Sporkster answered Wednesday March 24 2004, 10:42 pm: Squirrels are so vicious and demonic because of all the junk mail that has accumulated in their natural habitat. I mean, c'mon! You wouldn't like it either if some gazzoohummmongusooooo dump truck piled crappy spa advertisements all in your house!!! 0_o That...was....erm, well, strange.... *cough cough* [ Sporkster's advice column | Ask Sporkster A Question ]
orphans answered Saturday October 18 2003, 10:21 pm: Okay, as the Squirrel Murderess, I have to reply.
Squirrels are part of a secret goverment agency. They are the "big brother" always watching you. You know that chatter-y sound they make? They're communicating with the computers that are programmed into their brains, which sends the information it collectors.If theres a large amount of squirrels near you, somethings going down. So catch squirrels and send them to me to kill and reprogram so there wont be any problems. [ orphans's advice column | Ask orphans A Question ]
dolphinlover answered Monday October 13 2003, 4:46 pm: One of the possible explanations I've heard is that they are so protective of their nut stashes that they will do anything to keep other animals and people away from them. They must survive a whole winter on what they store or they will die a tedious death, and so if you were in their "shoes" you'd be the same way. [ dolphinlover's advice column | Ask dolphinlover A Question ]
spacefem answered Sunday October 12 2003, 10:08 am: They're mad about the naming scheme. I mean come on, gray squirrels are really more silvery, red squirrels are actually brown, black squirrels don't even really have a label, they're just freaks. You'd be mad too.
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