|
Forgetting Sexual Abuse?
I am a 17 year old girl who is questioning my past. I have heard about people who were abused and forget the entire thing, and was wondering if this was a possibility for me. I am extremely afraid of sex and have anxiety about men. I hate hearing footsteps behind me because it scares me. I am also afraid at night that there is someone in my room. I sometimes have dreams about groups of men chasing me. I used to self-mutilate a few years ago and I also had an eating disorder.
I am asking this question because I heard that these are things that abused people do, and because people in my support group for eating disorders have asked if I was abused after I talked about some things. Is there any way to find out, or any other clues I can look for? Thanks =]
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Hi 17-year-old me, this is 28-year-old me.
I so wish that I could really travel back in time and sit with you, speak to you, and hug you. But this is the best I can do.
You are so young, and have gone through so much. Unfortunately, I have to tell you that your struggles with cutting and eating disorders are far from over. In fact, over the next couple of years they are going to get worse. But you also are going to have a great therapist and be at the college that you want to go to (and yes, you will have friends there).
You've had a sense for a long time that you were sexually abused, and not just because of the cutting, anxiety, etc.
It's so amazing how you can know about your sexual abuse experiences while also really not knowing about them. You're too young and in too much of a vulnerable position to deal with the memories now, but in a few years they will start coming back, and it will simultaneously be the worst and best (?) experiences of your life. The memories and flashbacks are so painful, but finding out the truth about yourself and even confronting others about it is so healing, even if those people react badly. But you'll finally know, and those things will finally be over, even if you don't get all of the closure you wanted, or all of the memories back.
I wish that I could really be there with you and for you, and help to guide you through the next few years. They are going to be so difficult. But you also will really enjoy college and meet a few amazing people that I am still friends with today.
I also wanted you to know that despite all of your anxiety and other difficulties, you will reach your dream of being a therapist, and that you will really enjoy working with teens. The experiences you are having now are so challenging but will help you so much as you work with these people who in your world are just in preschool right now.
Keep going; don't give up. Trust people that are trustworthy and never forget where you came from. Always remember what you are learning about people and emotions. They are things you need to learn and they'll help you everyday in your future profession.
Sending you so much love through time and space,
Love,
28-year-old me <3
]
Something similar happened to me. I have an eating disorder and also depression/anxiety disorders and while I was in the hospital for treatment I started having flashbacks of me being sexually abused. I talked about it in individual therapy and it turns out that my parents knew about it, but figured since I forgot it wasn't important to tell my psychiatrist. After I knew that tons of things made sense to me, especially the way I act around men.
My aunt was also sexually abused and forgot about it, it took her years and years of therapy to sort things out. It may just be in your head, and it might NOT be the cause of your self-harm/eating disorder behaviors, but it could be possible that it is a part of it.
I think you should talk to your individual therapist if you have one. If not talk about it in your support group, and if you have a way to pay for it find a good therapist that specializes in the areas you need help in. Good luck!
]
Only you will be able to find the answers to these questions, HOWEVER, I will strongly caution you to NOT take the word of layman and just anybody about this supposed abuse.
Self-mutilation, eating disorder and the anxiety you describe do NOT have to have a situational cause. That means, there doesn't have to be a 'reason' or something that 'happened' to trigger them. They can just be, biologically and neurologically, the way you are. Human beings are animals, and animals experience fear. Human beings are complicated animals, who come up with complicated ways to experience and deal with fear, but we don’t need necessarily need a past experience to fear. Fear comes to us naturally, it’s doesn’t need a good reason.
In the 1950s therapists and psychiatrists weren't as aware of the power of suggestion and through some practices 'discovered' memories of abuse in thousands of people who were never actually assaulted or abuses. Our minds can be amazingly convincing at rebuilding scenarios and memories if the suggestion that is must have happened in strong enough. Unfortunately, many people still believe the myth of ‘repressed’ traumatic memories, but the truth is that situation is very, very rare in real life.
Modern doctors pretty much agree that memories of child abuse are VERY, very rarely completely forgotten and then remembered later. It just doesn’t happen in life like it does in the movies.
Read this information from the American Psychological Association on memories of childhood abuse. It should give the real facts, not the common myths.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
]
I would talk to a counsler Omg i feel so sorry for you
]
you should probably talk to an adult perferably a counsellor just because what your going through can be considered pernoia and depression and its very serious and needs to be handled immediatly.
]
More Questions: |