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I have never orgasmed with my boyfriend
18/f
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months and generally when we 'fool around' he'll finger me or go down on me. It always feels great but I've never reached an orgasm before and I always feel like I have to fake it because I'm taking too long. I don't want to tell him and hurt his feelings, but at the same time I'd like to reach orgasm! Is there anything that I can do? Thanks!
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?
Sex is like everything else in life; it is a learned experience. One way to learn about sex, specifically about what works for us and doesn't work for us, is through masturbation. When we masturbate we learn what we like and what we don't like. Then we need to teach our partner to do what we like to make sex better for both of us. By the way this goes both ways. Boys and girls both need to learn how they like to be touched and what makes then feel good.
As a boy I only knew that putting my fingers in a girls vagina was suppose to get her off. I married a women who turned out to be more clitoral than vaginal. Which could be your problem. Had she not loved me enough and trusted me enough to show me what worked for her then I don't think we would ever have married and been married 41 years as of last month.
No one teaches us how to make love. As boys we learn from porn magazines and porn movies. If we are real lucky a girl will teach us what they like. For the most part though it is a trial an error learning experience.
You may be more clitoral and need more clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. If so different sex positions may have to be tried. You can find these positions by researching them on the web.
First find out if you can bring yourself to orgasm. Start by going in your room and locking your door so you are not disturbed. Get undressed, turn the lights down and if you want put on some nice music. Then get in bed and make love to yourself. Let your hands wander all over your body. Let yourself find out what caresses feel good. Work your way from your neck to your breasts, nipples, down your stomach and finally to your vagina.
When you get to your vagina pay more attention to your clitoris and see if this doesn't get you to a climax. Use both hands if you want and see if maybe clitoral stimulation and deep fingering is what works.
Once you know what works then you can teach your boyfriend during foreplay. Sex is a foundation for a good marriage. Though sex is not all that goes into marriage. Part of the foundation that sex brings to a marriage is, trust and the ability to teach, share and learn from each other. If your boyfriend is hurt by, or unwilling to learn from you in this manner. Then he may not be the one you should look to to make a life and family with.
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