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Cumming is hard, how'd people do it????!!!!! & why me?!
As much as i try to cum it never works, instead i pee a little. I get so fustrated!!! All i want to do is cum and what is really messed up i've seen other people cum like it's a hobby... Grrr... :( Will sombody give me some good girl cumming exlamation? Cause this not cumming thing is on my last flipp'n nerve!! Pls respond to this post as FAST as you can!!!!!!!!! Wait one more thing: WHY IS IT SO HARD!!!!??????
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Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?
Hi there. Hope you're not climbing the walls with frustration. There's no reason why you can't cum. Lets try a bit of biological savvy & a good dollop of positive thinking. What you're basically aiming at is gradually building up the tension in your pelvic and vaginal muscles until it's all released in a series of spasms. At the same time your brain's flooded with 'feel good' chemicals. Right? In this respect it's a purely reflex action, exactly the same as a guy ejaculating. So the more you put in as it were, the more you're likely to get out. Relax, lie back and use your fantasy. A favourite scenario, person real or imaginary etc. Really take your time. Banish those "it's hard and I can't cum" negative vibes. Or it will be hard, and you won't cum. Think "There's no reason why I can't...and I'm going to. Big time!" Of course the whole area is sensitive and responsive. So start off enjoying the whole area. But the majority of the most sensitive receptors, or nerve-endings are concentrated around the first inch or so of your front wall and even more so, your clitoris. In fact it's so sensitive that even rather indirect stimulation can be plainly felt. Possibly when you began self-pleasuring you found that crossing your legs and squeezing, or grinding against a pillow felt great? Yeah, it's THAT sensitive and it's the key to getting you to that delicious finish you're after. When you feel something promising begin to happen and you're feeling wound nice and tight, stay with it. Now I'm not saying 'fake' anything but this is the time to really let go. Initiate the things that you're wanting to happen, deliberately. Breathe hard and heavy, or 'passionately' in other words. Maybe tense and release your thigh muscles, or wriggle about a bit if you get what I mean. Get your whole lower body in synch. Really re-affirm your intent by actually saying "I'm going to cum!" or something similar. Do not underestimate the power of positive thought! This is maybe the point I want to make most of all. Women who enjoy it want it, believe they will and go for it. Just at the crucial moment you'll probably feel an intense urge to sort of 'push down' with all those important muscles, and quite likely feel as if you're going to well...pee! But when it occurs as a natural reflex response it is very unlikely that this will happen. I'd make a guess that you might be trying too hard to hurry that orgasm along yourself, and that's why you pee a bit, instead of cumming?? Still, don't worry about that, it's not important. Many of the same muscles are involved, and well... sex is pretty much concerened with fluids anyway. I'm sure the 'vibrator' option will occur to you. OK, they're very powerful ways of making virtually any woman 'cum' in the purely 'muscular spasm' sense. Most effective used outside, laid flat-ish along the areas we discussed and just more or less held there. But you wouldn't be alone in finding it a bit contrived, clinical and emotionless. Just a muscle spasm...like sneezing! Not very sexy or 'force of nature' at all! So how about trying the fingers, fantasy and positive thought approach first? Just keep affirming "I'm hot and horny. I deserve to cum...quite naturally...and I'm going to!" I'm sure you'll 'get there'. Work towards it, don't try and force it. I'll put the blokes side across. WE can't ejaculate (cum, spurt...whatever you want to call it) to order either, it only happens via stimulation and desire. Lot of girls forget that. True, it's usually a bit quicker, we worry more about holding it off long enough to please our partners before it's all over! Happy New Year...and hope cumming becomes YOUR hobby TOO in 2013.
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Sex like anything else in life is a learned experience. Men and boys learn about sex by readying men's magazines and watching porn then doing what they read about and see on the screen. Unfortunately not all women are a like. A small percentage of women are what is called clitoral in how they are stimulated. Meaning they need their clitoris stimulated more than their vagina.
Unfortunately most boys and men learn to stimulate a girls breast and nipples, and to finger a girls vagina to get them wet. If your clitoral in nature and your lover ignores your clitoris then you are going to take a lot longer to get stimulated.
There are other reasons a women has a hard time coming and they are more environmentally. First a guy can pretty much get excited anytime anyplace. A gal needs to feel loved and secure before she can get excited. She needs to feel safe in her surroundings where she is making love. Safe from discovery by parents, when underage, or anyone else, even children when you become parents.
She needs to be comfortable. Back in the day the back seat of the old mans chevy use to get quite a workout. The guys got off but the gals didn't always get off. A women needs a comfortable bed or sofa where she can relax and enjoy being made love to.
Most importantly is foreplay, which is why where love making takes place is so important. Women unlike men need to be stimulated. They also need to teach their lover how to stimulate them.
To do this they need to know their own body. This is where masturbation comes in. While masturbating you learn about your own body, your likes and dislikes. Frankly foreplay is nothing more than mutual masturbation. A recent survey showed the 85% of us masturbate; this would include people such as parents, friends and neighbors.
What I suggest is you go to your room. Close and lock the door, turn down the lights and put some nice soft music on. Then get undressed and get in bed. Start by letting your hands roam over your body to find the spots that feel good. Play with your breasts, vagina and stimulate your clitoris. Bring yourself to orgasm.
Do this several times over several nights then show your lover how to stimulate you and bring you to that first orgasm. Then when he enters you for intercourse that big one will come. When teaching him about how you like to be touched make sure to ask him about ways he might like to me touched.
Communication is the key to life successes. The key to a great sex life is also communication. Talk to each other and tell each other of likes and dislikes. Also makes sure your partner understands that NO means NO. Forcing a partner to do something they dislike or do not want to do sexually is Rape. Consensual sex can turn to rape just as soon as one partner says no and the other continues. Both partners have to agree to something for it to be consensual.
PS: Birth control for you eliminates one major concern that inhibits an orgasm and make sure he wears a condom as well.
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For some women, it takes longer to climax than others. Some women can climax within minutes, even seconds, while others have to really work for it, I mean, go at it for long periods of time. Have you ever considered trying adult toys? Such as a vibrator? Also, depending on what you're doing may also make it slightly difficult. Like climax, there are two ways a woman can climax, there's vaginal, where all you need is penetration to climax, then there's clitoral, where all you need is clitoral stimulation, *rubbing of the clitoris, or vibrator etc.* Here is a site I found, perhaps it can help you also.
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Also, there are creams, jellies, lubricants, whatever you wish to call it, that sensitize the clitoral area, making climaxing just a little bit easier, if not completely easy. Depending on your age, *I am assuming that you are 18 years of age or older honestly* you can also look at adult sites *no not porn*, but sites for toys, and the previously stated lubricants. If you're like me, *I'm far too shy to go into an adult toy store honestly lol* Shopping online is easier. You get a wider selection, and usually, you get a better price range. Here are some sites if you prefer shopping online.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
of course there are MANY more sites, but these ones I have found that they have reasonable prices, as well as a large selection. They are also discreet about their shipping. Instead of stating where the actual package is coming from, they label it as a different company, to ensure privacy :)
If you have no problem with adult toy stores, go to your local shop and browse around. Perhaps you'll find something there as well that will assist you in reaching the "mythical" female orgasm.
Every woman's body is different, all you have to do is find what works for you. It's not that it's hard to climax, it's just that it's hard finding what makes you climax.
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