the day it doesnt really matter.. i dont wanna spend so much time on something that wont really get me anywhere and idk i just dont get it.
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Fashion and Styles?
At the beginning of this school year I tried to dress nice and wear makeup every day. The reasons I did it and why most people probably do it are because...
1. To feel good about themselves.
I used to feel really ugly so I did my makeup to look better and cover up pimples, stuff like that.
2. To fit in with friends.
My friends started to buy makeup and cloths that looked so mature. I wanted to be like them so I did it too.
3. To impress a crush.
This is probably the most common reason. I don't really know what kind of girls my crush is into but I think any boy would date a girl with a porcelain face with fluttery eyelashes in a cute skirt.
I have learned that I really don't like getting up early to put on 30lb of makeup of spending a months worth of allowance on one shirt.
I hope I helped!
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Actually I'm not big into dressing up either. I am a basketball player so I tend walk around in basketball shorts and a t-shirt everyday. And since it seems like you know you look good and your self confidence is great, you don't have to do all that extra. But if you're anything like me I like to dress up every blue moon. I say go to the mall in your area and bye two or three outfits. They all don't have to be dresses, they could skirts/ a nice top and nice accessories. When I was in high school I didn't know the first thing about make-up ( and I really don't now) but for benginners start if with the basics. Foundation, eyeliner, maybe mascara if you would like, and some lip gloss. You know you look good with out it, so just with this little bit you would be killing the game haha. But I hope I helped, because I'm a tomboy in college that still where's basketball clothes. But I still get hit on with my bball shorts, if that is more convincing haha.
Lillian Garvin
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I thought of the exact same thing back when I was in high school! I even tried going to stores and trying on the clothes girls usually wear. Personally, I did not feel comfortable wearing them. Haha. Unless, it's for a special occasion.
Anywho, you shouldn't be worried about anything. You just see things differently than the girls at your school. You feel confident without trying too hard with all the make-up and stuff. But for those girls, maybe they're insecure or maybe they feel like they have to prove something, that's why they put all their time and effort in looking good.
I also think that there is something beautiful about a woman who knows what dress or make-up looks best on her because it shows knowledge and self-respect. Nevertheless, I can say the exact same thing about a woman who can feel confident about herself without feeling the need to please people around her. It shows strength and that you respect yourself enough to know that you are beautiful in your own way.
It's rare that I encounter girls who think like you do on this subject. I hope you won't ever feel the need to fit in with the crowd just because you think differently. Have a good day. :)
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I don't get it either. That is basically because I am very busy trying to keep up my grades so between that and stuff I have to do at home I don't have time. But any way a lot of girls have self esteem problems. By putting on all that make-up and stuff they can feel better about them self's. Or they want to out do an other girl at the school. Or most likely not only is it the self esteem thing it is what every girl their age is doing. Sometime you just follow the crowd without really knowing why. Maybe some don't want to be called "weird" by the popular girls because you are not doing what they are doing. I think you have a good self esteem about your self :)! P.S. I know that some people think if you aren't acting like a girly girl with make-up and all of that they think you are a lesbian. That's fine if you are but if you not you might do it just for people to know you are straight. June
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I'm the same way as you are! While dressing up does make me feel good about myself and feel confident, I'm much more comfortable in a T-shirt and sweats. I'm also constantly changing my style, so people never know what I'll come up with next. In this society, we girls feel pressure to be noticed or fit in by having the latest trend in our closet, but I think having your own style (no matter what it is) is WAY cooler and much more fulfilling than dressing up to fit in. :)
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Ok... and i dont understand what your question is... I dont find anything wrong with not feeling the need to dress up and be all primped polished. I have never looked bad looking but while i was in school i never got the whole primped polish yourself just to do nothing, the reason most girls in highschool and school is to attract guys. I never started even cared to wear much makeup and dresses and what not until i was 18 and out of school. You have to be comfortable in your own skin regardless of what you wear or look like. Once all those primped polished girls are in college they wont care much about any of that, you are still young and have your own style be proud of it!
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I got one word that answers it all: media.
Some girls might have no money but spend the little they have on their appearance. Just remember that just like those cosmetics and clothes,they're skin deep and matter only skin deep. Some people like that in my high school got screwed over and where they are now, I think they are kicking themselves and thinking of all the things they bought in the past that they could've not buy to have that money today.
80 years from now on your deathbed non of those things will matter.
16 year olds going over the top wearing makeup in school makes me laugh. Who is actually purchasing those? Look at Adriana grande. She is twenty and she still looks 16. While other 16 year olds trying to look like they 26, just not right. Even the shows like gossip girl and 90210 that supposedly stars in high school, you should know that that's the opposite of real high school.
So you are exactly right. Feel proud that you are REAL. You should want to look the best you can, not looking like other people. A certain level of makeup is fine to keep a decent appearance but you don't need like you are going in the red carpet everyday at school - there are better things to focus on. That's how I met my boyfriend :) he stood out from all of those superficial beliefs and had REAL opinions just like you (boyfriends in high school I find were like the cosmetic appeal. Don't rush, it shouldn't matter when you have a boyfriend as long as you are with the right one).
So to finish off, I like the Youtuber called Themakeupchair. She has a separate playlist to organize just her beginners makeup tutorial and they really do justice. And for clothes, SALE SALE SALE! Never but for full price!
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Edited answer:
Rate me a two girlie but I've rated your question low aswell.
Because you're not asking for a piece of advice but people to tell you you're perfect the way you are.
Can't take people's opinions? Don't be on the site
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There are many reason people are so into their appearance. Vanity is one reason. Being so vain that one must always outshine all others is not good. At some point there will be someone else who will out shine them in a natural way and the fall will hurt the vane person in immeasurable ways starting with their self-esteem.
