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Love is killing me
hey. well, to get right to it, there's this guy i fell in love with. he's a senior, and i'm a freshman, but i still love him more than life itself. but there are so many problems....he is my 19th cousin...do u think that's bad? then there's his "new" girlfriend. and the fact that he loves his 3rd cousin, which is worse than me. but the real problem is he is a vampire. i'm serious. he sucks his blood and everything! he's even tried to kill me a number of times. but i still fell in love with him somehow. but the day i found out he had a girlfriend, i slit my wrist 23 times. i've been doing it every night for almost a month now because of him. now, i'm not pretty or skinny, so it's not like i have another guy to like instead. do you have any advice? and then...there's my second problem. i'm 14, and there's this really nice, really sweet 22 year old who loves me. and i have no clue what to do. he's a minister, but he has a bad past and reputation. some of my friends are afraid that he'll rape me or something like that. but i like him alot. what should i do? cuz it's kinda illegal.......well, thanks in advance for any help you can offer. Bye
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Sounds like u need advice. I suggest that u talk to ur parents or guidence counseler. Dont hurt ur self over a guy and if he is really a vampire dont like him still. If u like a 22 year old man that is fine but dont do anythin w/ him.
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Wow. Would you like the short answer or the long one? Wait, I know! I'll give you the short answer and then move gracefully into the long one. The short answer is about three words long. Are you ready? Got your scratch pad? A pen? Good. You'll want to take this down:
Therapy, Therapy, Therapy!
Now here's the long answer.
I don't know who started this chaotic mess in your life, but it's time for you to break the cycle, and you can start by breaking it off, not with one, but with both of these men. Vampire Boy is obviously unhealty for you. Of course, he was probably abused as well, but that's no excuse for his violent acting out. You being cousins, regardless of how close, does not even come near the top of the reasons I would be locking you away from this boy. But I do think you need to look inside yourself and think long and hard about what attracts you to such a chaotic, issue-filled man. Then you need to work at never being attracted to those things again. Also, you need to tell them to a Therapist. Moving on.
Onto Minister Boy. Are you sure he's not a Catholic Priest? I don't care if he's so sweet, he blows gumdrops out of his nose instead of snot. The man is twenty-two years old. And you are fourteen. I don't care how developed or mature you are or think you are, the man is a criminal. If you get involved with him, and anyone presses charges he WILL go to jail. Also, your friends are, it seems, a good deal wiser than you on this one. I'd say that this may be one of the few safe times to listen to what they have to say.
Now, to adress your desire to cut your arms to ribbons. Stop that. And stop it quickly. None of these chaotic, asshole men are worth a pinprick on any girl's body. That statement merely solidifies my opinion that you desperately need therapy.
As stated above. You need to find a therapist, or at the least a mature, responsible adult to talk these things through with. You are too young to be dealing with this kind of chaos alone, or even with a group of young chaotic friends.
In closing:
Don't. Get. Pregnant.
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You seem really mature. But what's NOT mature is trying to kill yourself! You shouldn't do that just because of a guy. Are you sure that it was love? Or was it just lust? I believe that us teens are to young to be in "love". I believe in lust now days...there IS a difference between love and lust. But believe what you want. A piece of my advice would be to get a boy your own age. You are trying to find love to soon. Love will come to you. There are plenty of guys your age that might suit your likings. He doesn't have to be 22 or 19 or anywhere along those lines. As I said, love will come to you. whether its a week, a month, a year or years! Sometimes you have to wait for your prince charming to come and have your fairy-tale ending. But in the end when you find that special somebody that's your own age and that truely LOVES you, you'll be glad you waited and you didn't spare your life for that 22 and 19 year old.
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I truly feel for you in this situation.
It seems that you are a much more mature 14 year old than those around you. Which is why you probably don't "like" any of the guys your age. They still have a lot of growing up to do, and you are ready for someone who you can relate to.
Unfortunately, you are looking in the wrong places. You are looking for a guy who can shelter you from all the wrongs in your life - someone who you can get advice from and who can help you through your struggles. That's all fine and good - but you must seperate a helpful, caring relationship from romantic feelings.
It's ok to have those feelings, and they are very real. I'm sure it's quite hard and heartbreaking when you cannot have these guys that you so desperately care for. You should share these feelings and struggles with someone you trust, who can support you through these difficult times.
But inflicting pain on yourself, while it may temporarily take the focus off your problems, will not make them go away. The only way to make them go away is to face them and work through them.
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Well all I can say is wow, that's quite the situation... Get over it all and give up on boys, and relationships for quite awhile... Good luck with that...
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There is no reason to constantly slit your armfor guy.Or anything else.It sounds to me like you should definetly stay away from this priest(talk to an adult about him).If the senior you like as tried to kill you he doesnt sound like hot news either.But I dont think the fact that hes your 19th cousin shouldnt be a problem.Are you sure you love him that much still?Well if so stay friends and maybe you'll have a future.Good luck
-shay
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Have a long talk with an adult outside this whole thing who you trust. We're just a bunch of armchair philosophers on this one.
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well first of all DONT SLIT YOUR FRICKEN WRIST OR ANY OTHER PART OF YOUR BODY and second of all get over this senior i no that many people probly told you this and i hate to tell you but it is the truth and 3rd of all stay away from that minister he sounds like a shady character oh and just to let you know its not bad to date your 19th cosin they are so far away from you in blood i mean that it doesnt matter
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