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Boyfriend won't finish me.
So, I have a very healthy sexual relationship with my boyfriend, we have sex about 1-2 times a day. However sometimes we just like to engage in foreplay and we don't even have sex(Which I don't mind) However, I usually end up taking the lead during this. Though if he finishes he tends to just flip over and go to sleep after leaving me hanging. I've tried to stop pleasuring him and see if that would give him the hint to pleasure me for a while but that doesn't work, I've tried tons of things but nothing works. What should I do to give him the hint that this girl needs the same back?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?
My advice in any sexual situation as you have described is communication. There is no way any of us can know the needs of our partner just by engaging in sex. While sex is something that should come naturally to all of us it is also a learned experience.
Example: Men believe that all women are vaginal in their sexual pleasure. This is a learned experience for them from talking with their buddies and watching porn films. Fact: Many women are not vaginal in their sexual pleasure but are more clitoral. If you are one of these women how is your partner to know this if you do not communicate this to him.
One of the most beautiful things about sex is finding new ways to pleasure each other. This too requires communication for both partners must be willing to try something for it to be truly pleasurable. Both partners need to understand that "NO" means "NO" and "STOP means "STOP". These are ground rules that need to be discussed in all relationships.
Communication is the key to any good relationship particularly sex the most intimate of relationships. So talk to your boyfriend tell him that he is leaving you hanging at times. If you are resentful that he gets his pleasure and then turns over and goes to sleep say so. Also ask him to tell you things that would make sex more pleasurable for him. Exchange fantasies to see if you are both willing to make them realities.
Nothing that happens in the privacy of your home and bedroom is weired or strange as long as it is consensual to both parties. The operative word is consensual. Maybe you try something an you both or one of you don't care for it. Then you don't do it again. That really is the long or the short of it in life today.
Learn to communicate which also means to listen as well as to speak. If you learn to do this you will not only have a better sex life. Life in general will be much better.
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Could simply be lack of understanding. Guys can believe that a climax is 'essential' for them, and 'optional' for women, and in many relationships this can be the case. Mainly because a woman CAN enjoy sex/foreplay without reaching climax, whereas if the man doesn't climax it's a disaster. Possibly his previous partner was happy with this arrangement? Possibly he just thinks ALL women are happy with this arrangement? If you are constantly left 'hanging' as you aptly put it, it will very likely become a problem that goes outside the bedroom and into other aspects of the relationship. You'll feel neglected, ignored and generally an un-equal partner in the partnership. Not good. So it's a matter of letting him know that general conceptions or previous experiences don't mean anything, he's with YOU right now...and you DO need to come! Sort out the order too...guys quickly return to the un-aroused state after climax. He's gotta 'do you' first while he's still horny. After he's come you'll never keep him interested long enough to bring you off properly. Us blokes are a bit like that, it's a physical/hormonal thing more than an attitude problem really, so don't read it as boredom or lack of desire. Good luck.
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Solving this sort of problem may contain the solution to talking to him directly about it. I know it's not as easy as it seems but the sooner, the better so you can get over it and know what he has to say about it.
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Of the tons of things you tried, was one of them talking to him about it directly? If not, try it, if yes, he doesn't deserve to be pleasured ever again.
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