|
sex for the 4th time still doesn't feel good?
so i just had sex for the 4th time and it hurt alittle but all the times i had sex didnt feel good even this one is that normaly also he makes me really wet but still dosent feel good
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?
I wish you had included your age as it would make answering this question more specific to you rather than a general answer.
Going by your topic; I would believe you are telling us that this is the 4th time you have had sex including the loosing of your virginity. The pain should lessen each time you have sex. If it is not then there are several reasons for this.
Depending on the type of pain you are experiencing there could be several reasons.
1)You're Hyman may not have totally torn and is still attach. During intercourse the pulling on what is left of your Hyman is the cause of your pain. You will need to see your GYN to have the remainder of your Hyman removed.
2)You are not completely at ease and comfortable with having sex for a variety of reasons. Fear of pregnancy is the biggest reason followed by not being comfortable where your having sex. Then the biggest one after pregnancy is being discovered while your having sex by one of your parents. This causes you to be uptight and will not allow you to relax enough to allow comfortable penetration.
3) You are having sex for all the wrong reasons. The biggest one here is; your boyfriend has said if you don't have sex with him he will find a girl who will. If this is the case then stop having sex with him. He does not love or respect you. I'm not even sure how much he lusts for you as much as he needs a willing vagina to get off in.
Now being really wet should make things easier as this is the lubricant needed for the penis to enter the vagina without pain. It is almost impossible for intercourse to take place without some type of lubrication, natural or artificial as a penis cannot enter without painfully harming the interior of the vagina without lubrication.
Part of the problem could be the boy. As boys we learn how to have sex or make love by watching porn movies or reading porn stories. These are not for education they are for titillation. For good sex there needs to be communication between partners.
By that I mean you two need to talk to each other before climbing into bed. You need to talk about likes and dislikes. You have to teach us how you like to be made love to. Young men/boys really have no idea how to make love. They do know how to get themselves of during intercourse though and this is where the problem for young lovers comes in.
The last write is also correct about the fact that we men also have very fragile egos when it comes to sex. We all believe we are the worlds greatest lovers. Fact is we are not, at least not until some women takes the time and has the courage to show her boyfriend how a women needs to be treated in bed so she too can enjoy the sex between them. Otherwise he is not making love to you he is using you for his own pleasure.
You need to talk to him and find out what he is doing or show him what he is doing that is hurting you. If it has anything to do with number 2 above then he needs to do something to make you feel comfortable and remove the fear of being caught.
If it is number three then I believe you should show him the door. There are other boys out there who will love you and respect you. That will not demand sex from you in return for their love until you are both ready for sex.
I also believe since you have recently lost your virginity a checkup with your GYN is proper just to make sure everything is okay.
]
Need more details, is he too big, to long, or are you drying out, all these things are curable. If he's too long, tell him to take it slower and easier so you can adjust to his length, if his member is too fat, tell him to go slower and give you time to adjust and use lubrication. If your drying out, use lubrication. If he is just overall being too rough, tell him you need him to slow down. Painful sex can get you drying out fast and in minutes he can be out pacing your ability to provide your own natural lubricant. Sex has much experimenting evolved, if your boy friend doesn't understand this and doesn't want's to work with you to help to understand your body, he would have to be stupid.
]
Patience, my friend! Can take a lot of couples a while before it starts to fire on all cylinders! Now you've told us it's not quite 'happening' for you...telling it to your boyfriend is of course a much more tricky challenge. Us blokes have got fragile egos, so you can't let it sound like criticism...or you'll spoil his day completely!! Feeling a little bit uncomfortable so early on doesn't really signify a major problem...you're ok there. He's getting you aroused and wet nicely...another box ticked! Try using your feminine savvy. When the bits that you really enjoy happen, or you feel it's promising...plenty of praise...tell him it feels great...and you could stand plenty more of THAT! No praise for the bits that don't do much for you of course. Get the picture? I know you ladies often think guys are a bit selfish when it comes to sex. But sometimes we're not getting it quite right because we don't quite know what 'right' is for you. And we can feel pretty devastated when a girl we're really keen on says it's not that good for her. So big-up the positives and you should get him going in the right direction. Best wishes.
]
More Questions: |