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Communication with my boss
Hey guys,
I’m writing to you because I have some work problems and I could really use some advice. I’ve been thinking at one time to change my work place and try to start over because of these, but I really enjoy the job, what I did until now and there is a really good opportunity to grow so I would like to give it some more time.
My problem is my boss, or our relationship, or actually the way he behaves and the way I respond. I’ve been thinking about what I expect from a job and I have an idea but the problem is I don’t know how to get it from him.
So let me tell you about the two issues:
1. Asking for stuff from him. This is my main problem. The guy is really a “cheap bastard”, and every time I try to obtain things from him it’s a huge fight (even when asking him to pay some provider invoices is like I’m asking for money for myself). For example raises, every year I have to prepare psychologically and then for 1 hour or so negotiate with him like Jews over this (turnover doubles or even more every year, so there are clearly results we’re directly responsible for). The problem here is I have asking for things, I’m very independent and I’ve been accustomed to go and get for myself whatever I need, so it really frustrates me sometimes to ask and be refused/postponed/ignored.
After thinking about the job I’ve decided I need a new computer and I would like to attend some conferences yearly, but he is not responding to my requests, unless I go into his office and stay there until I get it he doesn’t accept.
I think sometimes it’s my problem cause other people have somewhat an easier time to get things from him (although he says I’m his number 1 employee).
I would like to know if you have any guidelines about how can I approach this so that I obtain what I want and maybe with less effort and energy consumption (this keeps me up at night sometimes; it really makes me feel a bit humiliated).
2. Critics. He is a highly critical person (a lot of things are crap, shit), we often hear that we have no idea what we do there, although we clearly do (of course we are not perfect, we’re 15 people striving to build a big company, we of course are in processes). He is very demotivating to me, I tried to explain this but he doesn’t change, I go on doing my job, but I realize he will never really change (for a while I really believed that better results will stop this behavior, but not). He starts obsessing over a process or something and then we have to all focus on it so that he stops complaining. Of course he sometimes is right, but we have our plans. I really feel he does not trust our judgment or actions. I feel useless; even though time has mostly proven me right (I’ve been working for 3 years here).
I want some advice on how to improve these, because there is a really good chance that we might get some stock options in the near future, which really is one of the things I’ve been working for, that’s why I don’t want to give up on this because of the behavior of one man. (the CEO but still one man)
Thank you so much for the help!
Julia
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CEO, 15 employees? Is it safe to assume that he is also the one who created this company? The owner/operator? If that applies, then what you are facing is the same thing a person faces when trying to tell a parent how to raise their child, what they are doing wrong with a child, how their tactics with their child are actually harmful in the long run for that child. This company is 'his baby' and he's not going to take kindly to someone coming along and telling him what to do, even its advice he didn't ask for. Few parents or business owners ask for help like that.
Since you insist on staying even though there is no guarantee you will ever get out of it what you are imagining will come your way, you'll need to learn how to act with him. Here's how to approach him. First, tell him you have an idea and ask his 'permission' to tell him what it is. Don't just start telling him. Thats a no-no and will make him shut down immediately to anything you have to say, even if its a good idea. Try praying and visualizing him being in a receptive mood and asking for your opinion. If it doesnt happen, sorry....everyone on the planet has been given a free will by God and has the option to exercise their will any way they see fit, even if it counter productive to their life, relationship, job or business. Try this also. Picture yourself starting a company of your own, it grows and you hire employees. You think you are doing pretty good but soon an employee walks into your office and just starts telling you what you need to do and change, tell him what you think you need. How are you going to feel, having someone lower in command have better idea's than you. Ones that will actually help. Most people have some ego and pride to deal with before they are able to do that. Perhaps that is where he is at. He may learn to change, but again, he may never change and he could actually in his stubborness to figure it all out on his own, run his business into the ground by a couple really crucial stupid mistakes. theres nothing you can do to prevent anything like that either if he's not in the mode of being humble enough, and doesnt take things personally. Then again, some of the things you ask of him may sound really good and important but he can not afford to get you what you think you need.
I had kids who thought they 'needed' Sketchers shoes when in high school. My budget couldn't afford it even though I had to agree they looked like great shoes. I offered them the choice of paying for the rest of the cost beyond my shoe budget amount. When it came to that, suddenly it didn't seem as important to them to have anymore.They went with a non name brand. Do you even know if he can afford another computer right now? I used to work in a small company a married couple started. Actually it was his but the wife began to work it cus he couldn't afford to pay an employee yet. Then it grew and they added one at the time. When he finally could afford it, I remember him buying the first computer for the office. Mostly for claim adjusters to look up comparable prices on items. Out of 6 employees it was shared. Eventually, they got two more. Those who were most computer literate got them first. Eventually as a clerk, I got mine last. It sped up our ability to do the work from what was once done by hand or typed on a type writer. Difference in my case, the couple were open to suggestions and knew they didn't know everything, especially nothing about computers. My boss made mistakes that I covered up for and took care of to help make him look good to those companies we were in contact with, even saying it was my fault. In return, if I made a mistake that got someone angry he would cover for me. His wife retired when she saw I was able to fill the role she'd done as his right-hand man, so to speak. I never made him feel less for being human and making mistakes or having a bad day, on pain meds and being forgetful. Try really hard to think of ways that you can find to do things that help make him look good to all the other and other companies you do business with. He'll be more likely to want to listen to you if you have that kind of attitude. I hope this helps.
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