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Should I move?
About 2 years ago my mom and brother moved down south to live with my grandma to help her out after my grandpa died. I stayed here in NY because I wasnt ready to leave yet (friends, etc) and I was already going to college. I now have a job and still go to school 2 years later, but after visiting my mom I really do miss her and my whole family. I mean my whole family lives down south now pretty much. I live with my boyfriend up here but we're always on and off but I do care about him. And in NY everythings really expensive anyway,so I have been wanting to move down south. But, I think whats holding me back is the fact that I still do care about my boyfriend and all of my friends are up here. What should I do? Should I move down where my family is or stay here?
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0There is an old saying about the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. That doesn't mean you want to live on that side of the fence or living there will be better.
This is something you need to decide for yourself; unless you want someone to blame for making the wrong decision. In these kinds of decisions I have always found that sitting down with pencil and paper are always helpful in coming to a decision.
Draw a line down the center of the page. at the top of the page on one side of the line write "stay" on the other write "move." Now under each heading list all the reasons for doing so under each heading. When you have written every conceivable reason you can thing for staying or moving look at your lists. The answer you are looking for should be obvious after looking at both sides of the line.
If you are still not sure number each reason in order of importance on both lists. Look at the top 5 or ten reasons under each heading. These are your best reasons for staying or moving. Make new lists and with just these reasons and see if you want to move any from one side to the other. Hopefully you will know have your answer.
If you are still undecided then it is probably best to stay where you are until you can make a firm decision on whether or not to move.
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It's a difficult situation as you'll likely greatly miss being close to people whether you move or not, so I would try to take this feeling out of the equation and decide what you should do that would benefit your future specifically. Think about what you want to do with your life in the long run.
If you can do what you want to do in either place, maybe you should move. Afterall, there's no law against moving back if it turns out you were happier in New York.
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I would ask for a commitment from your boyfriend and tell him that you intend on moving back home as your family is there and you no longer feel satisfied in NYC.
You can always come and visit friends you have met while on vacation later on but if your gut says you need to be happy and finding happiness is with family than move.
You will eventually find a job there and a place in time. If this guy is just on and off again and can't commit to you and a desire to move maybe your gut is strongly indicating you need change.
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