|
Abort or not to abort.....
I am a 29 year old married woman with three kids. I just found out that I am pregnant and my husband and I have agreed that I would have an abortion because we couldn't afford to have another child. We are already struggling to raise our three kids. I am so confused and depressed right now. I am scheduled to have my abortion next week though. If I continue with this pregnancy that means I would have to stop working and money is really tight right now. We are actually living pay check to pay check right now. The other side of me wanted to continue having this child. And it really hurts me so that I have to do this. My family and his family would be so dissappointed if they learned I'm preganant and I doubt that they would be willing to help. If you were in my shoes, would you do the same thing? Am I wrong in doing this?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
i have just found myuself in the same boat as u and i know how had this is .... but u r doing the right thing!
i think of how much my kids would miss out on if we bring another child into our family and i know that my youngest wouldnt like to have her mummy taken away from her by another baby .
i also think of how mamy years i have put my own life on hold to raise the children and now they r getting older i am starting to find me again under this woman called "mum".
i always said that if i found myself in this way again after my youngest was born this is what i would do and as far as i can see no matter how much the idea of having a baby may apill this is the only answer for my family to have a deasent way of life both money wise and the fact that i dont think i could cope with another child .
]
Personally, I don't believe in abortions. I know it might be hard but, will you be happier if you had a fourth child? Don't worry about money please. Just answer this question, If you had a million dollars, would you want this child? If you do, shouldn't you have it? Forget about what your family says, it's your body, you are the mother and you'll probably be raising the most anyway. Just go back in time and remember having the last three. Pros and Cons. This is probably the most difficult question I have read so far but I say don't worry about money, if you believe there is a god, then pray, this is not a question to be asking people who volenteer to give advise. Good luck sweetie!
Lizzy
]
The decision you make is yours, let no one else opion matter to you. It is personal and your's alone.
I will offer some knowledge that may be some comfort to you, the staff at my local Planned Parenthood is super friendly, understanding, and non judgemental. The women that work their do it because they believe in a choice and they understand how difficult it is to be there. They always explain everything to you so nothing is a surprise. You are also offer two medications that help with the anxiety, so by the time you enter the procedure you are relaxed and a little apthetic. Also during the procedure you are offered a medication that has amnesia effect. You are completly concious and aware of whats going on, but you feel... discontected and floatie. Afterwares the memory just kind of fades a away. After the procedure you are given free birth control for the first month. They also give ou information on their free birth control program, and emergency contraceptives (the morning after pill)
Also depending on where you live you should look into the abortion pill RU-486. It is fast, less tramuastizing, and often can be taken at home with no complications. Most major cities Planned Parenthood offers RU-486 (usually college town do too), and it's cheaper than a surgical abortion. To find out it there is city near you that offers RU-486 go to the Planned Parenthood web site and look up your location, or a location near you they tell you all the clininc that offer this service.
I made this very personal desicion years ago. I have never once doubted that I made the right decision for me and my life. This is a personal decision make it for yourself.
]
I can't say you're "right or wrong"...noone can. YOU both know what's in your best interest. Turn to that which has helped you make hardened decisions in the past, whatever that may be. I would like to know what it is that is leaving you "depressed" about the entire situation. I think you already have your answer. But, if you'd like to talk more about this, out of eyeshot of everyone else's eyes on this board, please feel free to contact me through my personal e mail. i think it may help to have someone to talk to about this. I look forward to hearing from you.
]
You are 29 years old, and that's a little too old to be expecting pat answers from strangers about something this important. Having an abortion is a painful experience. I am strongly pro-choice, but I can still cry about an abortion that I had almost twenty years ago and wonder if I did the right thing (I think I did---but that doesn't make it hurt any less). As I am sure you know, this is a very loaded issue, and I don't think you can count on other people to give you good advice, simply because they are going to give you answers that reflect their own belief systems, and not what is best for you and your family. Only you can decide whether you can emotionally handle an abortion or adoption, and weigh the pain of the loss of a child against the hardship that an extra child will impose on your family. You are going to have to live with this decision for a long time, one way or the other, so don't let anyone pressure you (including your husband)! And once you get through this...I encourage you to talk to your doctor about finding a more reliable method of contraception---you don't want to have to go through this again!
]
I can sort of relate to what you are saying...I'm 24, unemployed and waiting to go back to school. If I were pregnant right now, I would keep the baby, but life would be a lot more difficult than it is now.
I hope you talked to someone...this isn't a decision to be made lightly. And the adoption idea is always a good one.
]
I would suggest talking to your husband about this. I'd be torn about it too. If I were in your shoes, I hope I would consider the adoption possibility.
]
Your body your choice... If you can't afford the time off work and they don't offer a type of maternity leave then well I suppose you have to think of yourself and what is best for you and your family now, and that is best. It’s one of those situations were an abortion might be best, however if it is financially possible to carry to term, then have you thought about putting the baby up for adoption? Some people can't have children and have been waiting for years for a chance to get one via adoption, I myself was aborted and it is a great thing, I love my life and well I know my parents are beyond happy to have a family even though they can't have children themselves. I don't believe that abortions are the same as murder or crap like that, I rather not see the child be born at all than have to live in a situation where they don't get ample opportunity, or deprive there family of economic stability. You know what’s best for your situation and whatever you decide is right for you, the others that oppose it have not, nor will probably ever be in a situation like yours so how can they tell you that you are a bad person... Good luck in whatever you choose...
]
You don't say how far along you are, but obviously not very far. You say that you and your husband have agreed to an abortion, but yet you don't seem to be too agreeable to the idea.
Financial concerns aside, you should NOT have an abortion next week if you do not feel that your mind is clear that this is something you want. To have an abortion even after firmly deciding it's what you want can still be (and likely will be) a very emotional event. If you are feeling depressed and confused, then you are not ready to make such a decision. The fact that you say "the other side of me wanted to continue having this child" is proof that you really would keep this baby if finances were not so tight.
I know it's easy for people to say "Just do it" or "don't do it", but situations never fall into those easy black and white categories; your situation is no exception. I'm sure you have thought of every possible way to financially support an additional child, but just don't see it happening. But, is having the abortion justified because of your financial difficulties? That's for you to figure out, and I don't think you have yet.
Please, please, call the clinic that you have scheduled this abortion with, and schedule a time to talk to one of their counselors. This is provided for free, and can be someone that you can at least express your concerns to and is more real than people answering an advice site.
]
DONT DO IT KEEP THE CHILD you most likly will never be able to live with yourself noing that you killed your child keep and for the future if you dont want any kids use birth control and a condum
]
If I were in your shoes I'd probably be just as torn about the decision, but I'd try everything possible to not have an abortion. I had a friend who had one once and felt awful for her, she decided later she felt bad about it, and you can never go back, you know?
Adoption is almost as difficult but I think it's easier to deal with in the long run. That's what I'd really recommend, if you think you can do it.
Whatever you do, know that it'll turn out okay. Humans have a much higher capacity to survive hardships than we think we do, and I know it feels right now like there's no way out but you will make it. Just keep telling yourself that.
]
I feel it is aptsulutely bad to abort ur child. If u knew that u didnt want to have another kid, y did u?? or didnt u know??
anyway i feel u should go through and have your babie and then put her up for adoption.
Hope i helped
Britt
]
It doesnt matter how much money you have or dont have an abortion is a loss of a life. Its like a murder if you think about it!Do not abort your child it is wrong!
]
More Questions: |