there's this really hot guy. he refers to me as his little sister. i wasn't hit head on with love as most people do. love sneaked carefully upon me so i didn't notice. then... it hit me hard. and now i can't shake it off. i don't want to ruin this wonderful friendship i have with him, but i can't help wishing we were more than that. what should i do? how do i shake off this feeling? should i even ignore it? what can i dooooo???
Try to shake off the feeling, as hard as it sounds. It's better to keep the friendship and not do anything about the relationship. If he eventually makes a move, yay. But if he calls you his little sister, chances are you're stuck that way. [ Turc's advice column | Ask Turc A Question ]
Moop answered Saturday November 8 2003, 12:51 am: Tell him how you feel. It'll work better than telling us. By all means do not ignore any human feelings. [ Moop's advice column | Ask Moop A Question ]
chaos answered Friday November 7 2003, 4:42 pm: Ok been here, done that, he's getting married to someone else tomorrow. You could ask him how he feels. If he is a decent fellow, he will tell you "yes I think we could have a relationship" and you will, or he will tell you "no, I don't think its a good idea" and you will still have a great friend.
If he's a total jerk, he will run run away like the wind. Bye.
If you need to "forget about it," go out with someone else. There is great benefit to having the male perspective on personal matter if you feel that close. [ chaos's advice column | Ask chaos A Question ]
Jojo349199 answered Friday November 7 2003, 2:07 pm: You do not need to be as confused as you sound. You have all the answers but one. First, he thinks of you as his "Little Sister"... which means he is not currently romantically (or physically) interested in you. Second, Friendships are rarely lasting. In your lifetime, if you can say you have had a handful of long-lasting "great" friendships, you are in the rarest of company. So... risking the friendship to achieve something that is possibly better is well worth the risk... and it obviously your desire to do this. Third... you cannot "shake the feeling" as you put it. The harder you try to ignore it, the more intense it will become. To lose the feeling, you must accept it and move on to other things (such as a similar feeling for someone else). You don't sound ready to do this. Last (and definitely most complex), if you want to make it more than a friendship, you must find out what is preventing him from seeing you only as his little sister. Perhaps it is chemical and he does not find a physical attraction for you or perhaps he is not telling you the truth and he is secretly attracted to you. Most likely, there are things involved here you do not yet see. You must find out what these things are and then you might have a chance... but it is a very long shot. Still, the reward of the best possible outcome happening outweighs the risk for the worst possible outcome. Whatever you choose to do next must be done with the understanding that you may not like the outcome. If you can truly accept this, the rest is up to you.
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