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boring guys?
I'm dating a guy who's nice, but I'm just not feeling a "spark" or anything. We're comfortable together, that's all. Like really good friends. Is that enough for a lasting relationship? I'm just not the "fall head over heals" type.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Being a guy, I have listened to women speak for years and not fully understood the message. Suddenly, some of it makes sense.
Your relationship will fall apart sooner or later. It is doubtful you can still remain friends afterwards but you will try anyway. In the end, you were with a "nice" guy but most women don't want just a "nice" guy.
My advice is not "my" advice. It comes from a woman who was in love with someone and was also a friend (and nothing more). She said she knew she was in love because she could feel it instantly and because her heart was racing faster than her mind. She could tell when she was "in love" at the moment she saw someone.
She also said that the "heartbeat" will eventually slow and the long-term relationship will change into something like you now describe (if you are lucky). But, if you start off that way, you will always feel like you have missed something.
I didn't like her answers at first but now, especially after hearing your question, I believe her advice is good for you. You would not have asked your question if you didn't feel you were missing something already.
My personal advice is to stay with him until it is time to move on. You still enjoy his company and there are lessons to learn before it is time to move on to the next adventure.
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"Comfortable together, that's all". Comfort between two people is a hard medium to obtain, don't underestimate. That and nice guys are hard to come by. Take what you want from that, because that is all I got.
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Many people have lived there life out, and had a descent life in a relationship like this, however they while they were fairly happy there was something missing. You could make this work not saying you'd be miserable, but really your cheating yourself and him, if you don't have some spark, your intimate life will be rather dry, one day you could end up cheating, trying to find that extra excitement... you might not be the head over heels type but you should not only be good friends, you should have a deeper emotional and physical connection then you would to just a good friend... If you have an intimate life, you like to get close and do then you could make it last, but if your really just about the same as best friends then you might want to be just that, if not for you then for him...
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I was in you situation, You know what you are wasting your time, tell him and you guys remain friends, time is very important.
take care
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Hurry! Break things off now and still remain friends! There really should be 'sparks'. Seriously. That being together just for the heck of it went out of style in the 19th century. When you're in love...you know. It may be 'comfortable', but it's not worth sacrificing a relationship that could be so much more.
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By asking this question, it leads me to believe that you are more than just a little "not into him," you know? I know it sucks for guys to hear the "let's be friends" speech, but that looks like what it's coming to. When you're not into someone, you're not into someone. The best thing for both of you is to cut it off without letting him think this could work out. It's very easy to stay in a rut, and while it may be more comfortable than breaking up, it makes it all the harder to leave when you know it needs to stop.
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i think yes, it is enough for a lasting relationship - just not the kind you're in at the moment. i think it sounds like you could both be really great friends, but if there's nothing to keep you in the dating-relationship, there's nothing to say it wil last. i'm not saying you should break up with him right away, just give it time and talk to him about it... good luck!!
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