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humorist-workshop

Grudging


Question Posted Monday November 10 2003, 10:51 am

I'm 16. I "went out" with a guy (now 17) two years ago and he really really hurt me. He led me on for a year, finally asked me out, and then never went anywhere with me. I embarassed him (by wearing my knee brace in gym class) and he dumped me BY EMAIL three weeks after he asked me out. It hurt so bad because not only did I waste a year of my life on him, we were friends before that.

Everytime I tried to talk to him afterwards, he would turn the tables and place all the blame on me. I can't get over my anger on him. I never talk to him, never look at him, and generally in day-to-day contact pretend he doesn't exist. I feel bad sometimes because we had a great friendship before, but I can't trust him anymore.

I'm fine not having him in my life, but holding this grudge has made me more hateful and I feel like I'm the worse person because of it. I never was upfront with him to his face about how much I can't stand him, because I fear confrontation. What can I do to let this go? How can I move on?


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Britt answered Monday December 1 2003, 2:59 pm:
Dear Grudging,
Personally i think that if he broke up w/ u just becuz of u wearin a leg brace that then you were never meant for eachother. Maybe if you would just try to talk to him or tell him how u feel, maybe that would work. If i were you i would try to find another guy.

Good Luck,
Britt

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dragonrider answered Monday November 10 2003, 10:21 pm:
First of all you are not the worst person in the world trust me i have basicly the same problem with my friend but really the only thing i could say is mending the heart takes time i know you probly dont want to hear that but it is true as for the confronting part i would go up to him with a bunch of friends and have them help you along i always find going in a group is more supporting then by yourself because they will make you do it and by yourself you can easly walk away but with freinds you can go full force.

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chaos answered Monday November 10 2003, 3:56 pm:
Holy cow. Go hang with someone else. Try not to hold the grudge you are holding against him against other guys. It will eventually fade or it will turn into some strange Turrett's syndrome where you call his name out like "i hate you ____(guys's name)" even when you aren't even thinking about him. Try doing something nice for someone else.

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