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Confused love
I have in a relationship with a guy for almost a year now, and we have both declared our love for each other. I believe that we have a pretty strong relationship. We have a had the highs and lows, we both survived each other's families and each other's quirky little habits. I love him.
I'm currently enrolled in a theater class which requires us to sometimes be pretty intimate with each other. One of my really good guy friends is also in this same class with me. We had to do one scene where we had to kiss. That wasn't a big deal, it was a pretty quick kiss and it didn't mean anything in my part, however, during the time that we presented the scene, when he kissed me, he held onto much MUCH longer than necessary. There I was, with my eyes closed, my heart thudding like a maniac, my mind racing not knowing whether to pull away and suffer a bad grade knowing full well that we were kissing in front of an entire audience. This guy friend and I have always been flirtatious and all, but that was about as much as it went. It's just really bad timing coz I'm in a relationship...
I felt really guilty about the kiss for some reason even though it wasnt my fault so I called Jeff(my boyfriend) and told him about it. He was cool with it, and said as long as it was just "acting" it's alright... what didn't tell him though is I really liked how my guy friend kissed me. REALLY LIKED IT.
Does every girl go through a phase like this? I love Jeff, but then how can I like kissing someone else and love him at the same time? Please help.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
can you live without your best guy friend? can you live without jeff? listen to yourself. are you just lusting over one of them? feel and listen to the speakings of your concience.
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Physical attraction doesn't stop just because you fall in love with someone. Kissing someone and liking it doesn't make you some kind of freak. It proves that you are human and have feelings. But you need to talk to Jeff about those feelings. If he freaks out about it he isn't worth your time. Communication is the key, if you don't have that in a relationship, then there's no point in being in a relationship. Trust in yourself and trust in Jeff to understand. Trust in a relationship is very important also. And Jeff isn't going to trust you if he finds out from someone else.
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My best friend, actually, got one of the leads in the school play last year where she had to kiss a boy. She broke up with her boyfriend of 10 months for the guy she had to kiss because the kissing thing went so "well". Unfortunately, the guy never ended up asking her out. And she realized she really loved her ex-boyfriend, so she cried and begged and apologized and worried and got back together with him, and they've been going out ever since.
Moral of the story? Unless you know the guy is into you, and it wasn't just a one-time theater thing, stick with your man. Especially if he was cool with it. Theater can do some freaky things to your love life, but only if you let it.
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It is perfectly possible that you love Jeff, but like kissing someone else. Now, is it that you liked the fact that your guy friend kissed you period, or that it was him kissing you, or you just liked the way he kissed you. Either way, the situation you are in makes sense. Although not all girls go through a stage like this, quite often when a girl is in a relationship she may feel that she develops a crush on another person, or have fantasies involving other guys, or even ends up getting kissed by another guy. You wern't cheating on Jeff because it was acting, and you havn't indicated that you wanted to or had planned to. And post-kiss, you didn't follow up on it or anything. Think of it this way. Your mother makes amazing cheesecake, the best cheesecake in the world in your opinion. Then you go to a restaurant and end up having a bite of someone elses cheesecake, and you like it. Just because you liked having ONE BITE of someone elses cheesecake and liking it doesn't mean that your mothers cheesecake isn't good, or that you dont love your mother and her cheesecake. It just means that someone else gave you a bite of their cheesecake. Of course, it is more serious then this and you didn't willingly "take a bite of the cheesecake" meaningfully. But it is along the same lines. Hope that helped solve your problem!
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Im sure many people have that problem.
Remember, kisses and other "physical manifestations of love" are, for the most part, related to biology, not psychology. Therefore, since you love Jeff, and enjoyed kissing this other guy, you should stick with Jeff.
You know him better, You like him better, and if it turns out hes not who you really like, you can track down the guy freind.
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