For girls your age one word, BOYS. They want to attract boys. Girls in their teens start to become self aware and as well as start to become sexually aware. This makes their appearance all the more important to many of them. This does not mean you are wrong for feeling as you do.
You are correct in your feeling that you should not have to wear tons of makeup and expensive clothes to feel good. There is nothing wrong for saving dressing up for special occasions such as maybe church, holidays, weddings or a family outing. Then it is nice to dress up and feel a little special.
There is one thing you do need to know about appearance. About 90% of the time you can and should dress for what makes you feel good and comfortable. The other 10% of the time it is important to put your best foot forward which means dressing to impress. While I agree with you it should not be this way there are going to be times when you will be judged on your appearance.
When will these times be? Job interviews will always be this way. In an interview you have a very short period of time to impress the interviewer. Unfortunately first impressions are lasting impressions. If you show up in torn jeans and a wrinkled blouse looking like you just rolled out of bed. The interviewer is going to hustle you out of the interview as fast as possible even if on paper you looked like the best candidate for the job. Conversely the least qualified candidate may get the job just because she showed up for the interview in a nice pair of
slacks with a nice blouse with her hair combed and possibly a touch of make up.
The same would be true for college interviews. Again it may not be fair to be judge almost solely on appears but unfortunately this is the case most of the time. How would you feel if you were the best student for a place at your first school of choice and found the opening went to someone with grades far inferior to yours. What would you be thinking as to the reason.
You don't have to spend a lot of money on designer labels. The knock offs you can purchase at Target and kohl's or even Wal-Mart are fine just as long as they are clean and serviceable.
I know I have been a little long winded and I agree with you we place too much emphasis on appearance. In high school the way you impress your teachers is through your grades which is the way it is suppose to be, by performance.
In the real world outside of high school appearance counts. High school is not just a place to learn academics it is also a place to learn how to exist in the world outside of school. It is a place to learn what looks suit you best. To practice the craft of appearance. It doesn't have to be something you do every day or spend hours on when you do. Frankly in the real world you won't have the time to spend. Neither do you have to spend a fortune. But you do need to practice and perfect putting your best foot forward to exist in the real world and high school is a great place to practice in.
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Us girls love to feel pretty. We love the attention that dressing a certain way can get us. Especially from guys. But honestly it is best to not get too involved in transforming ourselves everyday. You're right, it takes a lot of time to appear 'nice' everyday and tbh I believe its better to know that you're comfortable being yourself. I would rather surprise people on special occasions and have them see what sexiness I am capable of... lol.. than have them see me at a party and go ehh she already wore that last week at school or ehh she looks the same as always. L o l and anyways people get used to seeing a 'pretty' faceful of makeup and once they see that girl without makeup its like whoa you're not that pretty. L o l i dont know if you understand me but thats how I feel. Hope that helps!
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That is not a good There is no way to reasonably explain it so that anyone can 'get it'. No it doesnt make sense and it never will.
My take on it: The majority of people are followers.Always waiting for someone to tell them what to do, even when it comes down to something like 'personal choice'. Very few are leaders. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When some of the leaders are in a position in society to make their own personal preferences on beauty known, they also begin to broadcast it to the 'followers' as being the universal standard of beauty. But its taken a step further, it is promoted as the only way to look good, be wanted and desired, be successful, be sexy, etc...all for making money off of it.
Whats so crazy is that the standard of beauty changes through history. In the Victorian era, pale milky skin instead of a healthy looking tan was in. Painters of long ago portrayed women with smaller breasts and wider hips and rounded bellies. Without such a thing a C-section for emergencies, I think the look of a woman with wider hips had them thiThat is not a good nking she could give birth easily without any troubles. In more recent times, pin up models like Maa littlerilyn Monroe were hot. She looked big boned and had the big upper thighs and hips and some poochiness to the stomach. During the hippy days, I believe it was the Twiggy look, models who today would be considered anorexic but then was considered beautiful. If todays standard of beauty is sooo correct, then were our forebearers all wrong? This is what 'followers' fail to see.
Teens and younger woman are most prey to the beauty standards which are impossible to meet. Even the models don't look that good in real life. We now are being told that a computer generated or photo shopped person look is what we need to strive for. It's totally impossible to achieve.
Young persons have a certain level of unsureness yet about who they are, worry of fitting in and being liked, of being successful in life and they think how they look will solve all their problems. It used to be mostly females affected but now many young males are falling for it too.
The problem with going for one look is....that it is not going to appeal to everyone. We still all have our own personal tastes. Some guys like thin ladies, some like a more heavy set woman or big boned, Some prefer brunettes over blondes or redheadsh, some prefer straight hair to curly, longer hair to shorter, and shorter women to taller ones. Its all personal preferances. But what is the most sexy thing a female can wear is confidence. Dating coaches will tell you every time, that if one girl is fair on the eyes and confident over a non confident gal who has fussed with her hair and makeup and got boob jobs, reductions, botoxed, etc... almost all men will go for the confidence over lack of it despite the looks. A woman confident in her skin and content with her looks is the real beauty for men. I do my best on here to tell that to the girls who write in with issues regarding their looks or confidence.
Guys do like a woman to care about her appearance as far as being well groomed, bathed, teeth brushed, and clean clothing in good condition that fits your body well. They could care less about the style or who created that piece of clothing. Once a woman has a guy that accepts her as her every day self, then it is nice to show her special guy how much she appreciates him by dressing herself up a bit, a style of dress or lingerie that still fits your personality but is appealing to to him in how you packaged yourself.
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