|
humorist-workshop
Should I tell her?
My best friend Joleen has been dating this guy Tom for a month now. Tom and my friends Allison and Grace go to the same school, but Joleen and I go to a different one.
Well, Tom, Allison, and Grace's school had a homecoming festival. Allison, Grace, and this other girl Mary were hanging around a fire pit, when Tom comes up and sits on Mary's lap. Then, he says "Oh, no. I'll crush you, you can sit on my lap." and Mary did. Apparently, that wasn't all that happend, either. They were flirting a LOT.
Should I tell Joleen what Tom did? Or should I keep it to myself?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If you've seen this first hand and know what was happening, I think Joleen has a right to know the truth. As long as the facts aren't distorted and this is whats happening, she should find out sooner rather than later. If this is how Tom is going to act, its easier coming one month down the line than 5.
]
I wouldn't tell her. Especially because you didn't see any of this yourself. It's like that old game telephone, where each time someone passes on the message it gets crazier. Telling your friend gets you caught up in her relationship with Tom, and you don't need that drama.
Now if Allison or Gracefeel like they should call up Joleen and let her know that her boyfriend was flirting, that's their choice.
]
tell her. Its her right to know, and she would probably find it out from you than from nasty rumors that might get started.
But DONT add any flair or anything--tell her exactly what happened.
]
Usually best to mind your own business on this one. You didn't see the behaviour in question (did you?) and your friend isn't helped by you spreading gossip.
]
Well, it really depends. First off, do you actually know what happened? Were you there? Did they just "flirt a lot" or did it go further? How much further?
I suggest you get all the facts straight first then mention what happened to your friend. Make it clear that you're telling her this with her best interests in mind. They haven't been dating very long and it's likely that this isn't a really big deal, but it might be. If you don't know for certain, be sure to tell her that. If more "apparently" happened, I wouldn't bring it up unless you know more about it, otherwise you're just spreading rumours.
You definitely shouldn't keep it to yourself, but there's no need to make it into "oh my god, you won't believe what your boyfriend did!!!" either. Just be honest and let her decide how to deal with it.
]
You should tell Joleen, but break it to her easy. She hasn't been going out with this guy that long, but she deserves to know he is a scumbag. Chances are this isn't the only time he has been unfaithful, but even if she decides to stay with him, she needs to know about this. Just remember, be gentle when telling her.
]
Ok first of all you need to find out if your blowing this thing out of proportion, his girlfriend has the right to know, but I advise you to actually talk to him about it first. Be strait forward and honest, flirting with others does not always stop with the start of a relationship especially early on. I know people that can't help but flirt with everyone like that, even if they’re in a very serious relationship. He could be one of these people... It's simply there nature; they treat their friends as though there more... unless you catch him kissing her it's not something I'd get to exited about. If you want to tell your friend which is reasonable, weight the pro's and con's. You might have just have started a fight between your friend and her boyfriend over nothing, or you could have saved her from a situation of getting cheated on and hurt. If I were you I'd talk to him first, or even just his friends to find out if he has a flirtatious nature...
]
More Questions: |