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Insecure ? Trust Issues ? Or does bf have a point ?
Okay I made it official with this guy june 18th 2009, last year which in fact was the eptimone of my naiveness, and I was blind to everything as a girl I was easily manipulated etc.. I said yes I'll be your gf on that day, and ever since then weve been really tight like best friends and talk to eachother about pretty much anything including what's considered cheating in a relationship and what guys want from girls .
He says that every guy just want to have sex as first intention and then theyll get to know you
I disagree example: someone hit me up that I knew in elementry on fb I said how are you doing etc .. MY BOYFRIEND GETS MAD saying theres no reason to write to him unless you really want to see how he is.. the guy prob. thinks he can get you etc....
another example: my ex hits me up on fb and this is an old old ex and says whats going on and i write whats up with you . Boyfriend says: why are you writing back to him theres no reason to write back to him, etc.. * BUT this was strictly mutual I will never cheat on my boyfriend ever, I love him to much and its morally wrong a huge downfall .
I just don't think I can take him thinking that I will cheat on him , idk if its because he's envious or overprotective but it need's to stop
also Ever since Ive been with my boyfriend my whole personality changed as in im not naive anymore i demand more as a woman etc.. maybe he still thinks Im the girl he first asked out ?
idk:/ its killing me I dont want us to breakup over absolutely NOTHING . over what I might do , or what might happen .
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I say you should talk to him, ask him why you can't talk to other guys and tell him that it hurts you because he thinks that you might cheat on him. That should resolve the issues, open communication is key.
I think your boyfriend has a point, trust issues and he is insecure. Your boyfriend has a small point, I mean some guys are like that, some guys just miss you and then there are some guys that just want to be your friend again. He may have a few trust issues, he may have had a girlfriend cheat on him in the past and that is what is making him so jumpy about you talking to other guys. Then there is his insecurity. He thinks you may be talking to some of these other guys because you are getting tired of him, which brings us back to the trust issues.
So just talk with him, tell him that you are aloud to talk to other guys, that they are just people, and that you would never cheat on him because you love him so much.
I wish you the best of luck.
xx
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I guess it's a little overbearing to have your boyfriend constantly think that you're going to cheat on him or something when clearly that is not your intention. It's okay to make a comment about writing back to your ex's but making an excessive point about it isn't right. My boyfriend doesn't say much about it because I guess he trusts me. There has to be a reason why he's like that. Maybe one of his ex's cheated on him so maybe he's a little worried that you might do the same to him. Hopefully, you haven't done anything either. In any case, you have to talk to him and tell him how you feel. I'm sure if he's still with you then he still loves you for who you are. People change when they're in a relationship each time so it's natural.
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My boyfriend is the same way. We live together so he watches everything I do (he's asleep right now). We've been together for two years and everytime I get a message from someone, a phone call, or a text he always asks, "Do you only love me?" insinuating that he's worried I might love someone else. Recently I sat him down and explained to him how crazy it sounds when he thinks I may be cheating or may love anyone else besides him.
The key to solving your problem is communication. You should sit him down and explain to him how much this affects your relationship. I'm sure he's not even aware of the fact that he's doing this. Look at everything he says from his point of view too.
Start out with something like, "As we've discussed, we are both very against cheating, and I really appreciate you for that. Lately I have been feeling a little pressure from you though, and I think you constantly think I might be cheating on you. This hurts me because I love you, blah blah blah."
This way, he realizes how his behavior is making you feel. Again, communication is key to solving problems in any situation. Let him know what is bothering you, ask him how he feels about certain situations. Remind him to be very honest because you really do want to make him happy and satisfied. Ask him what he thinks when you say hi to other people. Explain to him that they do not mean anything to you and you are just being curteous. You also have to ask yourself, "How would I feel if he were messaging an ex?" and if you feel comfortable, tell him why.
There is no reason for you to break up for absolutely nothing, but if you feel constantly watched and doubted, then that is something you may want to consider. Let him know how everything makes you feel, you both just need to talk about things face to face openly and honestly.
Good luck. (Update me if you have any more questions!) (:
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Not to be bluntly honest, but it seems like your boyfriend has some serious doubt about your intentions around other guys. A little jealousy is healthy; in my opinion, every guy should be a little envious inside when their girl is talking to a cute guy. But your boyfriend is blowing it out of proportion, to the point where your relationship might be in jeopardy because of his actions. There are a lot of guys in the world, and a good half of them are straight; there's no way you're going to avoid all of them just for his sake! The best thing to do would be to sit down with him and say you've been feeling really overprotected, and that this isn't the thing that you're looking for. You love him, but you love your life just as much, and you don't want to sacrifice friendship and freedom just so he can be secure. Trust needs to be developed here, at least on his side; until it is, there's a low chance that this behavior will ever stop.
My boyfriend and I, when our relationship began, had very similar issues. I probably didn't help much; I am a very openly flirty and loud person, not to mention I'm pansexual; My boyfriend saw the whole world as competition! But after a while, he told me that as long as I came to him at the end of the day and told him that I loved him, he trusted me enough to never stray. And I haven't. Actually, he's gotten a lot more outspoken and flirty himself with other people, which I think is a good thing; being open like that makes one broaden their horizons a bunch.
Anyways, good luck!
Hope I helped!
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