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orgasm
I can only reach orgasm (either from masterbating or oral sex) when my legs really straight, have lots of muscle tension, and are touching the floor. Ive tried to practice with them bent but I just can't get off that way.
It makes me sad to think I wont be able to have an orgasm during sex because i can't keep my legs straight and close enough together. My boyfriend thinks I'm weird. Is this normal? What could I do? Why am I like this?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Trouble Reaching Orgasm?
Is this normal? What could I do? Why am I like this?
You are absolutely normal. "Coming" isn't all that easy. A lot of women have difficulty reaching an orgasm these days. There could be many reasons: Stress, lifestyle, eating habits, spleeping deprivation, etc. Most sex therapists believe that if you can't climax (or don't climax easily) it's a good idea to start by practising on your own, which you have. You are definitely on the right track. You know exactly what "position" your legs must be in order to reach an orgasm. Once you have learned to climax easily, you can then show your partner exactly what you need in order to make you come. This may feel embarrassing at first, but it's important that you learn to communicate your feelings and also to communicate how you like to be touched.
Your boyfriend thinks you are weird:
The difference between men and women is that nearly all men can climax without difficulty, but women just aren't built that way.
Any woman can climax or have multiple climaxes if the circumstances of her life are right. And these circumstances usually include having a caring, understanding partner who is knowledgeable about sex, and who uses that knowledge to help her relax and to reach orgasm. The orgasm is a much more automatic response for men than for women. It seems that even though there are plenty of deeply caring and decent guys around, their ability to climax does not necessarily have to be linked to feelings of love and romance. Women of all ages tend to find that their sexual confidence and competence flower in a climate of appreciation and deep affection.
There's other options out there. Some women, incidentally, find achieving orgasm much easier with the help of a vibrator. But for many females actually getting hold of a sex aid that they can rely on isn't easy. If this applies to you, just know that several excellent online mail order businesses have been set up in the last decade or so that are run by women for women. Their sex aids really work. And it's a great help for women to be able to buy such things without having to venture out into some kind of seedy sex shop where they're surrounded by men, and often not very attractive ones at that! These online sex shops also sell lingerie, and erotic literature and lubrication and are equally helpful to gay and heterosexual women. I checked online and this is what I've found:
Gash www.gash.co.uk.
Sh! www,sh-womenstore.com.
Passion 8 www.passion8.com.
Tickled www.tickledonline.co.uk.
Emotional Bliss www.emotionalbliss.com
If none of this works, then I have to suggest to visit your OBGYN or even a therapist.
I hope this information helps.
Blu
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I don’t think you should worry so much, and don’t think your weird because of your preferences, your not one bit. I think I'd worry more about your boyfriends response to it being "weird", that’s a really invalidating thing to say especially being that its directed towards the female genitalia, which is farrrr more complex than that of his own sexes phalli. Women need to use different positions involving resistance, incorolation with skilled deep tissue message to have orgasm its unfortunate but its also nature. They have an incredible amount of nerve activity located in the cliterous that actually runs from the end of the pubis area down towards the start of the urethral opening, which isn’t even close to touching the actual vaginal opening that men use as their main source for orgasm. And whats worse is-- the fact that an incredible amount of nerves inhabit that area—its so sensitive it needs a “woman’s touch” (soft touch), as opposed to a males aggressive (sometimes painful) touch. It makes you wonder what gender is really supposed to profit (get off) from sex/intercourse/coitus, and which gender is supposed to lay down and take it for reproductive means. But like I said, women need more to get more, and I suggest either compromising with your bf to fit both your needs (even though he probably owes you a lot more). I started to get so sick of watching my guy enjoy himself, when I was literally bored—so I told him while having sex that “I’m going to “help” myself, do you mind?” Like most men, they aren’t aware enough in their efforts to pleasure you, and can even fail miserably sometimes, lessening your mood, so I took it apron myself to “message” my area, while we have sex. Guys actually like to see their partners do this, and they also get off more if their mates are enjoying themselves as they are. Also, another thing to keep in mind, and I don’t know how long you have been having sex for, but woman’s anatomy are really like that of wine. It all gets better with age. Sometimes the female genitalia hasnt fully matured enough to engage in the “enjoyment” of sex, rather then the motions of it. I have been having sex for awhile and noticed that it did get better through time. For example, the vaginal opening which hadn’t at all felt good during sex, unless combined with other things, starts to feel more and more as time went on.
Foreplay is extremely important to women, it helps relax us, getting us into the “mood”, as well as gains our subconscious sexual trust. If the guy wants to skip that or go fast through it, redirect him to fulfill your needs, not just his big headed friend down below.
I find it hard to orgasm unless I am on my stomach and the pressure is coming from behind, you need to be straight legged and tense, we are all different, just knowing what it is that makes us feel good—is exactly the answer---now somehow incorporate it into the deed. Good luck, hope I could be of some assistance.
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Well I really don't know, but there are a few possible possibilities. The muscle tension might increase your sexual arousal and you feel like you'd rather do as much of the work as you can instead of relaxing and letting him do it. You probably can get off the other way, you're just not used to it. You may think it's dirtier in your subconscious mind. It is a weird problem and I can't say that I really know the answer. Call that old chick on oxygen on Sunday nights. She'll help you.
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LOL, i'm not sure if its normal. Im no female. And i have noo clue why you're like that. But theres only one thing i can tell you. If your boyfriend thinks you're weird hes not worth your time. You are how you are, and if you cant get an orgasm from sex he shouldn't care. Ight take care. Peace.
J
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This is normal. Everyone has different ways to orgasm. All girls are different and there's nothing wrong with you, nor are you weird.
I don't really know what you can do. You could try having sex more with your boyfriend, different ways just to see if you can orgasm. Other then that, I really don't know what else you can do, I'm sorry.
You might want to check out this website, though: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) It might be some help to you. ♥
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well, i know this sucks, but some woman never do orgasm from sex. some woman can only orgasm from being on top and having some clit stimulation. or just masterbation. you are not weird at all because few woman do orgasm during sex. also, some woman cant orgasm until they are 25-30 years old. so try not to worry about it too much. and tell ur man to get over it and try some new positions with you until you can finally orgasm
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This is probably just a habit you've gotten yourself into. I used to "coax" my orgasms by standing on my tippy-toes or otherwise tensing my legs much like you've described.
I don't know your frequency, but try giving your sex drive a rest for a few days, let it build up a little. Try masturbating when you're really in the mood. Tense your thighs a little, but try not to "cheat" and use them for sexual pleasure. There are girls that can orgasm from squeezing their thighs alone. Not really a bad thing, but anything that becomes a dependency is a bitch.
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