|
My in-laws and their denominational dislike
Here's the situation:
I am a Baptist. My in-laws and my husband are Methodists. My husband and I attend a Baptist church. Under most circumstances, I don't pay attention to denominational differences, because I think we're all going to the same place anyway.
The problem is that my in laws, especially my mother-in-law, have made it clear that they don't like the fact that we're going to the "wrong" church. Earlier we even suggested that they could come to church on Christmas Eve with us, and my mother-in-law burst into tears and ran out of the room.
Evidently, the fact that I am not a Methodist offends them deeply. I don't want to join a different church just to please them, though. Any thoughts on what to do that doesn't involve hurting everyone's feelings?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Screw their feelings; they obviously don’t care much for your feelings. As many people often do, they are completely missing the point of religion, church, spirituality, Christianity, whatever you want to call it. For these people it is more about being Methodist or Catholic than it is about being a Christian. You could pray that your mother-in-law be raptured immediately NOW. Somebody give me an Amen!
First of all, you shouldn’t do ANYTHING to please that bitch who bore your husband. I’m sorry, but this is the most ridiculous thing I have heard in quite some time. I did not know the Methodists thought so highly of themselves versus the other denominations. And don’t worry about your husband’s feelings on this; you are the woman and therefore the boss. He doesn’t have any say in this whatsoever.
You should consider becoming Catholic. After all, no one thinks more highly of themselves than Catholics. Then when you get together with your in-laws you could taunt and tease her for being a lowly Methodist. You could even come up with a little chant similar to what you might here at a college sporting event. Just sing, "Catholic Rejects" while pointing in her direction, and make sure to clap your hands to the beat and make it fun; or "The Methodist Church has got to go, hey hey, ho ho".
Another fun thing to do would be to join a holy-roller church. You know, the ones where they dance with rattle snakes while drinking turpentine. If your mother-in-law gives you any guff, just throw a snake in her lap.
That ought to learn her a lesson. If not, you could always become Mormons. You probably would not approve of your husband having more wives, but trust me on this one. Just think, instead of having just you to hate on, your mother-in-law would have 6 or 7 other daughters-in-law to worry about. That's 6 or 7 other wives in your corner to gang up on your mother-in-law. Then she will have a real reason to shed some tears.
]
Well you should try to attend the other church so you can be fair.Try making you husbun go to the Methodist church and you go to the Baptis church. That way you both feel happy. But if that doesn't work you should try and tell your mother in law that she has to accept your religon.
]
Dear...when it comes to religion, there WILL be hurt feelings. you know the old adage, " Don't discuss reigion and politics"? Well, it's SO true. Although it would be great if you could get along with your in-laws, like chocolate chip and creme, it's probably not going to happen. You have already extended an invitation for them to come and "see" how you worship and they declined. how mauch more civil could you have been, my dear?
If it becomes unbearable, why not have your husband talk to them since they are his blood parents. tell him just how much it hurts you to have have to endure this and I'm sure he will intervene on your behalf. there's no need for anyone to "convert" anyone else. but it IS important for everyone to offer decency and respect to others' right to worship in a way that feels best for them.
]
You are in the right here my friend. You don't join any religion just to please someone and it also doesn't matter what religion you're into because we are all praising one God anyways. You should discuss your feelings towards this to you husband, HE should explain this things to his mom and NOT YOU. She might not take it very well coming from you but if it's coming from his own son she might look at things differently.
]
I look into your question and see my future. But that's another story...
Some people are very set in their ways. If they were true Christians, they would love you no matter where you went. I think its great that you go.
You and your husband hopefully have made compromises to heal this issue in your own life. Maybe you and or your husband need to sit down and talk to them about how you feel when they react like this. Maybe you should have your husband talk to them.
]
Okay if your in-laws cant seem to accept your religion dont go to their Cristmas Eve thing. That is a day you should enjoy yourself not sit in living tortur. Tell your husband that maybe you, him and your family (Your children if you have any) can go to a little dinner somewhere to anjoy your day before Christmas. Happy Holidays!
-shay :-)
]
You are what you are, but given that your husband's a Methodist and your in-laws are getting uppity, maybe you could visit the Methodists once in a while... not to join, but just to hear a different persepective and celebrate with the in-laws. After all, if you want to be in the same church as your in-laws for Christmas, visiting their church may do it.
I imagine there are multiple Christmas services at both places, so you wouldn't have to spurn your Baptist church, right? If not, I'm sure they'd understand (just don't miss Easter, I guess).
Hope that helps!
]
The main thing you need to do is sit down and have a calm sensible talk with them. Firstly tell them that you dont want to offend anyone and just want everyone to get along. Explain that you are who you are and thats not going to change but be willing to compromise, perhaps there are some times when you can go to a baptist church and others to a methodist (as a family im talking about) you dont have to listen to what is being preached but it will make them see that you care for their happiness and are willing to do to something about the rift as long as they are willing to do the same in return. I know how you feel in this sitiuation as i am in a simular one myself between myself and my inlaws and found the best way is to just ocmpromise and bring it up as little as possible!
]
More Questions: |