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yet another problem


Question Posted Thursday December 4 2003, 3:12 pm

okay, i asked you guys about a 22 year old minister who loves me, a 14 year old. well, it's gotten worse. he's called me, and he told me that he had a dream about me, and we had sex. yikes! i really don't know what to do about him. i don't want to make him mad, because he knows my phone number and could easily find out where i live. any advice?

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life-love answered Sunday December 7 2003, 12:50 am:
Tell your parents immediatly and try staying away from him until farther notice.
P.S. he looks more like a whaco than a minister.

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musicismyworld answered Saturday December 6 2003, 7:26 pm:
wow it sounds like this guy is a major whack job if i were u i would totally just tell him u dont think of him that way and tell him that u alread have a boyfriend just whatever u do get out of it

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orphans answered Saturday December 6 2003, 6:47 pm:
Tell your parents that you think he's invading your special space. Or call up Fox, I'm sure they'd prolly wanna make some sorta sitcom about this. Maybe your parents will let you move. If your uncomfortable around your parents, talk to a school consilor or go to the police. Just let an adult know before anything bad happens.

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Joshua answered Saturday December 6 2003, 12:47 am:
I'm late getting on this bandwagon, but you've been given some good advice: This is NOT a good situation.

This man is a pedophile. He's testing the waters with you. He knows you care a lot about him, so he is starting to find out where you really stand and what he can do. By mentioning "Oh, I had this weird dream about you..." he is bringing up the idea of sex with you to see how you react to such an idea.

I know that hearing such a thing, even if you do care for him, is quite freaky. It can make you feel very uncomforable, violated, and worried. You probably don't want to tell anyone because you aren't sure that it's really that big of a deal, and it's embarrassing. You probably think that your mom will either think that you are making it up or that you got yourself into this situation, and that somehow it is your fault. You're scared he will do something to you if you tick him off.

All that is understandable. You should talk to a trusted adult about this. No way should you let this go. Even if you are able to convince him to forget about you, what about the next trusting girl that comes his way? Will she be as strong?

It is very unlikely that this man will harm you. He knows that he takes major risks while "grooming" his next victim. At each step, he's going to be testing the waters and seeing if it's ok to continue. He is a coward. He may be an adult, but he is afraid of you telling anyone.

Please keep everyone posted on the status, and tell someone.

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koshii answered Friday December 5 2003, 8:30 pm:
He's not a minister, he is an evil goblin of Satan. Next time he calls you, act all innocent, then read aloud the bible verse about Sodom and Gomorrah. Next time you see him, follow these steps:
1. Step back a few steps. Have with you holy water, a cross, some fennelseed, a red ribbon, and an anti-aircraft missle (backup).
2. Shout, "Agent of Satan, remove thy foul presence from this place, which I deem consecrated in the name of the Lord! Thy powers are removed!"
3. Throw the water, cross, and various highpowered ammunition at him until he is dead. sprinkle the fennelseed on his corpse (or what is left of it) and tie the red ribbon around his neck or arm, whichever is more concrete at the time. Aww, a christmas present.
4. Relax and remember you are going to heaven.

Conversely, throw rocks through his windows or head.

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brown_eyed_girl answered Thursday December 4 2003, 10:37 pm:
you need to tell your parents whats going on.

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shay*shay answered Thursday December 4 2003, 6:54 pm:
Wai,wait,wait! Thats way to gross to share. A dream like that he should have kept to himself. Though he may feel close to you enough to tell you. Thats usually not good if a man you dont like feels close. You should tell him you already have plans for your future. Your going to stay away from relationships until after or during college.
-shay :-)

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DearBritney answered Thursday December 4 2003, 6:36 pm:
Hey gurl,

Do you know this guy personally, or did you meet him through a chatroom? Either way, you have to get help ASAP. This guy could be no good, and he should be checked out. Talk to your parents before you making any decisions on a background check...they will be able to talk to you and give you the advice and support that you need.

Good Luck, and stay strong!

-DearBritney

[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)

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OneMan answered Thursday December 4 2003, 5:33 pm:
Once again people...there is NO reason for any ADULT to profess love, lust, or otherwise for a minor. NONE! He's a minister...it's immoral. He's an adult...it's ILLEGAL ( should anything physical come of his wanton desires ), and whatever his role....he's sick. trust me on this one...he's a slice of bread short of a loaf.
I understand that you're 14 and that you don't want to anger him, but, the road he's trying to take you down is not a good one, in ANY sense. If you'd like to take a rather easy way out that doesn't make you the "bad guy", tell him the next time he calls that you're grounded because your mom just found your diary and read everything you feel about him, and how much you love each other.
Somehow, I don't think he'll be much of a problem after that. Becuase regardless of what he is, a minister, an adult, a sick, sick man, I don't think he's stupid. PLEASE let me know how this turns out.

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ScaperJess answered Thursday December 4 2003, 3:31 pm:
Get a restraining order? Call the police? That’s a sick man, it's known as a pedophile and especially if he is a minister... Geeze I just lost more faith in organized religion...

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Celena answered Thursday December 4 2003, 3:28 pm:
Yes. My advice is to listen to my first advice to you. And to learn to capitalize. My next advice is thus:

This man is a predator. Tell your parents or another responsible adult exactly what he said to you. If they refuse to do anything, disbelieve you, or feel you are creating drama, tell him that if he continues his current behavioral pattern you will not hesitate to file a release report. If he continues, follow up. What his is pursuing is illegal. That is, against the law. Meaning he is a criminal. Got it?

And for the love of all things shiny, get some therapy!

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