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Christmas with my girlfriend EX husband
First of all I have been dating my girlfrind now for a little over 4 months, she has been divorced for 2 years , I have been divorced for a year now also.
She has 2 kids (boy,4) (girl,11) and I have a (boy13)
Throughout the past four months I have endured doing things with her ex husband and her like skydiving, and going out on Halloween with her and her kids, I really dont approve of the the way her Ex raises her kids ...and he is a alchoholic and doesnt have a job.
They alternate the kids from her house to his every other day and alternating weekends.
Now that the holidays are here it is getting to be a little to wierd for me having him around
She invited him to our Thanksgiving dinner...Then she said she felt sorry for him and asked me if it was OK?
I told her NO...my whole family was going to be there and I would feel uncomfortable with him being there also...now there is another dillema
She wants him to be at her house on Christmas morning to watch the kids open theyr'e presents
I will be there also and so will my son,
I dont feel that he should be there also, correct me if I am wrong but shouldent the kids have Chrismas at they're Fathers house and then theyre Mothers seperately.... I think her youngest child is really confused...I dont think he relizes the mom and dad are divorced....Can anyone give me advice?????
T
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T,
Sometimes, the best thing to do is the hardest. It sounds as if the girlfiend has a problem letting go of the relationship she had with the ex. And in doing so, she's preventing the two of you from being as the army says, "All That You Can Be".
I know it may be difficult, but you have to ask her to make a decision. Does she wish to continue to hold on to what once was with her ex, or does she wish to try and bring what the two of you believe you can have to fruition? Whe can't have both. You can't stress that enough. If she mentions the need for the children to have their father in their lives ( and I for one, will NOT argue that :) ), tell her that you understand an even agree, but that doesn't include him having to invade the relationship you're trying to establish. He can still be instrumental in his children's lives, but you're beyond the formative and post-pubescent years and you just don't need him in yours.
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Wow, i am not sure wut to say. I think that u should maybe sit your girlfriend down and talk to her about how u feel. Yes, i also think that they should have christmas seperatly. I am not sure wut else to say....
Good Luck,
BRitt
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I don't know dude I would say that you are in a FIX.
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I'd tend to think having him around isn't so bad... one Christmas is a good number per year, more is just too much IMHO. So long as it looks like it'll be civilized: go with it, I'd say.
I think the weirdness is just part of the package.
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honestly i would tell her how you feel this is a tuffy and tell her that you dont want her ex husband/lover at your family things i mean come one it seams like she cant get over him not to sound rude harsh or upseting to you but tell her dont yell at her or hunt her down and put her ex on your destroy raidar though becuase then she will just spit it all back in your face times 10 i should no becuase i am a female and trust me when you tell her make sure she sits down and tell her calmly and rationaly that you feel uncomfortable with her ex hanging around soooooo much
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