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I realize I am a dumb male, but I am trying to do the best I


Question Posted Tuesday October 14 2003, 11:54 pm

I realize I am a dumb male, but I am trying to do the best I can wth it. There is a girl I like, but due to several things, I can't ask her out or tell her how I feel for a while. That bugs me, but it's not what I'm writing about. We're getting to be pretty good close friends (which I feel is better for the long run anyway), and she's really cool. She's also big into feminism. I've always sort of considered myself a feminist, but never really thought about it too much. So now I'm wondering if I really am becoming more of a feminist due to her influence, or if I'm just sort of wearing it on my sleeve so she'll like me more. I don't like to do things half-heartedly, I feel it would be unfair to myself and to feminism in general. So am I really a feminist?

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zinkthinker answered Saturday October 18 2003, 2:31 pm:
i think a lot of it is that you really like this girl, so naturally when she tells you about her ideas you tend to be attracted to those, too. so i think you really are a feminist, although you might end up being less of one if/when you stop digging this girl so much. in any case, it's very cool that you're interested in feminism for any reason at all.

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mycete answered Thursday October 16 2003, 9:13 pm:
I am reminded of the movie Total Recall. What makes you who you are? Is it simply things you do or is it more intrinsic? I think that the things you do can make you who you are. First of all, do you want to be a feminist? If the answer is yes, then do the things that feminist do (treat weman as equal ect) and tell yourself that that is what you believe the right thing to do it. After time you will be that. I think it is OK that she is causing you to be a different person (if that is what is happening) as long as it is a good person that you want to be.

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SMINT answered Thursday October 16 2003, 4:27 pm:
this happens a lot in relationships. Just think to yourself if she really loves me, she won't care that I'm not a huge feminist. And if she does, she's not worth my time. Maybe it's also because of her influence. This happens a lot too.

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Girlwithamansname answered Wednesday October 15 2003, 7:38 am:
It could be a little bit of both but I don't think that it really matters.

If you had suddenly converted just to get her to like you then that might be slightly dodgy.What you've said however seems pretty harmless.Try not to give her the impression that you're only doing it for her sake and you should be fine.

It's nice to come across guy's that are feminist although you do seem to have slightly misunderstood something ; for most people isn't about being anti-men.

Just fell good about yourself and be true to your beliefs.I hope it all works out with her in the end.

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