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Question Posted Monday December 15 2003, 7:14 pm

ok i really like this guy in new york were my mom lives and i live w\ my dad in michagen but if i leave my dad i would feel sooooooooooo guilty and i wouldn't be able to help him. should i live with mom or dad? i know what your gonna say your gonna say that i shouldn't have just that reason for living with her and i don't i have more but this is my main prob. so plez don't say that!

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Inevia answered Wednesday December 17 2003, 10:34 pm:
Huh? You want to move because you like this guy? That's absurd! I'm not sure I would automaticaly uproot my life for a guy I LOVED, much less for a guy I LIKED. There are plenty of fish in the sea; you should go fishing in the city where you currently live.

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ScaperJess answered Tuesday December 16 2003, 8:50 pm:
I hate to say it but really if you have to ask this and yet still tell us not to tell you that that is not a good enough reason… which is the obvious answer then I think you are just looking for other reasons… a boy especially when you are young is not a good reason to change were ad who you live with… I’m guessing be the sound of this you don’t have joint custody… If you parents have you interests in mind, which they should, then I’d talk to them about maybe summer at one place and winter in another… it’s really hard when your parents live far away but know your not alone…

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OneMan answered Tuesday December 16 2003, 6:37 pm:
Nope...what I was going to say ( and think I will, anyway ), is that it seems your biggest problem is "bailing out" on your father. You say you won't be able to help him. What kind of help does he need? Can he make it without you? Do YOU think he needs you there to help him or is it a foregone conclusion? Why don't you talk it over with him. You don't have to tell him WHY you want to go and live with your mom. Maybe that you just need a change. You may be surprised to find that he needs you less than you think he does. Hell, at first I thought you wanted to move because it's easier for you to spell New York.

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Whatever answered Tuesday December 16 2003, 2:03 pm:
Why would you even bother asking for advice if you know what kind of advice people would give you? You know deep down inside what is right but refuse to follow your instinct because it is not what you want. Sometimes we have to make choices that is not what we want but what is right.

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blair_the_black_iris answered Tuesday December 16 2003, 6:40 am:
do what u think is right for urself dont worry to much about what ur mum and dad think its ur life, if u think ull have a better life and be happy with ur mum then go live with ur mum and same with your dad. in the long run its all about u and what u think is righ for u only. dont let people hold u back

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xDarkorchid answered Monday December 15 2003, 10:08 pm:
well i understand you like this person alot.but if you were to move with your mom.you would maybe get a chance to date him.and even if you did eventually you would break up because love never lasts!and second of all think about you dad..i think he needs you more than some random boy in new york!

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shay*shay answered Monday December 15 2003, 8:27 pm:
Okay so what are your other reasons? They must be important for your parents to believe that you MUST live in NY. Does your mom live with anyone? If not it should be a 50/50 decision. I know I would feal guilty too if my parents were split and I'd leave one of them! So come up with something like you live in NY for the school year and Michigan for the summer. Or something like that. Even though I think its quite pathetic to leave to NY fo a guy! Just keep in touch with him by letters, email, phone. KKK
-shay :-)

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