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Mean, Overbearing Sister-in-Law
Our brother's wife is overbearing and mean at every family get together. She goes on and on about how wonderful she is, how she does everything right while at the same time being mean and spiteful to everyone around her, particularly the children in the family. She takes over and acts like she's the one in charge every chance she gets. And she thinks nothing of making hurtful, spiteful comments. None of us say anything and continue to tolerate the behavior because we don't want to alienate our brother (who isn't much better than his wife). I say it's time we tell this know-it-all bully that we've had enough. If she doesn't care who's feelings she hurts then why should we? What's the worst that can happen? She stops talking to us? Big whoop I say. I just don't want it to be me who finally blows my top at the next family function while everyone sits by and acts like her behavior doesn't bother them. We've all discussed the situation and agree that she's become unbearable.
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If your brother isn't going to say anything, maybe he doesn't notice, or doesn't want to say anything either. And as for saying he's as bad as his wife, then what. One comment, from a mean adult, can scar a child for life. I had a teacher who called me stupid, one time. And I've never forgotten about it. Someone needs to stand up to that "lady" and put her in her place. Nobody said you have to do it in an ugly way. The next time she decides to open her mouth, simply look at her dead in the eyes, and tell her everyone is sick of her attitude. Honesty really is a good policy. And if your brother marries a woman like that, why don't you try talking to your brother first. I really do hope that helps.
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Perhaps she senses that she is not completely welcome in the family and her attitude is a result of her insecurities. Mean people are rarely just mean. there's usually a reason, something they are trying to cover up. If it is that bad, you need to start with your brother. Give him the respect of letting him know how his wife is causing issues before you go behind his back. If he rejects you or doesn't seem to agree, you can all decide not to attend family functions with them (which seems tacky, after all, family isn't perfect, that's why its family!) or you can all decide to ignore her attitude and focus on enjoying each other. You can't ever change another person, you can only change how YOU react to other people.
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I'm guessing that the family functions are at your parents house. If that's the case, the family needs to tell them of your concerns. If they don't want to address it in fear of hurting their sons feelings, then the rest of you need to make a seperate date for a visit. The brother & his wife can go on one weekend and the rest of you on another. That should send a clear enough message to your brother that you don't approve of their behavior. Hope this helps and good luck.
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